All posts by Jim

The Good, the Bad, the Ugly, and Happy

It is time for me to rest from my miseries for a few moments.

In the midst of chaos, a double-whammy chaos brought on by a computer and a credit card –What else could it be? — i have stopped to catch up on me and tell a good story.

You see, my laptop, my source to the outside world, all things good and bad, an infuriating root of easy attached to an even more infuriating Rube Goldberg maze with no end of security gone bad world of passwords, user names, account keys, secret codes, and some dark side of energy that saps our lives from normal existence, went down. Hard. So hard that when i confronted the laughing repaired laptop, i discovered my latest backup was corrupt and good to no one except the lord of the dark and unknown.

The double-whammy came when i complained to my bride of great wisdom that the United States Postal Service, which we used to call the post office, was now charging me for redelivery of a package that did not reach me nor what contents lie therein. Her antennae stood up and she found i had just been scammed. This, of course, required me to contact my financial institution in its greatest example of security inflamed entry through user names, account id, passwords, magic codes, and several incantations to the financial gods, and cancel my credit card. Which i did. Head shaking-ly sadly.

So now, while retrieving all of my accounts and all of my data on my computer and updating all of that security gobbeldy gook — i really thought “gobbeldy” was a word — i am also updating all of my accounts with new credit card information.

i think this is what hell looks like.

But i stop.

You see, in the midst of my frenetic scrambling yesterday, i took a break to watch Vanderbilt play Florida in a cold First Bank Stadium where good ole Dr. Dudley has taken a back seat to money.

i figured the Gators would chomp on the “Dores early to the point i not only could, but would happily, turn off somewhere around the turn of the first and second quarters.

i was gloriously wrong. Vanderbilt jumped on the Gators and rode them to the finish just like old Paul Bryant jumped on that bear in the carnival contest and beat that grizzly to earn his nickname “Bear.”

Vanderbilt beats Florida, 31-24, the first victory for the Commodores over the Gators in the newly named First Bank Stadium since 1988.

And through my amazement, my happiness, my plans to exchange joy with all of my Vanderbilt friends, i kept thinking of one person.

Mike Dixon.

For those who might not have caught about two dozen or so of my posts here. Mike Dixon and i were fast friends. He passed away just about 14 months ago. i no longer wrestle with whether i should take my golf clubs when i go back home, or my baseball glove, or my basketball.

Mike was a major, major fan of Vanderbilt sports, especially the three sports that dominated our youth: football, basketball, and baseball. He had season tickets to all three. He wanted the Commodores to beat the world, and especially the Vols at the school, University of Tennessee, which he once attended.

Mike and i played basketball and baseball together at Castle Heights and baseball against each other and then with each other on Lebanon’s American Legion team that won the mid-east regional and played in the state tournament. And we not only played together, we went together to see basketball games all over Middle Tennessee. i clearly remember he and i sitting on the hillside down the first baseline of Hawkins Field, watching Vandy play someone on a perfect spring sunny afternoon under the shade of Dudley Field. Prophetic perhaps.

Mike and i played whiffle ball endlessly in my backyard when we both were developing into almost fanatic Pittsburgh Pirate fans. A single was beyond an imaginary line between an imaginary first and second base. We played honest. A double was against the garage wall in right or the house steps. A triple was down the left field wall into the side yard or in the left center against the house again or to the driveway in right center. A home run was a fly into the Padgett’s field next door in right or past the yard to left or against the house in left. If the ball hit the small pecan tree down the third baseline or the Japanese elm just past the shortstop, we estimated the distance it would have flown. Each player had to throw in the manner of one of the Pirate pitchers. And each batter had to take the stance of one of the Pirate hitters. Favorite pitchers were were Harvey Haddix who pitched 12-innings of perfect baseball only to lose 1-0 in the 13th, Elroy Face who won 18 games in a row as the archetypal closer with his famous fork-finger pitch. On the hitting side, we liked the circular warmup swing with the head turning to the side of Roberto Clemente, my all-time favorite baseball player.

The only thing we played longer were our pick up games in the old Heights gymnasium. We played after the noon mess in our uniforms and socked feet. And we played after football, basketball, and baseball practice until Mrs. Fahey, the mother of all cadets who had an apartment in the front of the gym, would run us home where we were in trouble for being late for supper.

Then we went our separate ways to college, seldom seeing each other until we connected when Mike was out on a sales mission in Anaheim. i drove up and we talked for a couple of hours over drinks. That resumed the relationship. i would see him every time i went home to Lebanon, and if the weather allowed, one or two rounds of golf were included, many with Wayne Dedman.

Every time i came home and needed help in rides to or from the airport or a place to stay, Mike, Henry Harding, and Eddie Callis were always there for me. With Mike, a Vanderbilt game was included if the schedule fell right.

Mike ached from wanting Vanderbilt to win so badly. He was a critic, but a loyal one. He married Gloria Mallory, the light of his life after Brenda, his first wife, succumbed to cancer. Gloria and Mike shared their love of Vanderbilt sports and were one of the few couples from home who visited us in the Southwest corner, one of our favorite weekends.

Mike fought through some significant major illnesses until his heart, the one that beat so hard for sports, Vanderbilt in particular; his religion, and his wife Gloria, finally struck out swinging.

i miss him, terribly sometimes, especially in his analysis and insider dope of Vanderbilt football, basketball, and baseball.

Yesterday, somewhere up there, i am sure he was jumping up and down with joy when the Commodores held off the Gators, just like we did (and got caught skipping the lunch formation when the Pirates beat the mighty Yankees on Bill Mazeroski’s home run over Yogi Berra in left field of Forbes Field in 1961. And he will be by my side when the ‘Dores take on the Vols next Saturday.

Rest well, my friend.

Triple Play Replay: Introduction

 This is the first of a series of posts. The “triple play” in the title does not deal with baseball, in spite of the title. That title came to me in the middle of the night, as many ideas i think are too good to not record on a scrap of paper or this damnable machine they call a computer.

These posts are, in fact, about opportunities to tell folks about my book, Steel Decks and Glass Ceilings. They include my trip to Middle Tennessee, Newport, Rhode Island; and Boston, Massachusetts. They are as much about my return to times and places past as they are about my book. I have began composing them on my journey back home from my notes during the two-week adventure.

It seemed appropriate. I liked it.

The trip’s generation came from several conversations after my book was published.

Andrew Maraniss, the author of Strong Inside: Perry Wallace and the Collision of Race and Sports in the South and several other excellent books, had discussed many aspects of writing my book. with me during the process and suggested when it was published for me to come and present my book to Vanderbilt students.

Concurrently, Ed Hebert, a friend through golfing and a retired Navy captain, told me i should present the book to the Surface Warfare Officer School’s (SWOS) initial training (newly commissioned officers who are in the line of suvrface warfare attend to learn the basics of their new duties). Then, in an email exchange, Emily (Baker) Black, the Damage Control Assistant (DCA) during Yosemite ‘s 1983-84 deployment with me, also recommended i make a presentation to the SWOS training.

After that, Noreen Leahy, who was the operations officer on that deployment, was having lunch with her friend, Margaret (Peg) Klein, a retired two star admiral who is the dean of the “Leadership and Ethics” college at the Naval War College in Newport, Rhode Island. Noreen and Peg were in the second graduating class of the Naval Academy that included women. Peg read the book and set up my making a “presentation”Lecture of Opportunity” at the Naval War College.

Peg read my book and during ensuing discussions, the plan was set for me to do a “Lecture of Opportunity.

i was thrilled. The trip to Tennessee and then Rhode Island would launch my getting out to try and sell my book and also let me travel to four places i had yearned to visit for quite some time.

i’ve been trying to get back home to Lebanon, Tennessee for several years without success. Now i would get to stay with my boyhood friend, Henry Harding, and wife, Brenda. Even better, i would be staying In Henry’s home where he grew up and was my briar’s patch as Brer Rabbit had his. i spent almost much time in this home as i did my own up until i left town for good to attend Navy Officer Candidate School (OCS) in Newport.

i would be going to see Andrew Maraniss and a number of Vanderbilt friends. Andrew is the resident writer in the Vanderbilt sports department. He also is a writer for ESPN, and his other books include Games of Deception about the first U.S. men’s basketball team in the Olympics, Singled Out: The True Story of Glenn Burke, and the recently published Inaugural Ballers about the first U.S. women’s basketball team. i admire his writing and consider him a good friend.

Following that stop, i would be in Newport, Rhode Island, one of my favorite places on earth. Better yet, two of Yosemite’s officers who were with me on that deployment lived there. Even better, Linda Schlesinger, the ship’s stores officer followed by becoming disbursing officer and now lives in Carlsbad, was traveling there as well. It would be a mini-reunion of the wardroom. To add icing on the cake, Andrew Nemethy, who shared a stateroom with me on our first ship, USS Hawkins (DD 873), announced he would be traveling down from Vermont to spend some time with me.

And finally, i would cap off the fortnight trip with a weekend in Boston with my brother Joe and his family.

i was excited.

Following posts will address each of my three stops in more detail. To summarize, the trip was one of the most rewarding experiences i have had. It was flat wonderful.

Mr. Murphy and Me

Okay, folks., i am resurfacing my Murphy’s Law posts and thought for those of you who have not read my posts of how Mr. Murphy and i developed a relationship beginning over 43 years ago might appreciate them.

i was on a deployment to the Western Pacific as the Current Operations Officer on the Commander, Amphibious Squadron FIVE staff in autumn 1979. i received a package at the Subic Bay Naval Base before we left for a Hong Kong Christmas (undoubtedly the best Christmas i ever had away from family). i decided to wait until Christmas day to open my gifts received in the family package.

On Christmas Day, i opened my gifts. My Aunt Evelyn and Uncle Pipey (James) Orr had sent me a “Murphy’s Law” desk calendar. i was delighted after reading the first several days.

The staff would meet in the staff wardroom every day at 0800 except when in a liberty port or during a holiday routine. The commodore would sit at the head of the table. The chief of staff would be to his right and the operations officer would be at his right. The other officers would find the seats to their liking and the enlisted staff members would sit in the remaining seats or stand behind those seated.

The commodore would receive the status and updates beginning with the operations officer and continuing clockwise around the table, ending with the chief of staff comments, followed by the commodore’s thoughts on what had been reported and any news he wished to depart to to the entire staff.

Mike Peck, a lieutenant commander like me, who was our “tacron” officer and responsible for air control during squadron operations, and i conferred and decided we would sit next to the chief of staff and thus be the last ones to make a report since all of the staff who wanted to seem important sat where they could be one of the first to speak, by the time it got to Mike and me, there was nothing to say. Pete Toennies, a lieutenant and the UDT advisor assigned to staff for the deployment, recognized what we were doing and started to sit with us.

As i was reading my daily Murphy’s Law calendar entry in mid-January, i realized many of the laws applied to our staff. i was also beginning to feel a bit guilty about n1ot saying anything at the morning message meetings. The next day, i began reading my daily laws to the commodore and the staff. It was a big hit. The daily reading became a part of our message meetings until i left the staff in August of 1981 to become the weapons officer of the USS Okinawa (LPH 3).

As i began to read the daily calendar, i cut it out and taped the law onto my notebook sized yearly calendar. i filled up about a dozen of those calendars with Murphy’s Laws.

My Uncle Pipey (James Orr) passed away in 1990. i suspect he was the originator of my Christmas present. Aunt Evelyn continued to send them until dementia kept her from doing so. Their daughter, my cousin as close as a sister continued to send them for several years. Then i began to order them for special family and friends until they quit selling them about four years ago.

For a number of years, i would pull out my old calendars and post a Murphy’s Law. i did this in several ways. i missed them.

So, for you all of you, i once again give you a daily Murphy’s Law. They may not be daily, but they will be regular.

For today:

Murphy’s Law – Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.

Zero Stress Golf

It wasn’t planned. Not at all. It was a weekend i had been looking forward to for at least six months, if not a year. i had kept the weekend free from obligations for marketing my book to ensure this weekend was free: Thursday for travel, two days of golf with folks with whom i have golfed for two and a half score years, with Sunday free for recovery.

It didn’t turn out that way and, as with many things in my life, even the turn of events surprised me in a different way from what i expected.

Damnable arm.

Last Monday, the dermatologist looked at my arm and studied my record he held in front of him. “Don’t think we should wait,” he said authoritatively. When i got the biopsy report about a month ago, it didn’t sound bad, like melanoma bad. Some annoying little skin bump with a fancy name i told myself. i delayed the procedure until i returned from my wonderful trip back home with wonderful experiences at Vanderbilt and the Naval War College in Newport, Rhode Island, ending with a great weekend with my brother and his family in Boston.

So the doc’s reaction rather surprised me.

“Well, i’ve got this golf tournament out in the desert next weekend.” i explained, “It is a group with whom i’ve played golf with for a long time, and it is in honor of the guy who ran the whole things for years before he died several years ago. Couldn’t we wait a week?” i pleaded.

“Being a golfer, I understand,” Doc Hardy responded, giving me a glimmer of hope. “But,” dashing that hope glimmer, “It’s already been put off longer than it should have been,” sealing my fate.

Now concerned, I asked what i did not wish to hear answered, “Can i still play?”

Doc went into a detailed explanation comparing my situation to a twin-screw ship losing an engine. i knew, in spite of holding a thread of hope, the next exchange was not going to turn out well for golfing. After his explanation, he gave me a chance, “We’ll move up the change of dressing to Thursday morning. We can make a final decision then.”

i was not overjoyed.

i conferred with the rest of my foursome. They reassured me i should do what is prudent, something they and my wife knew was not a forte of mine. The new leader of the group, Jim Hileman, who shared Padre season tickets with me for twenty years or so, told me they could work it out if i didn’t play, but i should attend regardless. i thanked them all.

Thursday morning. The medic , Edward Perez, a retired submarine riding corpsman, took the dressing off my arm. Now, mind you, the cut was about the size of a quarter but pretty deep — i chose to not to look close enough to know just how deep — the sutures seem to crisscross several times, the bandage applied ran from the base of my hand to my elbow. When the elaborate dressing was removed, it looked as if we had somehow been teleported from the Mohs surgery room to a butcher shop.

“You can chip and putt,” Doc said, “But no full swings. Too much stress on the wrist. Could pull the stitches out. We would have to start over,” he said with his best clinical face on.

i said, “i want to do what won’t make the situation worse.” i’m thinking, “These guys are very conservative, as they should be, but when i get there, i can try out a few swings and check it out.” i didn’t tell them, but they both knew. i knew they knew.

Friday morning came, and i had not made a final decision until i was walking down the stairs from the pro shop to the carts. It hit me the stress would come when i cocked my wrists at the top of the backswing. That is when i decided i wouldn’t play.

i informed the group. They, again, were supportive. i putted a bit before they teed off. i fore-caddied, i pin tended, i looked for lost balls, i held clubs while our three players chipped or putted. i laughed with them. i cheered for them. i drank a few beers.

We finished respectfully, winning a few, losing a few.

There were six groups, two with just three players. In its heyday, the San Diego Telephone Company Golf Association, loving referred to as San Diego TELCO, had to limit members to 100. Year ending tournaments were first class, big prizes, lots of door prizes, big tournament dinners at the conclusion. Members retired and moved. Some experienced accidents or illness and could no longer play. Some passed away. A few new folks joined but not enough to stem the tide.

Art Fristad and others like Marty Marion, Phil Greco, and my friend Jim Hileman, kept it going: monthly tournaments at different courses in the Southwest corner. The numbers continued to dwindle. Monthly tournaments went away. The association remained an official entity. And yearly, those that remain are out in the desert, playing fun games for two days.

The tournament is now named The Art Fristad Desert Classic. That is as it should be. It is really a statement about a group of men from an accomplished, successful past. We are not politically correct. We are together. Politics, religion, and other differences do not matter. Friends. Competitors together. Laughter. At each other. At ourselves. Good stuff. We are what i hope is not a vanishing breed.

And Thursday and Friday, i experienced zero stress free golf. i did not have to worry about my next shot. i did not think about what i should or shouldn’t do. i’m not a very good golfer, but i love to play. i don’t have a lot of interest in walking around a course with a bunch of guys hitting the ball that is beyond my limited capability. i’d rather be banging it around a course myself. But this weekend, i found watching my friends play the game i love a great experience. i rejoiced at their good shots. i moaned at their miscues. i laughed at their really goofy moments.

It was a great and different experience. You should try it sometime.

Thanks, Jim Hileman, Pete Toennies, Jeff Middlebrook, and all of those in San Diego TELCO Golf Association.