Begun last night; finished tonight:

No, i wasn’t on a ship, but it felt a little like it. Like the evening watch, 2000 to 2400.

i had read about tonight’s lunar eclipse. i have seen several partial eclipses in my time. i’ve been around a number of solar eclipses, but never saw much sense in looking at a light so powerful it could ruin my eyes, even with filters or  pinholes in cardboard or whatever. i’m a little shy on the eclipse viewing scale, so i thought i would check this one out.

i left my chair by the hearth and a warm fire and wandered into the night. As with standing watches back in my day, i turned off the lights. Darken ship. Night vision. i had binoculars, not as heavy or as powerful as the olive green ones which used to hang around my neck, but it sort of felt like those other days. i was dressed warm enough for what is call cold in the Southwest corner: mid-fifties. i had on a tee shirt under a blue chambray cotton shirt — ahh, the best working uniform a sailor ever had, so we ditched them for all sorts of less useful things but the coveralls and who would want to dress like a submariner? Over the shirt, i had pulled on a green hoodie. It made me think of the best jacket ever made: the Navy’s drab olive green foul weather jacket. Oh, how i have often wished it had been part of my personal seabag, not an issue for ship wear. i could have used one about a gazillion times since i left the sea.

Earlier, the weather prognosticators had predicted rain, which meant cloudy skies, which meant this would be a bust. The rain however slid north as it often does. The clouds were thin and sparse. Looking up at the full moon, i knew i would be okay on that point. The bright beauty of the super full moon rises just a tad south of dead east in this neck of the woods and climbs in an arc diagonally over our home. It would be at about a sixty or seventy degree angle south by southeast  from our back yard when the eclipse occurred, perfect to view from the uncovered patio at the back of our yard proper. In this neck of the woods, when it would occur, the moon would be smack dab in the middle of the constellation Cancer the crab. The twins, Gemini would be at 11:00 from both on the direction clock of the sky.

i was out early. It looked like there was a stray wisp of a cloud covering the bottom of the moon. Initially, i was disappointed until i realized it was the shadow of the earth. The eclipse was beginning. i sat from around 2220 until around 2250, in a patio chair, not the captain’s chair on the starboard side, mind you, but in the XO’s chair on the port side, my ultimate, final location. Appropriately. Maureen and Sarah wandered in an out. It takes patience to watch an eclipse and for a rare time in my life, patience was in my approach. Sarah brought out my telescope Maureen gave me one Christmas, which i vow to use prolifically each year and either give up because of the complexity or my clumsiness or simply never get to it. We could not get the big scope to work. Now i have another to-do on my list. We shared the two sets of binoculars for…oh, about ten minutes.

They went inside around 2240. i remained a while, looking skyward, looking at the heavens, checking Castor and Pollux, the twins of Gemini, before returning my gaze to the darkening moon. It was not “blood red” here, but i could make out a tint of red.

No matter. As i peered at the heavens, i was taken back to being at sea, on the bridge of a ship with a star to navigate by and then further back when the Egyptians, the Greeks, the Romans, and probably every other group of humans in the world at the time, without our seemingly limitless knowledge (Remember: Mose Allison intoned, “…I’ve been sitting around thinking about ultimate knowledge and such//The smartest man in the whole round world really don’t know that much//Well ain’t that just like living, blame it on your wife/Ain’t that just like living – what ever happened to real life?) and those folks back thousand of years ago awed by the vastness of the universe they didn’t know, making their sense of it.

And, as i did on the rushing Cumberland River in a fishing boat, then so many times at sea, and letting the petrified chunks of wood roll through my fingers as my nine-year old daughter Blythe frolicked in the Petrified Forest, and in the Christmas Eve service when they sing “Silent Night” with the lights off and each of the congregation holding candles aloft, i got this feeling inside, warm and calm, not induced, not invoked by someone else, but there: peace.

And wondering: why, oh why can’t we rise above our pettiness, our selfishness, our need for confirmation of our worth at the expense of others when we are so insignificant in so many ways, yet so much a part of this whole thing far beyond what we can discern even now with all of the knowledge we have gained along with (“the smartest man in the whole round world,” we really don’t know that much. And the thing that separates us from the animals and all else is this idea of humanity, going beyond the instinctual self preservation to be humane, kind to others, true justice seeking.

And it matters not, i think as i go inside in the chill of the night as the eclipse begins to wane. It has to be me, or you if you prefer, who chooses to live in the spirit of what i felt, a oneness in the vastness of it all, a mariner with his stars and his Cancer and his Gemini and his star to navigate by, to live as well as one can, knowing what is right deep inside just as the feeling that i felt then and now.

It is time to be human, real, kind, in peace.

For 75, it was a good day.

Southwest corner weather has been like old Southwest corner weather. i used to say sometime between November and March, we would have thirty days of rain and cloudy weather with enough of our typical 8 out of 10 rated weather to keep us satisfied. That has not been the case in the last five or six years or so. Now, we’ve been into about three weeks of that old time winter weather but a mild Santa Ana crept back in for our Friday Morning Golf (FMG: since it’s been happening since 1991, it has acquired its own acronym) and the beauty of San Diego winter weather remained for my birthday. Symbolic? i think not. After all these years, i remain amazed at how our green time of the year is January and February. By March , the hills and open areas are beginning to turn brown again and pretty much stay that way the rest of the year. Yesterday every time i would look at the hills, i would think of my father who, like me, always marveled at the green of Southwest corner winter.

We had lunch with our nephew Mike Boase at City Taco in old La Mesa, a wonderful hole-in-the-wall diner, looking like it might be a chain but isn’t, with unique and extremely good tacos of all sorts, great sides, an outdoor sitting area in the back, and, of course, Pacifico Beer, my favorite from all of those from South of the Border although the memory of my father and father-in-law taking a break with me and enjoying Dox Equis Amber out of my long gone half refrigerator just for beer in the garage puts Dos Equis right up there. We had a delightful conversation and catching up with Mike, a good soul. As with many others, i vowed to make such get togethers more frequent.

Then we met Sarah at the Zoo. And in the middle of Africa Rocks with the baboons having a group fight in the background, my daughter Blythe and grandson Sam conversed with us via Facetime, the highlight of my day.

The zoo, my long time favorite place to go, was right up there on the good of the day. We covered at least five miles and it seemed nearly all of the animals were to be seen rather than hiding from sight as many do during daytime visits. The San Diego Zoo has been a mainstay in my world since i first came here to live in 1975. i took Blythe there every chance i had. Later, when Blythe stayed in Texas, the zoo was always at the top of our lists when she visited. Sarah and i began our treks in the early nineties. She is now an aficionado and is pretty much our tour guide when we go.  And in addition to marveling at the beauty of the beasts, i have many memories to wander through my mind about special times there.

We finished our day at The Rose. It has become our go to place for special occasions, birthdays and anniversaries. Superb cooking, superb wine offerings, superb atmosphere, and superb customer service. We sit at the bar. They even gave us a special berry and apple tart topped by homemade strawberry ice cream gratis with a candle on top.

i came home to televised sports and an early bedtime.

It was a wonderful day for an old man.

This morning, they were forecasting rain moving in by late afternoon, pretty much assuring we won’t be able to observe the “Super Blood Moon” lunar eclipse this evening.” Too bad. It would have been a good end to a birthday weekend.

So it is time to move on. It is time for the next quarter of a century or however long i last. i plan to be a little bit different: doing all i can do and not doing things i shouldn’t, recognize my limitations and my possibilities, leaving my grandson, not to brag about my accomplishments (which seem pretty average to me right now) but to give him some examples of living from which he might learn something to do or something to not do — i will not tell him those things: that is for him and his parents to figure out.

And you know what?

Life goes on.

It’s different, this letting go thing.

i mean, i’m 75, three-quarters of a century old. Today.

It’s time to do what i think i should do for the rest of my life. Part of that is letting go.

For example, this was originally a long, long post detailing a whole bunch of stuff that i think is important, why i think it’s important and with long-winded explanations. This was supposed to be my epilogue on reaching what i consider officially old age. It kept growing. i finally recognized it would not have much impact, only allow me to blow off steam and feel good about me. This is pretty close to, excuse the French, bullshit. i tossed it.

A whole bunch of people my age spend a lot of time grousing about how much better they are than the younger generations because of the way they, the older ones like me, grew up. Balderdash. After all, who raised those who grew up later: the grousers. And the world is a whole lot different now, not better or worse unless we make it. Our time doesn’t apply.

And folks of all ages are out witch hunting, Victorian style, policing what we say, how we act, finding everything wrong with everyone else, both sides, drawing lines in the sand because everyone knows they are right, everyone else is wrong, winner take all, no quarter, change everything to benefit ME.

That’s why, by the way, i use lower case for “i.” If i were to capitalize a pronoun it would be “You” or “Us.”

In elementary school, i was taught the Communists believed the ends justified the means and we believed in the ends could not justify the means. We were taught to do it right. That is the one thing we should have maintained, but didn’t.

i’m just sort of tired of it all. You can have it. i don’t want it.

So folks, it’s my time to let go. i am not likely to make it to the century mark. My physical and mental skills are declining. So i’m gonna write what i want to write and do what i want to do as long as i can do it, and hopefully give some people some things to think about in a positive way.

After all, i can do what i want to do. i’ve been around three-quarters of a century. i deserve that for myself.

Happy Birthday, old man.

After my post, “A Different Take” about “The Wall.” i have received several comments from friends who are for building the wall. Their reasons vary but all are logically thought out. i also discussed this with my golfing buddies yesterday after our round (beer, of course, included).

i think my most salient point from that post is a grossly underestimated cost (in many ways). In my latest discussion with my friend Jane Couch Boyer, we considered the problem again. Below is a redacted version of that exchange after Jane sent me a video of the Texas Attorney General claiming his statistics show El Paso’s wall works because of high crime rates in Ciudad Juarez and a huge decrease in crime rates in El Paso.

Hmm, statistics from very political Republicans. Hmm, i’ve seen similar “statistics” claims of just the opposite from very political Democrats. So i’m not going to argue political statistics period. After i watched that video, here is our discussion (Thanks, Jane):

Me:
No, they (border walls) don’t. They intimidate. They get the fervor up. We have the technology to keep anyone from crossing the border illegally much more effectively and much less expensive than a wall. Satellites, GPS, drones, video systems, and weapons that can immediately eliminate illegal entry. This (the wall) is a purely political position, once endorsed by the Democrats and opposed by the Republicans. If we want to stop illegal entry, then give me and a couple of my SEAL and SPAWAR friends (and one very savvy former Army artillery guy who was at the cutting edge of using the available technology above) the mandate with no restrictions and we can do it.

Jane:
I like your solution. Do you think a couple of you could cover the entire border?

Me:
i suspect it would take about a hundred of us. But if it became a government project, it would require an additional five or six thousand.

Just sayin’…

Salt and pepper. Sugar and spice. Ham and eggs. Hot and cold. Left and right. Biscuits and gravy. Bogey and Bacall. Abbot and Costello. Burns and Allen. Lewis and Martin. Roy and Dale and Trigger and Bullet.

And then there are my couples, two folks who hooked up and have, not only stayed together, but have become as much of a match as the pairs listed above. There is no way i could list all of those i know, but here are some who stand out in my mind:

My folks: She told her mother when she was a sophomore-to-be in high school who she was going to marry. He was in bib jeans, no shirt, walking home to Spring Street after helping his father doing daily maintenance at Lebanon High School. She was visiting her mother. Granny was working 24-7 as a nurse, or what we now call a care-giver, in a home on North Cumberland Street, east side. As he was walking down the hill approaching the house, she tugged at her mother and had her come to the porch. As he walked by, she told her mother that was the man she was going to marry. Six years later, she did. They were not rich, far from it. He was working at Hankins and Smith by 1938, a mechanic if not already the shop supervisor for $13 a week. She had taken a job as a teller for Commerce Union Bank for $22 a month. She also was helping several businesses with their book keeping to supplement their incomes. They never stopped working. They did all right by my measure. They never stopped loving. And they were complimentary to each other’s expertise and their personalities. Yeh, they are tops on my couples list.

My daughter Blythe and her husband Jason Gander. i said it when i made my toast at the reception after their wedding they had the best chance of anyone i knew to matching her grandparents as a couple. They are doing pretty well at it. She met him when she was visiting us in the Southwest Corner. He was a sailor, an aviation boatswainmate on the USS Tripoli. They fooled around for a couple of years after he got out and went back to Kansas, but apparently, he couldn’t stand it and moved to Austin to be with her. It worked. They have an amazing son, Sam, my grandson.

Then there’s Eddie and Brenda Callis. High school sweethearts. Lasted a long time. They play gin rummy every day. She is still winning. They take care of a lot of people in many ways. Brenda is the daughter of my father’s boss, later partner. We’ve known each other a long time, even longer than either of us have known Eddie. No matter. They are rather spectacular.

Henry and Brenda Harding. Married late. Didn’t matter. They have a relationship as strong, if not stronger than anyone i know. i met Henry at our Christening several years ago. Feel like i know him like a brother. Heck, he is my other brother. Every time i see them, which is far too infrequently, i marvel at the strength of their relationship.

Marty and Linda Linville. They too were high school sweethearts, marrying while he was going to college and playing football. Long lasting. Strong. i smile every Friday morning when i see Marty park before our Friday morning golf round. He calls her to see how she is doing and to let her know he got there safely.

Pete and Nancy Toennies. i really can’t tell who made which decision. They are synergistic. Met out here when Pete was a new Navy SEAL and she was a nurse. He’s from New York City. She is from Southwest Tennessee/Northwest Mississippi and the Florida panhandle. Doesn’t matter. Perfect.

There are many others. i won’t go into my thoughts about Maureen and some goofy guy. i’ve pretty well covered that and undoubtedly will do so again. Although we were later: she was 33; i was approaching 40. Been a pretty amazing ride these last 35 years.

The impetus in writing about couples is one other set of them. Thinking about these two set me off about considering couples.

Buddy and Beverly Phillips. Buddy fell in love with Beverly sometime around junior high, i think if not earlier. He waited patiently for several years. He was rewarded. It does not matter how long they have been married (it’s a long time). When i see them, it makes me feel warm inside. The world got something right when they matched up.

Beverly has been having some health problems again. She beat it the first time. With the strength of their love, i’m thinking she’s going to beat it again. That would make me feel better. After all, they are a couple. A real perfect couple.