From my “Murphy’s Law” desk calendar archives thanks to Aunt Evelyn, Uncle Pipey, and cousin Nancy:

Hartley’s First Law: You can lead a horse to water, but if you can get him to float on his back, you’ve got something.

Goofy guy’s comment on Hartley’s First Law: i wish i had a horse that could do that, but then i would have to have a horse, which would be fun, too expensive, and my wife would want to make him a house horse.

From my “Murphy’s Law” desk calendar archives thanks to Aunt Evelyn, Uncle Pipey, and cousin Nancy:

Eleventh Law for Naive Engineers: If more than one person is responsible for a miscalculation, no one will be at fault.

Goofy guy’s addition to the Eleventh Law for Naive Engineers: This law is also true for political groups unless there is someone from the other party involved..

From my “Murphy’s Law” desk calendar archives thanks to Aunt Evelyn, Uncle Pipey, and cousin Nancy:

The Cardinal Conundrum: An optimist believes we live in the best of all possible worlds. A pessimist believes this is true.

Goofy guy’s disagreement with The Cardinal Conundrum: Considering our current state of affairs, i must be an opti-pessimist.

From my “Murphy’s Law” desk calendar archives thanks to Aunt Evelyn, Uncle Pipey, and cousin Nancy:

Stenderup’s Law: The sooner you fall behind, the more time you will have to catch up.

Goofy guy’s validity check of Stenderup’s Law: i could not check since i’ve always been behind and never caught up. 

From my “Murphy’s Law” desk calendar archives thanks to Aunt Evelyn, Uncle Pipey, and cousin Nancy:

Denniston’s Law: Virtue is its own punishment.

Denniston’s Corollary: If you do something right once, someone will ask you to do it again.

Goofy guy’s Extension of Denniston’s corollary: …and again and again and again.