A good slogan can stop analysis for fifty years.
All posts by Jim
Gremlins Redux
I have written and spoken often of the gremlins that inhabited the evaps (distilling plants) when i was the CHENG (Chief Engineer) of the USS Hollister (DD 788). i fervently believe they leapt onto my shoulders when i was relieved and been with me ever since 1975.
These past few days, they were in the mood for financial pranks. Several weeks ago, my debit card for our primary financial instrument, a credit union, mysteriously turned up missing. i have no idea of how it got out of my wallet. i think the gremlins might have had something to do with it.
So i ordered a new debit card. It came about a week ago. i used it at the ATM when i chose to withdraw some cash, choosing one of two of our checking accounts. Then, i went through the same drill this weekend, only to have no option on which checking account to effect the transaction. Puzzled, i went to the institution’s office today to inquire.
Two of the four stations were manned by very pretty young women dressed to the nines. The one who invited me to her station, smiled and was very efficient. i explained the option of choosing the check account for the withdrawal had not been available. She smiled and explained that was not an option, that each card was for one checking and one savings account. When i pointed out i had been given the option to choose between accounts for, oh since i got a debit account over 15 years ago, she politely insisted that wasn’t possible, she consulted the other teller who agreed with her: one checking account, one savings account for each card.
i then wondered how i had that option since forever and said it must be because i’m old (i’ve been a member since 1968). She laughingly agreed that might be the reason. I told her she didn’t have to agree. She said, “The customer is always right.” We laughed.
Then she told me she could give me a debit card for the account i normally use for withdrawals. i agreed. She created the card, effected it, and instructed me to go outside and withdraw some money from the ATM, adding to come back and let her know if it didn’t work.
i went outside, started the process. The ATM asked me which account i wanted to use. i laughed, withdrew the money. i went back inside around the waiting lines and motioned to the young woman. When she acknowledged, i told her i just wanted her to know the ATM gave me both accounts for options. We both laughed. As i left, i told her that i think it’s because i’m old.
Those damn gremlins are laughing.
A Tale of the Sea and Me – The Good Ship Luce
i had some wonderful ships to sail on during my time at sea. Thirteen ships: five destroyers, two amphibs, three helicopter landing ships, two USNS troop ships, and one destroyer tender.
It is impossible to say one was better than the others. Each was different, each had its pluses and minuses. However, the USS Stephen B. Luce (DLG 7) was the right ship for me with the right Commanding Officer, the right Executive Officer, and the right Weapons Department head for me at right time. The only negative thing about the whole experience aboard her as the Anti-Submarine Warfare Officer was it was too short of a tour. Nine months.
After getting a night of much needed rest, i met most of the other officers in the wardroom at the morning mess. We set sea detail at 0730. i was just an observer on the bridge. We were immediately in the biggest naval exercise i experienced in my career. We had British, French, Greek, Italian, and Turkey navies involved across a large swath of the Mediterranean, moving east against an orange enemy. i was quickly qualified as officer of the deck (OOD) fleet steaming and was in a four-section watch. It felt good.
Many of the other navies had ships were formerly U.S. destroyers. They were old ships and those forces did not have the necessary maintenance expertise compared to the U.S. Fleet. This was most noticeable, and most annoying, in radio communications. As the other ships kept trying to get their radios to work properly, they were continuously conducting radio checks in English…okay, okay, it wasn’t really English; it was more like pidgin English, but the trills and accents of the various countries were included:
(Each ship had its own call sign using the phonetic alphabet; U.S. ships also had nicknames for call signs. The USS Hawkins’ call sign was “Daily News.” i do not remember the Luce’s call sign.)
“Delta Victor, Delta Victor, this is Charlie Whiskey, Charlie Whiskey , RADIO CHECK, RADIO CHECK, over.” “Charlie Whiskey, this is Delta Victor, roger, over.” Most of the time, the initiating ship did not receive the response, so this radio check thing went on incessantly. This seemed to occur on the evening, mid-watch, and morning watches.
Now, just think of the last call you had with a customer service representative, who was actually in Pakistan, or Ghana, or India, or somewhere in the Andes. Think of the difficulty of listening, then add those trills and guttural sounds to the broadcast.
If it hadn’t been so annoying, it would have made me laugh.
Ted Fenno, the XO was one of the nicest XO’s i ever met and was a huge help for me later as the head surface warfare detailer. He was one of the two best XO’s i had, the other being Louis Guimond on the Hawkins.
And then, there was CDR Butts. He was one of the top Commanding Officers during my career, and we got along very well. Before we returned to our home port i had become the sea detail and General Quarters OOD (except in ASW operations).
As the exercise wound down, we headed for Izmir, Turkey, our liberty port
i was not thrilled. After all, i had essentially missed Korfu, Greece. i have a romantic connection to the ancient civilization there and thought i had missed a wonderful opportunity to explore the Greek culture. As we went to anchor, we received a radio message from commander of the U.S. Navy forces. One of the Turkish destroyers was having multiple problems and needed assistance. i was appointed as the leader of the ad hoc team to visit the TCG Adatepe and do what we could to get the ASROC control panel and various radio gear.
The Adatepe was formely the USS Forrest Royal (DD 872), sold to the Turks in 1971. i thought it ironic in that the Forrest Royal‘s hull number had been only one number from my first ship the USS Hawkins, 872 to 873. The team of my first class ASROC gunners mate, the ship’s Electronic Technician warrant officer, a second class radioman, and me rode over to the Adatepe in the captain’s gig.
Coming aboard, we were met by the captain and XO. The warrant and i were taken to the wardroom, our enlisted team members were taken the enlisted mess. i was rather amazed at the lack of cleanliness throughout the ship, especially in the main passageway. We were offered espresso and took it. It was undoubtedly the strongest espresso i ever had. Apparently, it was very popular as there were bags of coffee beans piled around the wardroom.
After that thrill, the warrant was escorted to radio, and i to the ASROC Captain’s Control Panel next to the launcher amidships on the 01 level where i met my gunners mate. We discussed the problems through an interpreter with the ASW officer and his petty officer. Then, we opened up the top of the control panel. What we saw wasn’t pretty. Nearly the entire workings inside the panel were black, burnt. We both shook our heads and said we couldn’t make the panel operational. It would likely have to be replaced. i was taken back to the wardroom for more espresso where the warrant officer joined me. He had in his hand a round ceramic wafer, which was essential to the radio circuits. It was about the size of a half-dollar coin. Over a quarter of it was gone and where it was not, it appeared it was scorched.
We were disappointed we could not help and returned to the Luce. i wrote up the report. i went ashore for dinner, my only time in Turkey.
The next morning, we were underway. More MED sea stories to follow.
Meadow’s Maxim
You can’t push on a rope.
i heard a joke with this line as the hooker in the end of the joke. It was back in the Byzantium era. i loved it because it was a reverse racism joke. Unfortunately, racists and their opposites didn’t see the irony of it. i quit telling it. Sad.
Alone
i am alone.
Maureen is not here. Yeah, yeah, i know, it’s only five days. But the last couple of nights i felt alone.
i cooked my own meals, i did that for about six years a long time and am…er, capable, but i can’t find anything in the kitchen. The kitchen is hers now. i am a stranger.
i took care of her cats. They like me when she’s not here. After all, i feed them. They like me to give them a little attention, but it pales to their affection for Maureen.
Last night, i was sitting in the family room with only my reading light on. i put down the computer and just sat there thinking, reflecting, something i am not accustomed to doing although it has become more frequent in short moments as i age. As i reflected on life, i caught a movement across the room. It was likely just a reflection from outside. i started to talk to her. She was not there.
i make the bed in the morning, something she does as i am always up much earlier. The first morning, i started making her coffee before realizing she wasn’t there. We talk and text several times each day. i’m glad she’s having fun but it’s not the same here.
Finally, i fixed the hiccup in my get-a-long. She’s coming back Sunday. i conjured up a memory, when i was single again in College Station, Texas. As my former wife and i were struggling to cut the ties while minimizing the negatives for our young daughter. i had bought a small home. After my day at the NROTC unit at Texas A&M, i would change into my running gear, put the potatoes to bake in the oven, and then go on a five-mile run. When complete, i would feed the three-legged cat and the Old English Sheepdog. Then, i would pull out the cast iron hibachi, prep it with charcoal, light it, and close it for the funnel effect to get the coals roaring. i would take a shower, clean up, put the steak on the hibachi and make a salad. Toast with butter and a glass of wine completed the meal. i was in a good place and didn’t know it.
So tonight, i did some modifications from about seven years of bachelorhood before Maureen and i were wed. i cut corners by buying a grocery deli potato salad rather than baking a potato. i was tired of beef, so i grilled a pork chop, with the jim jewell marinade, which will never be duplicated since i won’t remember what sounded good to me tonight. A salad, sautéed mushrooms and onions for the pork chops, Maureen’s incredible bread, toasted with butter completed the serving with a delightful zinfandel.
i still got it.
But i still miss her.