Category Archives: A Pocket of Resistance

A potpourri of posts on a variety of topics, in other words, what’s currently on my mind.

A Bit Odd

As is my habit, i reread my first post about my academic pursuits, “A Short Happy Time in Academia, Part I” this morning. As usual it was chocked full of errors, mostly grammatical or missing something i had intended to include — almost never something i needed to delete: After writing newspaper articles and columns with a limit of 750 words for most of my life, i am free and celebrate my verbosity.

As i began to edit the post again, several thoughts washed over me.

i am not like other writers. i am not a good editor. i am not ashamed to admit it.

Like i should not publish my posts until i’ve scoured them with a fine-toothed comb and am sure all of the errors have been corrected. Nope. Early on, you get my stuff hot off the press, just as i wrote it, errors and all. i think you get a better idea of me…or maybe i’m just damn lazy. Other writers don’t do that. They are good editors, and there are very few errors after they have concluded their scrubbing. They want to cast a long shadow of expertise and sophistication. They want to project professionalism. Me? i ain’t too hot on projecting something i’m not (and against the protests of many, continue to use the incorrect “ain’t” in my writing, for example).

Oh yeh, i’m stubborn about that. i’m really a pocket of resistance. When someone tells me i can’t, shouldn’t, ought not to, mustn’t write or do something, that sin will most likely appear in my next piece of writing.

It struck me i am like that in many, many respects. It ain’t better or worse than what most folks do or think. It’s just me. i am all over the place in almost every line of thought, politics, religion, earth science, medicine, philosophy. Truly a pocket of resistance, i admit.

That, and many other things, leads me to the conclusion i am a bit odd, not like other folks.

i am so odd, i know there is only one woman who would put up with me for long periods of time. And i happen to be married to her.

And i am a lucky man.

Oh yes, the corrections i made to my last long post have been made…at least for now.

A Short Happy Time in Academia, Part I

Before i launch “A Tale of the Sea and Me” posts here, i would like to share one of the best periods of my life and briefly touching academia, both going down to the depths and rising to my version of success, then walking away when the military called.

This was all brought up by a rather amazing man who has shown interest in my writing and experience.

Dr. Stepehn Severn is the Dean of English at Middle Tennessee State University. i connected with him through marketing my book, Steel Decks and Glass Ceilings.

Back in October of last year when my trip back to Vanderbilt and the Naval War College had been solidified. i unsuccessfully had attempted to find the person in charge of the Army and Navy ROTC programs at my alma mater. i wished to add their students to my presentations. Since i had received my BA in English in ’67, i decided to contact the dean of English to solicit his advice and support. i found Dr. Severn’s email and sent him my book’s marketing piece with some personal information about my time at the Murfreesboro college.

He responded. i later found out, he was not only the Dean of English at MTSU, he had been a nuclear engineer in the Navy before getting out and pursuing an English doctorate. Impressive, indeed.

It was too late for him to arrange a presentation at MTSU, but he volunteered to attend my presentation. Follow-on emails and phone calls gave us information about each other.

i was impressed again. Getting to and fro between Murfreesboro and Nashville is no longer the easy task it was back when i was doing so in the 60’s. After my presentation, he gave me some MTSU swag. The golf shirt and the tee shirt proudly proclaimed “English” below the logo. i wear them proudly.

Dr. Severn also asked me if i would participate in a “Zoom” discussion with him about the history of the Middle Tennessee English Department. In our correspondence and phone calls, i had told him of the great respect i had for one of his predecessors and one of the professors from whom i took courses.

i was honored he asked and immediately agreed.

Consequently on Tuesday in the week before Christmas, i had the new-fangled, long-distance version of oral history. Dr. Severn and members of his staff had decided to begin gathering oral history from former students and professors before the opportunity was lost. They have yet to decide on what the end product will be, but they are at work.

My Zoom time with Steve was exhilarating. i had jotted down thoughts about my time at MTSU and my relationship with the two professors of the past, deciding to write a post or more about my experience: how i got there, my time while attending, the benefits i received, and how it affected my life after graduation. Here it is:

After blessedly being accepted to resume my college education at Middle Tennessee State College — it became a university right after i arrived in June 1965 — following a disastrous start at Vanderbilt, i was understandably nervous as i walked on campus for the first time. i was looking for the English building and the dean, whom i thought would be my advisor or assign one.

The building, a grey stone building, Murfree Hall, sat in almost the exact center of the campus before it was expanded. It was named after Bettie Avent Murfree, the school’s first librarian. The building stood out, surrounded by beautiful lawns and trees. Unlike the other brick and modern glass campus buildings, it was old, opening in 1926 as the library of what was then known as a “teachers college.”

i stood in the central hall and found the directory. It indicated the office Dr. Scott Peck, the Dean of English, was to my left. i had done some research and was excited to meet the man. He had earned his doctorate alongside Robert Penn Warren at Vanderbilt . John Crow Ransom and Alan Tate were there as undergraduates. They, along with Warren were known as “The Fugitive” named after the magazine Tate began in the early 1920’s at Vanderbilt to which they all contributed. i admired them all. But Peck spurned the more prestigious role of a writer with that group and went to Middle Tennessee. i was intrigued.

i reached the door of his office and heard what sounded like a radio. i knocked. When directed to do so, i opened the door.

The dean’s office was more like a walk-in closet than an office, roughly 18 feet long and eight to ten feet wide with the lone window looking north. the large old, oak desk, somewhat battered, sat at the other end from the door. Bookshelves hid the entire walls up to the 10-foot ceiling and were packed with books.

Dr. Peck with a shock of white hair and a ruddy complexion sat behind that desk with his feet propped up on the left front corner. He was wearing “Duck Head” khaki work pants with brogans. He had on a white, long sleeve shirt with a tie loosened around his collar. In the right back corner was the transistor radio, blaring, what i heard just before entering. It was playing a broadcast of the Saint Louis Cardinal’s baseball game. Harry Caray was calling the play by play. Dr. Peck turned the game off and asked why i was there.

i informed him i was seeking a Bachelor of Arts degree in English after failing in my pursuit of an Engineer’s degree at Vanderbilt. He shook his head and informed me he would not be my advisor, that he was the advisor for English majors who sought a B.S. degree and those pursuing a B.A. had the Dean of Arts and Science for an advisor. He added that very few, if any, English majors chose a B.A. to pursue. Most English majors were planning to be teachers, and others didn’t want to take the two years of a foreign language required for a B.A. They opted for a B.S.

i was adamant about a B.A. i stirred to leave and was ready to thank him for his time when Dr. Peck said for me to let him look at my records since i was there. i agreed and handed him the folder with my record at Castle Heights and Vanderbilt, as well as a brief description of my time with The Nashville Banner.

He scanned the pages in the folder, often shaking his head. i thought a couple of times he might laugh.

“That’s quite a record,” he said with what sounded like a sardonic twinge to me, adding, “I’m looking forward to having you in class.”

I thanked him and noted i was disappointed he wouldn’t be my advisor, preparing to leave again. Again, he stopped me.

“You know this is going to be much different than Vanderbilt, don’t you,” he advised.

“Yes, sir,” i responded, “i’m aware of that.”

“I’m pretty sure you don’t really understand the difference,” he said.

i’m sure i looked puzzled so he added, “It’s very parochial, here.”

i wondered about how he phrased that, but after my first summer and fall semesters, i knew he had accurately described the difference. i marvel as i review the history of the school and the English department.

Middle Tennessee currently has 50 English professors with doctorates among 78 professors in the department. When i attended, there were 7 professors with doctorates included in the 22 professors. The stone Murfree building was torn down and replaced by the much larger and impressive Peck Hall, named after Scott Peck and his wife, Virginia, right after i graduated and departed for Navy OCS in September 1967. As i often realize, it has changed quite a bit since my time.

My best moments with Dr. Peck came when i took his Shakespeare class in the spring of 1966. His knowledge and love of Shakespeare was apparent. He bestowed that love and appreciation upon his his students, at least this student. i had always grappled with Shakespeare’s work. After all, i was a small town Middle Tennessee boy who had chosen English because it was the best option with my only aspiration of being a sports columnist, and that was because i finally had accepted i wasn’t going to make a living playing football, or baseball, or basketball.

But Dr. Peck made Shakespeare sing.

One of the final assignments in the class was to find another writer of Shakespeare’s time, and write a critique of this other playwright’s play. i chose John Webster and his drama, “The Duchess of Malfi.”

i had a great idea but thought it was a might risky. But what the hell, i said to myself. Go for it. i compared the “Duchess of Malfi” to an oater, a B grade western. i worked hard. Then my mother worked hard.

You see, i was working my way through MTSU. My parents had coughed up a lot of money to get me through three semesters at Vanderbilt after i lost my scholarship, and i had vowed to pay my own way on my second attempt.

i was working as an AM and FM deejay on WCOR in my hometown, as a county and sports correspondent for The Nashville Banner, a salesmen in the men’s clothing store owned by my friend Jimmy Hankins, and over the holidays conducting a parts inventory for my father’s parts department at Hankins, Byars, and Jewell Pontiac dealership, not to mention even then i was a procrastinator supreme.

i finished writing the paper early in the evening before it was due the next day. i was typing an error-filled version as fast as i could when my mother, an incredible typist (84 words per minute with no errors) volunteered to take over. She finished after midnight as i sat beside her.

It took a couple of days for Dr. Peck to grade the twenty or so papers. He returned the graded papers about midway through the mid-morning class.

i quickly looked at the top of the title page. There was a large hand-written “A+,” circled in red ink. Below the grade was a note, “See me immediately after class.” i was ecstatic, imagining the rosy compliments the good doctor was going to heap upon me.

As class closed and the students began to file out, i hurried to his desk, excited about the praise i expected. As he looked as some paperwork, i stood beside the desk and thrust the paper and the note toward him.

Dr. Peck wrote in a journal in front of him and then looked at the paper and then at me.

“Your piece was very innovative and interesting in your comparison. The writing and research was excellent,” he said matter of factly.

Then he added, “But i want you to know something. If you had written that for most of the English professors here,” he paused and pointed out the window to a large and beautiful hickory tree, “You would be hanging from that tree out there.”

He taught me a lot and not just about Shakespeare. I adored that man.

Dear Mister Warren

Dear Mister Warren,
i am reading you again,
more thoughtful reading perhaps
buffered by the passage of time:
your time, my time,
perhaps because
we come from near the kindred borders
of Kentucky and Tennessee with
limestone pockmarked hills
of cedar, pine, oak, poplar, dogwood
and, of course,
hickory;
lives reared by the hills,
farm gardens, several dairy cows
in the pasture next to the barn,
hogs in the muddy slop of the sty,
all of which did not know time,
your time, my time
until it was gone.

The mockingbird trills another song
as the stars mock time
but not in golden California
or
the snow blotted woods of Connecticut:

did i write of stars mocking time
or
did i repeat what you said?

Does it matter with time?

i am more often now older than time,
antique words past time,
lost
far from those rolling, curving rivers
of water and time
in the hills and valleys of the Shawnee
when deer and bear roamed the woods
and
even then, the mockingbird
trilled its borrowed music
in our ear.

79

Today, i am somewhere between not grown up and ancient.

79 years old or young, however you look at it.

I am faced with three facts:

  • I was born and i will die.
  • I’m going to live until i die.
  • Only i can determine how i deal with the above two facts and all of the craziness that living brings.

I’m okay with that.

I celebrate my birth date with some pretty well-known folks:

Dolly Parton is two years younger (and looks much younger). I have never met Dolly, but i was not amused when she took Jeannie Seely’s place on the Porter Wagoner television show in 1967, and I hadn’t been all that thrilled when Jeannie Seely replaced Norma Jean (Busler) in 1965. I had watched Norma Jean since she debuted on the show in 1961. If she hadn’t been on the show, I probably wouldn’t have watched Porter at all and only turned on WSM-TV, channel 7, when Flatt and Scruggs followed that show at 5:00 on Saturday. Now, I have the greatest respect for Ms Parton even if her “Dollywood” turned a nice country two-lane road with single-lane hump-backed bridges leading to our mountain cabin for many years.
*     *     *
Edgar Allan Poe is/was 145 years older than me. Edgar captured me with his short stories, especially “The Pit and the Pendulum.” However, his love poems impacted me deeply: “To Helen,” “Annabel Lee,” and “Lenore.” And if someone does not like “The Raven,” they are a bit touched in my mind. My cousin Jamie Jacobs, one of the dearest, caring ladies of all time now lives in the house in Monroe, Virginia dedicated to Poe because of his service in the Army at Fort Monroe.
*     *     *
Janice Joplin is/was one year older than me. Even though i prefer Irma Franklin’s version of “Piece of My Heart,” her “Me and Bobby McGee,” written by Kris Kristofferson, and her own “Me and Bobby McGee,” remain two of my favorites.
*     *     *
Robert E. Lee is/was 143 years older than me. i think he was a noble, well-intended man, who had some hard decisions to make in a time and place that i cannot imagine. There are many who malign the man, rather the existence of slavery, the most horrible of institutions which existed in many forms in most cultures. I cannot judge the man for i did not know him nor cannot fathom what such an awful time was like. We moved forward and upward from that horrible time, but we seem destined to wallow in it for revenge. When i think of Lee, i just feel sad.
*     *     *
Paula Dean is 3 years younger than me. i would not even know who she is if it had not been for Maureen. When i think of her, i think of butter, lots of butter. Perhaps i am attributing butter to the wrong cooking show hostess. But i don’t think so.
*     *     *
In a website list of folks born on this date, there are 43 other, younger people. I do not know any of them. That is, quite possibly, those folks came after my time.

I don’t feel old but sometimes feel like time has passed me by. Time can seem like a relative thing, but it, the lucky old sun, and this lucky old son, just keep rolling along. Oh, i have a long list of medical problems that can kill me…sometime. Yes, i creak and moan and find a number of movements more difficult than they were before. And i recognize i have to adjust from my-devil-may-care, let’s-go-for-it, system for attacking life. But i feel young.

Perhaps my greatest concern is living with friends who have stopped living, good people, people i enjoyed being with.

And so it is; and so it shall be. But that last fact of the three listed at this opening of this rambling keeps whacking me in the head. “Only i can determine i how deal with the above two facts and all of the craziness that living brings about.

And by golly, i’m gonna stick with it.

79: here we go. Whoo hoo!

Batter Up

he could see the curve ball coming;
he knew it was going to break;
the score was 4-3, the count was 3-2;
a runner was on second;
’twas the 9th inning of the game:
the game on the line;
the hurler, known for his fastball,
was sure you were looking for heat;
had he thrown the heater,
he knew that he would fan;
he adjusted for the breaking stuff;
at least that was his plan;
the pitcher took his stride toward home;
the right arm released the horsehide;
he took his short stride to swing;
the pitch he quickly realized
was coming at his head;
he knew it was a curve ball;
he could tell by seeing the spin;
his reflexes then took over;
ignoring his well-thought plan;
he ducked away from the missile;
then it started to break;
down and away it tumbled,
catching the outside of the plate;
the would-be slugger shrugged.
his dream of being the hero
against the foe’s best arm
had not worked out as planned;
the at-bat and game were over.

the batter had struck out.