From my “Murphy’s Law” desk calendar archives thanks to Aunt Evelyn, Uncle Pipey, and cousin Nancy:

Trischmann’s Paradox: A pipe gives a wise man time to think and a fool something to put in his mouth.

Goofy guy’s admission  about Trischmann’s Paradox: Flummoxed by the paradox and unable to figure out which i was, i gave up on pipe smoking before i turned thirty.