Once several decades ago
there was a boy named Bart,
who was as ugly as a fart.

(How, you ask, can i know
a fart is ugly; but it is so:
i have not seen one,
but i’ve heard and smelled one:
they must be ugly, it must be;
they’d be ugly if we were allowed to see.)

So back to this guy named Bart,
who was as ugly as a fart,
Bart also was the clumsy sort,
beyond awful at every sport;
the girls went after the handsome heroes,
not after boys who, like Bart, were zeroes.

So Bart came up with a plot
to get girls to chase him who were hot;
he turned his baseball cap around,
showing all the handsome boys in town;
Bart told them it was cool to wear
a cap backwards and showed them where;
a few copied Bart, then there were many
who turned their caps around like a ninny.

Of course, now all the boys looked funny,
with caps backwards burning faces when sunny;
the girls saw this fad and were confused;
they did not know what to think of Bart’s ruse.
So now, the girls go after all the guys
wearing caps backward as if they were wise.

They even started dating Bart
who remained ugly as a fart.