Back in wonderful, magical Watertown, New York in 1970, i gained a close friend named Earl Weideman. He was a teacher in the town where his family were long time residents. i was a sports writer and then sports editor of The Watertown Daily Times.

Somehow, we connected, probably through John Johnson, my Vanderbilt friend who got me my job, and then Earl and i ran around together frequently. He and i met for drinks at a nice bar downtown when i was accosted by a young woman when she found out i had taken part in the pizza rating contest two writers had conducted and written about in the paper. She was distressed that her favorite pizza joint finished last. We had to leave the bar. The story had run six months earlier.

Earl was the guy who celebrated the birth of my daughter Blythe with me. Back then, the dad was not allowed in the delivery room. They rolled Kathie out with Blythe just after she was born at 9:35 p.m. After i spent a brief time, all that was allowed, with them, i met Earl for a celebratory drink, which lasted way too long into the morning.

Shortly before Blythe was born, Earl took Kathie and me by boat out to the island his family owned in the Thousand Islands chain at the confluence of Lake Ontario and the St. Lawrence River. Earlier in the year, he had offered to drive us out to the island on the ice that formed each winter. i declined and probably would have done it the next winter, but my life had changed course, and i was back in the Navy before the next winter.

This photo was taken in front of the cabin’s fireplace. i am imitating Art Metrano, the deranged magician who frequently performed on “The Tonight Show” humming “Fine and Dandy” while displaying his fingers as if they were jumping from one hand to the other.

Earl was a perfect little goofy for being a school teacher. i wanted to remain his friend and stay in contact because he was so much fun and good hearted. But the Navy and life away from Watertown took over. We lost contact even though i thought about him a lot.

So when i was scanning this photo for filing and organizing, i decided to look him up on the internet. Earl died in 2005 after retiring two years earlier from his teaching position at Beaumont (California) High School. i could have been spending time with him easily as Beaumont is about eighty miles east of Los Angeles, roughly 120 miles from my home. His son apparently lives here in San Diego.

He has been gone almost a dozen years. i am suffering from delayed sadness. But boy, did we have fun together in Watertown a long time ago.

i won’t forget him.

Twenty years ago today, our families gathered together in the sanctuary of Central Christian Church in Austin. It was a perfect day for a perfect union.

The bride’s walk down the aisle was to Handel’s “Water Music.” i think Blythe chose it independently of it being one of my two favorite pieces of classical music.

The ceremony was beautiful with my brother Joe as the pastor and Blythe and Jason the bride and groom.

Later at  the reception as the father of the bride, i gave a toast predicting their marriage was a union much like Blythe’s grandparents’ marriage. Jimmy and Estelle Jewell became as one and lived that way for seventy-five years. Blythe and Jason, with the Samuel James Jewell Gander as an addition, have been in theirs for twenty years. Thus far, my toast prediction has held true. and i hope they make it together for seventy-five years. i actually think they will.

They are funny together and different. When they argue, it is wonderful to watch them make up. Their love and parenting for Sam is unparalleled makes one grandpa proud and sure Sam will succeed in his life because of their parenting and love.

It is simply wonderful to watch them together. As someone once said in one of the best films of all time: “Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”

Just oh so much more.

Congratulations you two. i love you.

papa

Very early this morning, i discovered my shipmate from the Hawkins, Rob DeWitt got up as early in Maine as i do in the Southwest corner.

He had seen my post with the photos from my Aunt Bettye Kate Hall’s album and remarked, “Simpler times.”

i replied on his Facebook comment, and then decided i wished to share it publicly in case his and my comments on the post were missed. My expanded response:

They were simpler times, Rob DeWitt, but we tend to remember the good things and forget the bad. Still this group of men and women, as i am sure your parents did also, had a much simpler, black and white, more straightforward approach to the world, couched in good principles. There was more disease, less knowledge, and underlying and often outright bigotry, and prejudice, and sometimes, to paraphrase Bob Seger, i wish i didn’t know now what they didn’t know then, but from here it seems they were closer to the right thing than we are today.

It seems to me that generation was truly the “Greatest Generation” as dubbed by Tom Brokaw. But i don’t necessarily apply that term for the war effort. i apply it for i believe their core belief of equality brought about our considering what equality for all really meant. They were a long way from it, but their innate goodness taught their children true right from wrong, leading to the next step. Even those with darker skins taught their children they deserved equality.

Our generation and those following us have drawn lines in the sand, digging in, ready to fight for OUR rights, not theirs. We are divided in every which way and there is no attempt to try and understand, “walk in the customer’s shoes” so to speak, or watch and listen to the underlying problems experienced by the other side. No one is willing to take his foot and brush away those lines in the sand.

Our generation, many of all persuasions saw a need to protest injustice. You, Andrew, and i were serving our country, meeting our obligation, and were consequently removed from that protest, but it was needed. It began an honest effort to rid us of inequality, but somehow, it has led to division, not unity.

Now it seems equality is pretty much described accurately by Mose Allison in his song “Mercy.” “Everybody’s crying justice, just as long as they get theirs first.”

As noted several times, i could not bring myself to vote for any of the four candidates. i did not trust any of them. My non-vote, i hoped in some small way, demonstrated my disappointment in the choices. My wife, daughters, and many others, are fearful of Trump becoming president. i am not. Why? i trust the system, the process.

We have swung back and forth in our politics since Jefferson’s Democratic Republicans and Hamilton’s Federalists sought for control of the system. If Trump holds firm on his ridiculous campaign promises, the system, the process, will take care of him. i suspect that will happen, and i hope if it does, the two parties will recognize the need to cooperate, not posture and continue to draw their stupid lines in the sand.

i don’t like the electoral college. It had its purpose, although that purpose is fuzzy to me. But it is our system and we must, must abide by it. Those who are now protesting are in effect saying they don’t desire to abide by our system. If they don’t, then they should leave or work to make the system better, work together so the process is better, not complain because they didn’t get what they wanted.

Yes, it was simpler times back in 1941. The country was uniting to defeat the threat to our freedom, and uniting was necessary to ensure that freedom. Now we have a bigger threat. No, even though ISIS and extremists from many cultures and religions, including ours are serious threats, our real threat was clearly predicted years ago by Pogo, the main character of Walt Kelly’s brilliant comic strip, when he declared:

“We have met the enemy and he is us.”

Still, these folks pictured in the Smoky Mountains in 1942 were wonderful, incredible people in simpler times. i like them better than what we have now. But then, i wasn’t there; i’m here. Perhaps my vision is blurred by the beauty of the memories.

But i will continue to try and live like they taught me.

i am working on my Tuesday column in The Lebanon Democrat, and will add more comments on my trip when the column is published. But here is evidence of a special moment. Pete Toennies and Jim and Sharon Hileman joined me for a barbecue at Deborah and Frank Kerrigan‘s wonderful home in La Quinta.

Jim, Pete, and Marty Linville are the three good golfers in our foursome for the San Diego Telephone Company Golf Association. We rendezvous in the desert in each year for the “Year Ender,” a two-day tournament of fun and games. Frank and Deborah kindly included us in their dinner with friends. Marty and Linda Linville were driving from San Diego and not being sure they would make it in time, i failed to ask them to join us.

There were some legends created at the dinner, which is pretty close to invariable when this foursome goes to the desert. But there was a very special moment for me.  After the great meal and lots of talk, Frank goes to the kitchen and comes back with two beers.

They were “Tusker” beers. Frank and i drank a number of Tusker beers together in Mombassa, Kenya in early 1984. It brought back special memories for me. As noted here earlier, Frank and i had a symbiotic relationship during those eight months of deployment to the Indian Ocean aboard the U.S.S. Yosemite (AD 19). That Frank remembered and actually found two Tusker beers in the desert was pretty remarkable.

Seems that symbiotic thing is still going on.

i watched the election results last night until i could stand it no more, going to bed with a stunned and sad heart.

i also kept thinking i might not have been stunned as much but i certainly would have been sad, just not quite as much.

i felt as i did when Johnson demonstrated he was not of presidential caliber and felt no trust for the other candidates: disenfranchised. That’s why Henry Harding was my write-in ballot. i could trust him

As we watched the results develop, my wife was in near tears, upset, that kind of upset when i know i must be calm and not try to persuade her to cheer up, not worry. She went to bed and read earlier than me because as Peter Finch’s character in Network shouted “I’m mad as hell, and I’m not going to take it anymore!”

This morning, i awoke early. My daughters, through their posts on the internet, were upset, rightfully so i thought. It seems, i’m sure, like a smack in the face for those who believe, out of the goodness in their hearts, that the last eight years have been good for the country. i sense they too do not need me to attempt to soothe their angry souls.

i don’t blame them. i am actually astounded any woman in this country could have voted for Mr. Trump.

As I write, Maureen is still sleeping. i am sitting in my office after completing my morning routine of making coffee, setting the table, cleaning up my mess from the night before, and retrieving the newspaper. As i drink my first cup of coffee, i have considered where we are and just how the hell are we going to deal with this.

First off, i’m not greatly concerned about Trump’s bombastic and ridiculous policy stances. Our good ole boys in the house and senate, regardless of party affiliation will take care of that, especially since a significant number of Republicans don’t like Trump one iota either. Jimmy Carter, with his goodness of heart and belief in taking care of people, had a disastrous presidency, primarily because he was an outsider. Trump is even more an outsider.

i am concerned about the overall picture. Having Republicans in control of both the house and the senate as well as the sitting president is like giving the children the keys to the candy store. i have maintained for a long time the best thing for our country is to have a split between parties in congress and the presidency. Of course, that was before the past sixteen years when the two parties dug in their heels with their lines drawn in the sand and cared more for their political well-being than the good of the country.

My hope is we, especially the politicians and their parties, will take this result as a demand for change, not some crazy endorsement of a homophobic, misogynistic, and xenophobic candidate (and whatever good intentions might be hidden behind that hairdo, Mr. Trump has certainly demonstrated those traits). Political business as usual needs to completely reinvent itself. Money and power need to take a back seat to common sense in moving forward for the good of the country.

As to our international relations, i’m not terribly concerned either. Our state department and foreign policy experts never have dealt well with foreign governments. It may get a little worse with Mr. Trump, but the checks and balances will not allow him to go too far afield. That’s something that adds to what makes this country great.

My greatest concern is that racism and bigotry were hidden agendas in the voting booth. Being an anglo-saxon male, i find anyone who treats people, regardless of race, religion, culture, or sexual preference, poorly or doesn’t allow them freedom, equality, and justice is a poor excuse for a human being. We have come a long way since our first presidential election when six percent of the population voted because it was limited to white male citizens. But we still have a long way to go. The bigots in this country who resort to violence as the cowardly church burners in Mississippi are no better than ISIS, maybe worse because they have had the opportunity to know better. We need to move forward on equality, not backward.

Unfortunately, legislation is required to right wrongs. It still is, but we all should consider legislating morality is a slippery slope. Morality, treating other people equally with respect is an individual responsibility. We each need to make sure we not only behave toward others in that regard but be the steward for equality. We have a vast, deep canyon to leap before we can achieve true equality.

But as i finish my second cup of coffee, i am hopeful, perhaps delusional, but hopeful we can take this surprise and learn. Perhaps, just perhaps, the two major parties, the independents, the lobbyists, the media, etc. may just say this sent a message we need to change and change for the betterment of the country and people who are citizens in this country.

i am hopeful, but not optimistic.

So my morning coffee drinking is complete. i will read the sports pages and the comics while having a wonderful egg, toast, and fruit breakfast courtesy of my beautiful wife, go work on my golf game for a while, pack for a weekend golf tournament in the desert, and see what tomorrow brings.