Category Archives: A Pocket of Resistance

A potpourri of posts on a variety of topics, in other words, what’s currently on my mind.

Clay Wilson: A Story of New Palestine

This is a bit different from most of what i post here. When i find i’m not applying myself to other things , especially when i’m hung up  on writing my book about women at sea, because of many reasons and become frustrated, i now am weaning myself from going to playing spider solitaire mindlessly. Instead, i turn to this group of stories i began probably in high school about a fictional town called “New Palestine.” i am fully aware it may never be finished. i’m not even sure what to call it, a book? It is just something in my mind with no connection to anything other than they are ideas i want to write about. Just write.

i again would caution folks from my hometown of Lebanon, Tennessee they should draw no connection to the characters in these stories. Although the people and the locations are drawn from folks and places i know and love, the connection stops as soon as they become part of my little town of fiction. When Maureen read this one last night, her comment was she was surprised, that it was a bit different. It is different for me. Don’t know where it came from other than when i was top-40 deejay at WCOR a young girl called me and did invite me to come to her house and meet her (i did not do that and have forgotten her name). i hope those that read this enjoy it, but i put it here more to be an archive for me. i do like it.

Clay Wilson

Well, I am going to tell you it was all in my head. I mean I didn’t know whether it was real or not, but I was a’thinking all the time it was all in my head.

I just don’t how I got that way, thinking about them things like that, but it scared the bejeezus out of me, and I just didn’t know; I just didn’t know what to think, or even if I was a’thinking.

It all happened on the wrong kind of night for things like that to be happening, you know. It was early September. The hot, humid summer had finally given away to those crisp, dry, autumn days with a breeze: Tennessee autumn at its best.

I was back home after that one forlorn, lost, and pretty well misguided idea I was going to be some academic wonder kid. Duke and I didn’t get along. They expected me to study, and not go all slobbering after all those educated and prominent-family skirts with the long legs and blond hair and big tits, and join in all the hell raising to excess when I had pretty much been banned from any kind of that shit from knee-crawling, snot-blowing, diaper -crapping, upward bound redneck upbringing because that was who I was.

And I went all ga-ga and chased the women with no success and raised hell and drank like there was no tomorrow, and picked up a book every two weeks or so to flunk the exams and laugh and have another bottle of Jack Daniels before crashing in the dark night and getting up and starting all over again because I had gone too far from what I was and where I come from and who I is then and now.

So they told me to go home because there weren’t no way in hell I was a gonna get a degree in engineering because I didn’t know shit about math and calculus and physics especially only working on it more than a couple of hours a week, and they were right, and I tucked my tail between my legs, bowed my head down low hoping no one could see me, and took that long Trailways bus ride over the Smokies back to the heart of Tennessee. I had hung on for that last summer hoping to get the grades up to at least go to college somewhere, but I pretty well screwed that up too because I still was attracted to those skirts and long conversations with Mr. Jameson of Irish whiskey fame because I had told Mr. Daniels to go bite himself and his charcoal.

So I wasn’t functioning all that well and looking for a job in New Palestine and my momma talked to the radio man and he said I could work FM at night if I got a license, so I did and back then, FM wasn’t much more than classical music and public service announcements till I showed up and started playing all kinds of music and talking about the music and where it came from and such and some people – I really don’t have a clue as to how many – started listening and occasionally called in, especially when I left my mic on and cussed, and I did a good enough job that the radio man put me on the AM on the weekend afternoons. It was a hick station all right, and they played news and religion and county music , not necessarily in that order, except on the weekends when they let me play Top 40 stuff from noon to sunset, and I did even though I didn’t like that bubble gum rock shit and I snuck in a lot of blues. While I was at it, I went back to college. New Palestine Junior College. Got my associate degree and was in my last year at Jordon River College.

But it was hard work commuting  to college and working because it was just me most of the time in the station ’cause that third class radio engineer license allowed me to turn the whole station on and off and no one else was there on the weekend, so I was working both AM and FM, putting on some bullshit light classical LP on FM and running down the hall to do the AM show and rushing into the back breeko block closet where the AP news wire was and ripping it off and reading the headlines and the weather (which was always wrong, but I read it all the way it was except for the temperature when I would run outside and look at the big thermometer and notice there weren’t no clouds like I was going to read about and did) and run back in and read the news and after the commercial put on a forty-five knowing I had two minutes to run up the hall, play an public service spot and put on another LP and run back down in time to do my thing when the forty-five was over.

But it was fun in a way because I could talk about shit while I played music I liked (most of the time), and I didn’t really care who was listening.

After a while, people would call in every once in a while and ask for a song, and I would hunt through the stacks of forty-fives and find it and play it and make some joke like “This is the Four Seasons’ hit ‘I’ve Got You Under My Skin’ and even though I think that’s a funny place to be ‘cause I imagine it itches like heck, but we’re playing this as a special request for Betty Jo,” and things like that.

This had been going on for about a year, when one Sunday afternoon, the phone call started it all. She had a sweet voice when she called that first time.

“You sure have a great show on weekends,” she said, “I love the music you play.”

“Why thank you,” I said, “Is there a song you would like me to play?”

“No, I like everything you play,” she said.

Then she said, “I really would like to meet you.”

“Oh, that would be nice,” I lied, not knowing quite how to respond.

“My name is Mary Beth Perkins,” she said, “Would you like to come out to my house after you get through with the show today?”

“Uh, I’m not sure,” I fumbled.

“Our house is behind the Route 127 Motel and Cafe,” she went on, “My daddy owns it. You just take the drive before the motel coming out of town, go up the hill, park out front, and knock on the front door.”

I was a bit flummoxed ‘cause no girl had ever asked me out before, and I just flat didn’t know what to do. I also was wondering what she looked like.

“Hey, can you call me back?” I stalled, “I’ve got to read the news and work FM.”

“Sure,” Mary Beth laughed

I’m thinking she ain’t gonna call back. I knew Elmer Perkins was the guy who owned that diner and the motel where a lot of clandestine and shady deals happened, not too mention it was a place where frowned upon copulations occurred. That girl is just blowing smoke, I thought. So I just cued the 45’s and ran the cassette ads. As a Motown hit was playing, I remembered her from a high school football game I attended. A looker; a real, young looker.

Then about two forty-fives later, the phone rings and it’s her.

She said, “Daddy’s out until late tonight, and I got some beer and sandwiches if you would like to come on out.”

And I guess that’s when I lost all of my senses and said yes, dreaming of things happening that never would.

When the sun set, because back then, some AM stations due to FCC rules had to shut down, I guess to eliminate interference with the more powerful stations. I mean I really don’t know, but that’s what one of the other deejay’s told me, and I headed out route 127.

I drove around the diner and the motel and drove up the gravel road to the house on the top of the hill just as it was turning dark. Mary Beth was on the porch a’waving at me. I got up and went inside. She offered me a can of PBR out of the refrigerator, and there weren’t no way I was gonna pass up a big blue. She guided me to the couch in the living room and after one sip of my beer, she took it out of my hand and laid a wet, tongue probing kiss on me before I knew what she was doing.

Well then we got serious, but I kept a thinking, calculating how old she was and if I was gonna get in trouble I couldn’t get out of. But I gave in and we started getting real serious.

We still had our clothes on, but were down to humping on the couch with me feeling her up and she grabbing my junk.

But her daddy had a deal go sour and came home early, really early. Seeing my car, he was ready when he slammed through the front door.

“Mary Beth, what is this son-of-a-bitch doing to you. Get to your room, right now.”

She collected her stuff and quickly shuffled out the hall door toward what I presumed was her room. I was watching her go and then turned to see Elmer pointing an Army .45 caliber pistol at me. I knew the weapon well, having learned all of its capabilities at my ROTC courses at the military prep school in town. I could still take it apart and put it back together while blindfolded, although I never figured out why I needed to do that until my daddy told me about trying to clean his carbine in a dark corner of the carpool on Luzon when the Japs were hitting his Seabee unit and the power had been shut off.

But this was no drill.

Elmer shook the pistol and motioned for me to get up.

“Come on, boy, we’re going for a ride.”

I was pretty sure it wasn’t for a pleasant look at the country side.

He directed me to the shotgun seat of his Ford pickup and climbed into the driver’s seat, holding the 45 pointing toward me and the steering wheel with his left hand, turning on the ignition and working the stick shift with his right. We drove east, toward the old Bethlehem stone quarry, which they had mined to death and left a cavernous pit, now filled with squalid, dirty water about forty or fifty feet deep and another thirty or forty feet below the top.

Old Elmer didn’t say a word, and I sure as hell wasn’t in the mood to start a conversation. He turned off the old highway onto the gravel past the long-abandoned operations tower and pulled toward the rim.

I was a’thinking. I remembered this crazy characteristic of those 45’s Sergeant Tilley taught us in that sophomore year of ROTC about the safeties on the pistol. They all made sense to me except one, which was if you pushed the barrel back, the gun wouldn’t fire. And I thought that was about the craziest thing it could be ‘cause who the hell who push the barrel back, presumably with their palm and risk getting their hand blown off.

But at this point in time with Elmer a‘fumbling with the steering wheel, the brake, the clutch, and the gear shift, I thought that crazy safety might be my only chance. If i could keep the gun from firing, i might be able to get it out of his hand and me out of the car and run like hell. So I reached across the bench seat, shoved my right palm at the barrel hoping to enable the safety.

Didn’t work.

Elmer turned and jerked the 45 away from me. My hand hit the side of the barrel pushing it up and away from me. Trying to recover control of everything, Elmer pulled the trigger. The bullet went through the bottom of his chin and out the top of his head. Blood and brain spattered everywhere as Elmer, or what was left of him and his head, slumped to the steering wheel. I recoiled and sat there for a moment trying to collect my thoughts. I got out and found an old towel behind the bench seat. I wiped the blood and stuff off of me and my clothes as well as I could. Then I wiped as much of the truck I could where my fingerprints might have been. After I thought i had gotten my prints off of everything, I sat down on the rear bumper and thought about what to do.

I knew Elmer ran with a bad crowd, bootleggers, johns, and who knows what. I decided I would just leave him there. But the gun; what about the gun? I wasn’t sure I had gotten any of my prints off of it. So I walked up to the quarry pit and threw the 45 into the deep dark pool below.

With that, I started a long walk.  I had to get back to town and circumvent the square where I surely would be seen and turn northeast to 127. It was about a ten-mile trek. I kept a’thinking how I was going to explain what happened to Mary Beth. But when I got to the diner and motel, I walked up to the back and only my old Vauxhall was outside. Elmer’s ’59 Plymouth, his other go-to-meetings car was gone. I went up on the porch and called. When there was no answer, I took out my bandana I always carried in  my back pocket and tried the door handle. It was locked.

I called a couple of more times and when there was no answer, I got in my car and drove home.

They found Elmer in his pickup the next afternoon. Then, Mister Blaylock, the bus station manager, said a pretty young girl calling herself Mary Buford had bought a ticket to Pensacola, Florida late the evening before. He remembered her because she had three suitcases and needed help boarding the bus. The New Palestine police found Elmer’s old Plymouth in the parking lot behind the bus station. The authorities traced Mary Beth to Pensacola but never could figure out where she went after that.

They finally decided Elmer had gotten into a bad deal with one of his whiskey partners who killed him. They never found the gun. They never found the killer either.

I worked at the radio station until I got my degree almost a year after the incident. Knowing the draft was going to send me to Vietnam as a ground pounder, I applied and was accepted to Navy OCS.

I left New Palestine and never came back.

copyright jim jewell 2020

Fun Game

As you should know, i am a San Diego Padre fan. And many of you know i have previously railed against the gross overspending on sports when 1) that excess of money spent by owners to inflate the value of their teams and their players could be much better spent on worthwhile causes that really meant something, and 2) the big money has changed professional, college, and even high school sports, impacting the way the games are played all the way down to pre-schoolers: they are no longer pure sports; they are entertainment businesses.

The Padres have gone the way of the Yankees, the Dodgers, the Red Sox, the Cubs, the Cowboys, and in fact, every NFL team. Money is no object. Using my shaky math, the Padres have contracts with players amounting to $748 Million (spread over ten years considering the longest term contract) and have a payroll this year of (very) roughly $154 Million.

i really don’t think the players, the owners, the sports networks, the advertisers, the whole shooting match needs that much except for their egos — i would have been and still would be delirious if someone paid me $500,000 per year, the minimum salary for a major league ballplayer…and that would be for one year.

i have rooted for the Padre players as individuals since i moved to San Diego in 1975. i have rooted for the team as well, but it was the players i studied. It was deflating when they didn’t do well, and even worse when they left or were traded away. Losing several players like Hunter Renfroe and Austin Hedges were downers for me. i really liked them. i recognized such loyalty was not good for winning baseball. i understood, but i didn’t like it.

And here we are. i’m now just a fan. i don’t think it’s because i live in the Southwest corner. i shared season tickets with my good friend, Jim Hileman, for about a dozen years, and hung on for another three years until the prices drove me to watching on television. i turned Maureen into a fan. Watching the Friars is our nightly entertainment during the season. i’ve tried to remain the objectivity of a sports journalist, something on my resumé, throughout this crazy, upside down season due to the pandemic. But now, i have tossed out my concerns about the imbalance, the ruination of pure sports, and objectivity.

Here’s why. This year’s edition of the San Diego Padres captured me early on…or at least as early on as the greatly delayed, extremely reduced season of COVID-19 would allow. Not because of their talent, or the rather impressive potential of that talent. i am a big fan of this team because they are fun. They have fun. Jurickson Profar is my favorite on the team, not because of his impressive over achievement from his previous statistics, not because he has often provided offensive spark at the bottom of the lineup, not because he has become a better than average outfielder when he has been a second basemen for most of his career, not because he has played second and all three outfield positions.

Nope, he’s my favorite because he is always smiling. The game is obviously fun for him, He makes it fun for me when i see his smile.

Jake Croneworth is right up there also. If you haven’t noticed him, he’s the kid really and looks even younger, like a curly-haired kid about the age of my grandson Sam at thirteen. He had a slump in September but has been playing like an old pro, enough to be considered for rookie of the year. He’s the kid who hit the home run last night, putting icing on the cake of an incredible comeback playoff winning series.

Now, they play the Dodgers, of all teams. The bums whine, play by unwritten rules, are sore losers — their fans are even worse, perhaps worse than the Yankee, Red Sox, and Cubs fans (and something i fear will become of Padre fans if they win the whole thing). LA makes the Padre salary output look like chicken feed. And they are good, very, very good. And their starting pitching, one of the best in baseball, is healthy.

The Padres don’t have a chance. But then, i didn’t think they had a chance when they meekly conceded the first game to another nemesis, the Cardinals, four days ago. So i’ll be watching. Did i mention they play the game the way it was meant to be played when they are not hitting it out of the park. They call it “small ball,” walking, bunting, stealing bases, hit and run, singles to the opposite field, great defense.

It’s fun. Don’t watch them too much. You might become a fan. Because it’s a fun game.

 

Daddy, or Known to Most as Jimmy Jewell

He is 106 today.

He remains my rock.

Two things i wrote about him. One was written twenty years ago. The second was written eleven years ago posted and recited here in earlier posts.

i miss him.

An Incredible Man

There is an incredible man in Lebanon. He was born September 28, 1914.

The first record of his family in America dates to 1677. His great, great, great grandfather came over the Cumberland Gap to Kentucky with Daniel Boone and apparently was Daniel’s brother-in-law. His great, great grandfather moved to Statesville in southeastern Wilson County in the early 1800’s.

He had three brothers and three sisters. He is the only one left.

He has lived through two world wars, fighting as a Seabee in the southern Philippines in the last one. He has lived through the depression, the cold war, the Korean War, the Vietnam War, and the Persian Gulf War.

He had to quit his senior year at Lebanon High School to go to work when his father contracted tuberculosis. He started as a mechanic, shared a business with his brother-in-law in the 1950’s, and then became a partner in an automobile dealership and a gas and oil distributorship. He retired in 1972.

He and his wife have been married for 62 years. They remain infatuated with each other. The first home they owned was a one-room house, adjacent to his wife’s family farm on Hunter’s Point Pike. They bought their next home on Castle Heights Avenue in 1941 with the help of a $500.00 loan from a friend. They have lived there ever since.

He and his wife put three children through college. They have five grandchildren. They have visited every state in the Union, except Alaska, where they were headed in 1984 when his wife’s illness forced them to turn around in British Columbia. Nearly all of their travel has been by RV’s, most in a twenty-eight foot fifth-wheel. When he was 84 and his wife was 80, they made their last cross-country trip to San Diego where they spent winters since 1985 with their eldest son and his family. They have made several trips up and down the east coast since then, and the fifth-wheel is still ready to go in their backyard.

They live comfortably in their retirement. Most people guess his age as early 70’s. Last month, he painted their master bedroom and sanded and painted the roof of his two-car carport. When he can’t find anyone to go fishing with him, he hooks up the boat trailer and goes by himself. Now he usually throws his catch back in. When he used to bring the catch home, he would clean the fish and give them away. He doesn’t like to eat fish, just catch them.

For years, he had the reputation as the best mechanic in Wilson County. He can still fix anything except computers and new cars because he has shunned learning the electronic advances.

All of this isn’t why this man is incredible.

He is incredible because he is such a good man.

He is a willow. He bends with the winds of change and the changes of “progress.” Yet he never breaks. His principles remain as solid as a rock. He is extremely intelligent but humble.

He seems to always be around when someone needs help. Everyone considers him a friend and he reciprocates.

He is not rich, financially. But he is one of the richest men around.

My generation’s fathers were family men. They lived through hard times and hard work without a whimper. They believed in giving a day’s work for a day’s pay. They kept their sense of humor. Their sons wish they could emulate them.

Jimmy Jewell, or James Rye Jewell, Sr., this remarkable man, remains my best friend. I am his oldest son. I have worshipped him since the first recallable thoughts came into my head fifty-three or so years ago. I still find myself wishing I could have his strength, his kindness, his work ethic, his love, his faith.

My father and I have had enough talks for him to know how I feel. But I’ve seen too many people wait until someone was gone before singing their praises publicly. I figure he’s got a good chance to outlive us all, but I wanted to acknowledge how much he means to me and how great a man I think he is.

Happy eighty-sixth birthday, Dad.

Hands

when most folks meet him,
they notice steel blue eyes and agility; his gaze, gait and movements
belie the ninety-five years;
but
those folks should look at his hands: Durer, if he saw them,
would want to paint them.

his hands are marked from
tire irons, jacks, wrenches, sledges, micrometers on carburetors, axles, brake drums, distributors, starting in ’34 at twelve dollars a week.
He has used those hands to
repair the cars and
our hearts;

his hands pitched tents,
made the bulldozers run
in war
in the steaming, screaming sweat of Bougainville, New Guinea, the Philippines.

his hands have nicks and scratches turned into scars with
the passage of time:
a map of history, the human kind.

veins and arteries stand out
on the back of his hands,
pumping life;
tales are etched from
grease and oil and grime,
cleansed with gasoline and goop and lava soap;

they are hands of labor, hands of hard times, hands of hope,
hands of kindness, caring.

his hands own wisdom,
passing it to those who know him with a pat, a caress, a handshake.

his hands tell the story
so well.

In the Garden with Sean of the South

Every once in while, actually quite frequently, Sean Dietrich in his blog “Sean of the South” touches a chord within me. Similar experiences in the South, i guess, although the time difference is about a half a century.

Today, he knocked it out of the park when it comes to chord touching.

You see, “In the Garden” is close to being my favorite gospel hymn, and would be unequivocally if there weren’t so many i love.

i keep trying to play several of them from “Christian Service Songs,” that belonged to my sister but i ended up with — Did she give it to me? Probably. Martha is very good to me. And why did i call it the “Cokesbury Methodist Hymnal? Was that the big Sunday morning version with the more formal hymns? Oh man, i have forgotten so much — And i try to play those songs on the piano even though i cannot pick out the left hand accompaniment to the right hand tune very well, if at all. But i keep coming back to “In the Garden” primarily because i love to sing along it with my futile picking — and to think i once (at 14) played in a recital in that beautiful concert hall at George Peabody College (and did fairly well, i might add, with a Bach piece, which, of course, i’ve forgotten, much less how to play it) thanks to Mrs. Gwaltney, who touched the lives of so many of us aspiring Lebanon musicians, one of which gave it all up for football, basketball, and baseball.

And Sean was playing and singing it with his band in an empty concert hall this time. i was singing it in our front room Maureen calls her work room and i call her fun room i should stay out of. i suspect Sean and i know i are taken back to church sings.

My walk back into yore was into that old second edition of the Methodist church on East Main Street , not counting Pickett Chapel, the original first Methodist church but i doubt if they called it that and the balcony shamefully was for the slaves and the white folks gave the building to the former slaves — Oh Lord, i hope not, although i’m pretty sure it was to have separate churches of the same denomination for folks with different skin tones. But this second edition with Bible scenes in the two huge stained glass windows and the three sections of sanctuary seating and the balcony, not for other skin tones like the Capitol Theater on the other side of the square but for Castle Heights’ Sunday morning marching cadets. But that balcony was pretty much empty on Sunday evenings when the cadets were in CQ studying and the men’s choir sang and the sermon was short and the service was mostly gospel songs with everyone singing at the top of their voices and even if a bit off-key, could nail “In the Garden.” i would watch my father in the men’s choir singing his heart out while Mother sort of squeaked, and Martha, Joe, and i baroomed out the words.

Gotta tell you, it made me feel good, warm inside. Wish i could go there one more time.

“In the Garden.”

https://seandietrich.com/i-come-to-the-garden-alone/

Thanks, Sean.

Epic Poem

It is my fervent wish that any two people in a romantic relationship have found what Maureen and i have found, and as i believe, my parents had it all along. All else is secondary.

i wrote the first part of this “epic poem” while at sea (obviously) two months after we had married and one month after she spent the Labor Day weekend with me in Jacksonville, Florida before my last ship, the USS Yosemite (AD-19) deployed. i wrote the second one two days ago, thinking of it when i woke up and putting the first draft down before i went off for golf. i suspect there will be a third part of this later.

To Maureen: The Beginning of an Epic Poem

Indian Ocean phosphorescence;
glowing waves in the night awe me no longer
(younger sailors almost shout in delight
at the discovery of sparkling waves),
i walk back to my stateroom with better things to do:
to dream true visions:

There should have been a diaphanous mist,
ethereal, mystical,
flowing about her
when she walked toward me the first time

Mind, do not play tricks on me.
i desire to remember the moment exactly as it was:
Clear, finite.

Her dress seemed to be a gossamer gown
softly caressing the elegance of her body;
her hair curled softly,
falling gracefully to her shoulders,
framing the delicate, fine features.
Eyes, oh eyes, drawing me in, taking my breath,
suggested more than my mind could comprehend,
grasped my soul and told me
Scherazade’s thousand tales,
drew me into the bottomless pit of emotion
before i knew emotion had no end;
allowed me to float suspended in her beauty.
i was afraid to speak,
afraid i might fall from suspension,
break the image before me.
then we got down to business.
What in god’s name did i think, i think.
perhaps suspicions of such beauty, certainly awed.
i made a joke.
Did she notice i was nervous?
Oh little boy, walk away as if
you were merely happy with the thought
you will see her at least one more time.

i am deep into the Indian Ocean night.
i have learned to gauge the depth of the night
by the strength of the coffee.
now the coffee is very strong, very black.
the work seems endless.
the sea infinite.

Yet i smile
when i dream of her.

over the hill: the continuation of an epic poem that began in my head, 1982

the wind blows gently over the hill
from the sea to the west
to the home
where we have lived
some thirty-plus years;
she sits across from me at breakfast,
by my side at the kitchen counter for lunch,
on her love seat, me in the lounge chair
with dinner trays for supper;
she usually goes to bed early;
later, i slip i beside her,
touch her hand,
no more than that:
quite different from years past,
i wish her to sleep, not wake her,
(rituals of the marriage dance, you see)
she does not completely understand me,
but
probably more than i understand her;
we agree on most things;
we are different,
far different than either of us
ever imagined when it all began
in an Rx7, dinners, sailing,
John Lee Hooker, Doc Watson,
Sarah Vaughn, MJQ,
Tommy Dorsey’s orchestra,
Mose Allison:
not the stuff of today,
before i went back to sea for a while;
we either laugh at our differences
or understand and abide;
she is as beautiful as when i met her
just a little bit different from younger years;
she remains so beautiful inside
it makes my heart ache to be without her
for more than half a day.

you see, we have learned to love
through all sorts of stuff
and
this makes our world calmer,
which is what love is supposed to be.