Category Archives: Sea Stories

Fairly self explanatory, from what I can remember that is.

A Tale of the Sea and Me – A Joke

There once was a young ensign fresh from his commissioning at the Naval Academy. He reported to his first ship and on his first turn to have the conn, every one, especially the CO, was surprised at this ship handling skills. He seem to be able to put his ship wherever he wanted and could stop it on a dime, one of the more difficult skills of ship handling.

Several junior officers had noticed him in his stateroom opening the top drawer of his storage locker and looking intently at something in the drawer. He then went to the bridge and performed his magic.

These skills continued and he was quickly promoted throughout his career. Crew and officers alike would stop to watch him handle his ship. More of them noticed before going to the bridge, he would go to his stateroom, open the top drawer of his locker and look at something intently.

He was early promoted a number of times, and even after he made flag, CO’s would ask him to display his ship handling skills. He would politely comply and again demonstrate his incredible skills. The steward who attended to the admiral’s cabin also noted the admiral would return to his cabin open the top drawer of his dresser and stare intently at something before going to the bridge.

Finally, the admiral retired. As soon as he left his flagship, as many officers as possible led by the captain rushed to the flag cabin, ran to the dresser and opened the top drawer. There was a a 3×5 white card, the only thing in the drawer. Hand written on the card in large letters were the words:

PORT LEFT ——- STARBOARD RIGHT

A Tale of the Sea and Me – Perhaps the Best Ever Sea Story

At one point of Naval history, there were commanding officers who shied away from involvement in the operation of the engineering plant. They left that solely to the engineer. i was the Chief Engineer or CHENG on a ship with such a CO after this story occurred.

On this particular Atlantic Navy destroyer in the Atlantic, the captain was of that makeup. His CHENG ran a great engineering operation. Even though he was somewhat of a crazy guy, the captain would laugh at his antics and let him run his department without interference.

This ship was independently steaming in the Navy’s Atlantic Operation Areas off of Newport, Rhode Island. CHENG had the mid-watch (0000-0400) as the Officer of the Deck (OOD). After about two hours, he was a little bored and decided to do something a bit different.

First, he switched steering control to after steering. Then, he ordered the bridge watch to the flying bridge, one deck above the pilot house. He directed the lookouts on the port and starboard bridge wings also to move to the flying bridge. He checked the bridge out and ensured it was empty.

It was 0200. The captain was sleeping in his sea cabin, which was just aft of the pilot house/bridge on the starboard side. CHENG, the OOD, ordered the Boatswain Mate of the Watch (BMOW) to make an announcement over the 1MC (the ship’s announcing system) and immediately return to the flying bridge.

The BMOW said “Aye, aye, sir,” and knowing boatswainmates, i’m betting he was loving it.

He descended to the 1MC speaker, piped “attention” on his boatswain’s pipe, announced. “Captain to the bridge,” in an excited voice and immediately climbed the ladder to the fourth deck afterwards.

For those who don’t know, such an announcement connotes an emergency situation when the captain is immediately required to handle an impending disaster. Normally, during the evening watches when the captain is in his sea cabin, the OOD would communicate with him via a sound tube — and that device created some sea stories of its own.

So, calling the captain to the bridge at 0200 on the 1MC is only when peril is upon the ship, which it wasn’t in this situation. But the captain didn’t know that. So he jumps from his rack, perhaps jumped into his trousers, but more likely just rushed through his door to the bridge in his skivvies.

He burst onto the bridge and found…Nothing. No one was there.

i am amazed that 1) he didn’t have a heart attack, and 2) when he found out the joke was on him, he did not fire, or kill his CHENG.

The tellers of this tale swore the captain laughed and did not punish the CHENG/OOD.

To this day, i keep trying to envision a destroyer captain bursting on the bridge to handle some dire emergency to find his bridge empty.

From the Sea: a very short story

The old wooden skiff with a small outboard motor cut ripples through the bay’s glassy sea. The old steamer with discolored paint on the hull and even a few spots of actual rust with the resultant line trailing down to the waterline and black keel stood like a ghost ship in the gray fog, anchored in the middle of the bay with the hills silhouetted along the channel framing the open sea beyond.

Hake Wilson, an old man in a worn Navy pea coat, maneuvered the skiff to the head of old creosote wood pier. He climbed the ladder and slowly ambled toward the foot of the pier. His gait was altered from past injuries. The collar of the pea coat was up. He wore an old Navy watch cap. He was not in a uniform, just wearing the stuff men wore at sea. Hake’s salt and pepper hair was long, hanging out from under the watch cap.

At the foot of the pier waited Ulyana Bondar and the young girl. They were similarly cloaked in gray wool hooded long coats. The girl, perhaps nine or ten, had a brightly colored wool shawl wrapped around her neck and protruding from the coat. The hoods were thrown back and both the woman and the girl wore tasseled wool caps, the girl’s matching her shawl. The wind coming off the bay was biting cold.

The old man Hake leaned over and placed a kiss on Ulyana’s cheek. It was a note of respect for her and something that happened long ago. Next, he picked up the girl in his arms and walked out the pier stopping about half way. Hake kneeled down and looked the young girl in the eye, holding her shoulders.

“Child, I only came by to see you. It would be my greatest joy to spend every day, every moment with you as you grow up. But your mother is taking good care of you, and she needs you. I have been called to help some folks. I thought it was over, that I had helped enough, but I have been called away again. I must go. I don’t know when i will get back. My greatest wish is for you and your mother to be comfortable and as happy as you can be. Remember i love you. You should always try to do the right thing, even when it’s difficult. If you do, things will turn out all right.

“I love you.”

Hake picked the young girl up walked back to the foot of the pier, put her down beside Ulyana and repeated the kiss on Ulyana’s cheek, again out of respect.

The woman and the girl remained standing holding hands at the foot of the pier as Hake walked with his altered gait back to the head of the pier, climbed down the ladder, sat at the stern of the skiff, released the lines, and motored back to the steamer. The two remained as they watched Hake, barely visible now, climb the accommodation ladder, turn and wave at the gunnel as one long blast screamed from the ship’s whistle.

Then as the accommodation ladder was raised, the anchor came out of the water and was stowed in the hawse pipe as the ship began a slow turn before moving out to the channel and disappeared in the misty fog of the open sea.

A Tale of the Sea and Me – Sea Stories from Others, I

In 1961 in the Navy’s base in Mayport, Florida, the USS Meredith (DD 890) was nested with the USS Noa (DD 841), and the USS Stribling (DD 867). An ASROC booster in the Meredith’s launcher lit off, most likely due to the hot weather. It was duly reported as required, i am assuming as a “Broken Spear.” i do not know if it was a conventional or nuclear warhead because i cannot confirm or deny due to my oath of silence, not to mention i don’t know what weapons Meredith had on board.

i do know tugs came alongside, “ripped” the destroyer from the pier and took her to sea where the fire was put out. Incident over…but not quite.

The containers that held the ASROCs before they were loaded in the launcher looked like something you would lower into the ground at a funeral. Therefore, sailors called them “coffins.” News media learned of a problem and sent journalists to the base gate. Security would not allow them onto the base. They waited anxiously for any news when two sailors exited the gate on their way to liberty. The journalists began pelting them with questions. Not being on a ship that was involved, the sailors said they didn’t know what happened, but they heard they had brought several coffins aboard the Meredith. The evening news ran stories about possible deaths involving weapons occurred on a Navy ship earlier that day.

i don’t know if this was corrected by the deadline for the morning newspapers. But throughout my days of journalism, i remembered that story and made sure i had my facts write when writing a news story.

A Tale of the Sea and Me – Mystery Solved

The Hawkins (DD 873) returned to Mayport in mid-Spring 1969. My short lived and ill-thought out marriage, mea culpa, was officially over when i received the court filing. i was single again with a wonderful second floor apartment that looked directly across Easton Bay at The Breakers in glorious Newport.

Andrew Nemethy, Rob Dewitt and i went to many of the high points of the wonderful seaport town. Frequently, they were The Tavern, now gone, the space now occupied by a real estate office (sad), and The Black Pearl, which has grown and changed from its original purpose to serve as a pub for the guy who owned the two-masted schooner with that name docked on Bannister’s Wharf . And Mac’s Clam Shack on Thames next to a sailboat yard, which could deposit grit from the sandblasting into your stuffed quahogs, a most wonderful delight, before you played on one the first pong video machines.

But i was ready to meet someone that didn’t look like a sailor or Naval officer. i remembered the Salve Regina coed, my OCS roommate, Doc Jarden had invited to the dinner at my apartment before he went back to Norfolk and i went to Yorktown. But i could not remember her name. i just remembered what a delightful young woman she was and what a great laugh she had. i did recall the funny nickname given to her by Doc: “Kathy the Drunk.”

i looked up the phone numbers of each floor of the dorms at Salve Regina. i called two of them and asked if there was anyone there with the nickname of Kathy the Drunk. Neither produced any positive results. On the third call i made to a dorm floor phone and asked again, the young woman who answered gasped, laughed out loud, and shouted, “Kathy, someone on the phone wants to talk to Kathy the Drunk.

Kathy McMahon on the balcony of my snake ranch on Tuckerman Avenue in Newport, Rhode Island, techincally Middletown. The building in the background is the Newport Clambake Club.

Mystery solved. Her name is Kathy McMahon from Providence, Rhode Island. And thus began a marvelous relationship that continues today. Although there were a couple of times she had just a bit too much to drink, she definitely wasn’t a drunk but a serious student and delightful.

Kathy was a waitress at the Black Pearl, which meant i would go there even more. There, i once very quickly met and said hello to Frank Sinatra, who had gone a day sail with the owner of the two-masted schooner and the restaurant. i listened to Jody who dressed in a black and white sailor’s shirt, sang folk songs and was accompanied by the resident parrot. i also saw Count Basie’s drummer, who played solo gigs there for a week after the Newport Jazz Festival.

It was a glorious spring and summer while it lasted.

Another sea story was included. i was one of the four command duty officers on the Hawkins. The other three were department heads. Every fourth day, i stood the 24-hour duty with my section. We came up a neat plan, i thought. We asked Kathy, Irene and one or two other Salve Regina coeds to have dinner on board in the wardroom. Since i could not leave the ship, being responsible to the CO and XO for what happened while they were ashore, Ensign Chuck Miller and one of our other officers drove across town, picked them up, and brought them back to the Naval Station.

i was in the wardroom waiting, unaware i was about to be fooled. The quarterdeck Officer of the Deck, Miller, and i’m pretty sure LTJG’s Nemethy and Dewitt had something to do with the scheme. i was unaware the OOD turned off all of the outside speakers, something that is just not done. But that was part of the plan. As the party walked over the brow, the quarterdeck watch rang the ship’s bell two times and announced, “Kathy the Drunk, arriving” — The president and top two admiral ranks get 8 bells rung when coming on board a Navy ship; the lower admiral ranks, 07-8, get six bells; Navy captains and commanders get four bells; and officers lieutenant commander and below get two bells rung.

Not knowing the exterior speakers had been turned off, i went into panic. My Navy career was about to be shorter, and i could not imagine how many admirals and captains were going to chew my ass on my way out. The entourage came into the wardroom just as i was about to head to the quarterdeck. They all laughed and explained what they had one.

Then i laughed.

Much to my regret, as well as every officer and sailor on board, Hawkins changed homeport to Norfolk in July. My last six months aboard had sea stories of their own. Yet, there will always be a part of me in Newport.

Andrew Nemethy and i drove up to Boston that autumn to see Kathy and Irene (i think), who had a flat while attending Boston University. It was a wonderful weekend and i remember sitting on the stoop on a Sunday morning listening to the stereo someone had put on their window sill. Creedence Clearwater Revival was blasting “Willie and the Poor Boys” all over the block.

Kathy obtained her doctorate and is now Professor Emerita at the University of Miami, Ohio. She remains an incredible woman and she still has that laugh.

It was good to be alive.