From my “Murphy’s Law” desk calendar archives thanks to Aunt Evelyn, Uncle Pipey, and cousin Nancy:

Law of Probable Dispersal: Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

 Goofy guy’s analysis of the Law of Probable Dispersal: Hence, all systems of government insist their system will work while ignoring the Law of Probable Dispersal.

This law is one of my favorites.

From my “Murphy’s Law” desk calendar archives thanks to Aunt Evelyn, Uncle Pipey, and cousin Nancy:

Imbesi’s Law of the Conservation of Filth: In order for something to become clean, something else must become dirty.

Freeman’s Extension: …but you can get everything dirty without getting anything clean.

 Goofy guy’s evidence of Imbesis’s Law of the Conservation of Filth and Freeman’s Extension: Here, the dirty object resulting from cleaning is me while if everything is dirty and nothing is clean, i am the dirtiest of all that’s dirty. 

From my “Murphy’s Law” desk calendar archives thanks to Aunt Evelyn, Uncle Pipey, and cousin Nancy:

Spenser’s Laws of Data:
1. Anyone can make a decision given enough facts.
2. A good manager can make a decision without enough facts.
3. A perfect manager can operate in a perfect ignorance.

 Goofy guy’s lifetime assessment of Spenser’s Laws of Data: i have observed all three laws in operation in all of my varied careers. All three types of decision makers, especially the perfect managers, always thought they had enough facts and their decisions had no flaws.

From my “Murphy’s Law” desk calendar archives thanks to Aunt Evelyn, Uncle Pipey, and cousin Nancy:

Golub’s First Law of Computerdom: Fuzzy project objectives are used to avoid the embarrassment of estimating the corresponding costs.

 Goofy guy’s comment on Golub’s First Law of Computerdom: This is, i think, the basis for all military contracting, or as one business development manager once asked, “Are you still selling air?”

From my “Murphy’s Law” desk calendar archives thanks to Aunt Evelyn, Uncle Pipey, and cousin Nancy:

Hoffstedt’s Employment Principal: Confusion creates jobs.

 Goofy guy’s examples of Hoffstedt’s Employment Principal: And that my friends is why Congress, the President’s Staff, and all government agencies have about three times more employees than needed to be effective.

Aside: When Admiral Hiram Rickover was testifying before the House Armed Services Committee in the late 1970’s or early 1980’s on another subject, a member of the committee asked Rickover if he was in charge what would he do to make the Pentagon more effective. He replied he would take half of all of the flag officers and put each in a small office on the D-Ring of the Pentagon, equipped with a desk, a chair, a memo pad, and a pen. Then they could write memos to each other that would never leave the D-Ring. And that way, the other half could go about running defense more effectively.