All posts by Jim

Henry the Hammer: A Good Man

When i heard yesterday afternoon, i choked back a few tears. Then i started checking out the news, the sports, the social media, and this morning, the newspaper.

He came from another era. He not only lasted but succeeded in becoming a legend, a history maker in the next era and the next.

i shall not try to add to the tributes for Henry Aaron, except two.

Today, driving to the VA for my first COVID vaccination, i heard a quote i thought captured what the man accomplished: Muhammed Ali once said that Hank Aaron was, “The only man I idolize more than myself.”

The other quote which has been replayed and quoted in writing numerous times after the sad news broke yesterday came from Vin Scully announcing the game for the Dodgers when the Atlanta Brave became the most prolific home run hitter in major league baseball and still holds that record if you don’t count the steroid enhanced performance of Barry Bonds. When Aaron hit his blast to go past Babe Ruth, Scully announced:

A Black man is getting a standing ovation in the Deep South for breaking a record of an all-time baseball idol. What a marvelous moment for baseball. What a marvelous moment for Atlanta and the state of Georgia. What a marvelous moment for the country and the world. And it is a great moment for all of us, particularly Henry Aaron, who was met at home plate by not only every member of the Braves, but by his father and mother.”

That pretty much tells how much this man meant to baseball, our country, and the world.

i have provided the link to today’s “Sean of the South” column. He covers the emotion better than i could. But even more impactful for me was the quote of Howie Bedell at the end of the column. It echoed how a number of other quotes have described Henry Aaron. It is also the description i found to be the best for my father, and what i hope will eventually be subscribed to me.

“…Hank Aaron was a good man.”

https://seandietrich.com/hank-aaron/

Thanks to Don Williams

About a thousand years ago, there was this part time dee jay at a small AM-day time/FM radio station in a small town in Tennessee working his way through college and running the AM side on Saturday and Sunday afternoons. One of the songs he played affected him deeply and he became enamored with the Pozo Seco Singers work. But he left for the sea and the Pozo Seco Singers albums were simply in his fairly large music library. Then later, in a very dark time in his life when what he had was no longer his, he discovered one of the Pozo Seco singers had become a single act, and the ex-dee jay, now a mariner heeded the songs of Don Williams with a deeper understanding.

Today, this old curmudgeon who used to be a dee jay and still longs to return to the sea was about to write about his dislike for big government, greed, politics, and the lack of respect for and understanding of others he keeps seeing in this world.

Then tonight, he went out to grill a kebob dish his wife had created. He took his bluetooth device and old iPod containing most of his music library,  a glass of an unpretentious red wine. As the grill  heated up, he selected the artist Don Williams on his iPod.

About half way through the grilling, Don Williams’ song came on that hit home for the former dee jay, the guy who had his life course altered in mid-course and was now a bona fide curmudgeon decided his rant wouldn’t do much good.

The song?

“I Believe In You”

The lyrics:

I don’t believe in superstars
Organic food and foreign cars
I don’t believe the price of gold
The certainty of growing old
That right is right and left is wrong
That north and south can’t get along
That east is east and west is west
And being first is always best
But I believe in love
I believe in babies
I believe in mom and dad
And I believe in you
Well I don’t believe that heaven waits
For only those who congregate
I like to think of God as love
He’s down below, he’s up above
He’s watching people everywhere
He knows who does and doesn’t care
And I’m an ordinary man
Sometimes I wonder who I am
But I believe in love
I believe in music
I believe in magic
And I believe in you
I know with all my certainty
What’s going on with you and me
Is a good thing
It’s true, I believe in you
I don’t believe virginity
Is as common as it used to be
In working days and sleeping nights
That black is black and white is white
That Superman and Robin Hood
Are still alive in Hollywood
That gasoline’s in short supply
The rising cost of getting by
But I believe in love
I believe in old folks
I believe in children
I believe in you
I believe in love
I believe in babies
I believe in mom and dad
And I believe in you.
And in case you would like to listen to song i consider one of my mantras:

An Impolitic Story About a Piano Player

I have been recording some off-color and impolitic posts here over the years, even recently. It has always bothered me that there are folks who read my stuff who might be offended. There are also a bunch of folks like me who find these things funny with no intent to insult or offend anyone.

So this afternoon, it struck me there could be a way to warn the more sensitive (and there is absolutely nothing wrong with being sensitive) such an impolitic or offensive post would follow.

You see, when i was growing up, i was in awe, worshipped girls. i thought they were pure, beautiful, chaste, without guile, innocent, sweet, and incapable of doing or thinking what all of those crazy boys, like me, could do and could think. i would have never, ever told them an off-color joke, never cussed in front of them, never made a crude or vulgar statement to them. They were on a pedestal.

Well, i have since discovered that is not always the way it is. My wife loves to hear ribald jokes. i’ve found out there are others as well. But i don’t know women enough to tell which is which…or is it whom is whom?

But for my purposes here, if you are a woman (or man for that matter) who believes she (or he) fits my description of my youngster perception of women, i will precede the off-color, impolitic, or sexist jokes with the warning “Not for the young ladies of my youth.”

This post is NOT FOR LADIES OF MY YOUTH:

i am pretty sure JD Waits told me this joke. Thinking it was a great joke, i told it to Maureen, who lost it completely, laughing her famed laugh so hard, i thought the entire neighborhood might be laughing at her laughing.

This guy comes into a bar, carrying a very large briefcase. He sits at the bar and orders a martini. As the bartender is working on the martini, the guy opens the briefcase pulls out a very small piano and bench. Then he pulls out a foot tall man, and the little guy sits at the piano and begins to play incredible music as the bartender serves the guy his martini.

“Wow, that’s incredible,” the bartender marvels, “How did you get this guy?”

“Well,” the guy explains, “I was walking along a beach and i found this funny looking bottle,” pulling the bottle out of the briefcase and setting it on the bar, before continuing, “i picked it up and rubbed it and this voice told me i would be granted one wish.

“This is what I got,” pointing to the the tiny piano player.”

“Incredible!” the bartender exclaimed and then asked, “Could i try that with the bottle?”

“Sure,” the guy agreed, handing the bartender the bottle.

The bartender took the bottle, went over into a corner, rubbed the bottled and responded to the voice.

Nothing happened. The bartender was perplexed but cleaned the bar while the guy was drinking his martini and the little guy was playing another beautiful piano etude. The bartender went outside to take out some trash and came back in muttering to the guy, “This is incredible, i wished for a million bucks. Then i go outside and the sky is filled with ducks, an incredible number of ducks. There must have been a million ducks.”

And the guy at the bar says, “You think i wished for a 12-inch pianist?”

Now that’s the joke. Maureen loved it and wanted to share. A few days later, we met our friends Jim and Sharon Hileman for dinner. After we finished the main course and ordered dessert, Maureen asked me if she could tell the joke to Sharon and Jim and i said of course.

Although excited, Maureen set up the punch line perfectly, pretty much telling the story as described above.

Then she got to the punchline and said:

“Do you think I wished for a foot tall piano player.”

Sharon and Jim looked puzzled, very puzzled, and i tried to explain, but i was laughing so hard i had fallen on the floor.

Long Ago, A Sea Story

My brother Joe and i talked this morning. It’s a long way between the Southwest and Northeast corners of this country, but during our phone calls, the distance seems to melt away. Today, we talked of COVID and the things old brothers and younger brothers talk about, but not politics. We don’t talk politics. Joe always seems to give me a new deeper, philosophical aspect of whatever comes up. i lean on him, sometimes too much i’m sure. i am the ribald one, telling funny stories. Today during our talks, something came up reminding me of a sea story.

Now this sea story occurred a long, long time ago. It was during the time i was the executive officer of the 18-man MSTS (half-way through the Navy changed the name from Military Sea Transport Service to Military Sealift Command, i.e. MSC) Transport Unit One. We rode the MSTS ships carrying Korean troops to and from Vietnam. Our unit was responsible for liaison between the ship and the troops and coordinating, loading, unloading, and maintaining good order and discipline.

One of our staff was a Master Chief. i won’t divulge his name or rating here to protect the guilty. i mean, this was a different time, and this guy and i would be excoriated for what he did and what i’m telling now about what he did. What i’m trying to say is this is not a politically correct post for the current culture of our world and even would have been offensive to many during the time it occurred. That, of course, makes it a wonderful sea story.

This master chief was extremely good at his work and the esprit de corps of the enlisted and officer personnel. He was also an old school master chief.

 *    *    *

The Master Chief’s first misadventure came during one of ours stays in Sasebo, Japan, where the ship went through resupply and maintenance after each roundtrip sail between Pusan, Korea and two ports in Vietnam. After a day of liberty, the master chief reported to the CO and me with his entire head bandaged up.

“Good Lord, Master Chief, “What happened to you?”

“I got my jaw broke,” he replied.

“How?”

“This Japanese wife of one of the chiefs stationed here hit me with her purse,” he nodded his head resignedly.

“Hit you with her purse?” i puzzled.

“Yes sir, XO,” the Master Chief replied, “I was at the chief’s club playing the slots in the game room. i wasn’t doing very well on the one i was one, and i watched this woman and she was doing pretty well.

“So when she left, i went over and started playing that machine. I had just won a small jackpot when she came back. Apparently, she had just gone to the head.

“When she saw i had won some money on the machine she had been playing, she hit me with her purse.”

“She broke your jaw by hitting you with her purse!” i exclaimed incredulously.

“Well sir, her purse was full of quarters.”

 *    *    *

Now the Master Chief enjoyed his liberty. On one stop in Pusan, he decided he would go down to the sizable and wild red light district. He talked the ship’s stewards into giving him a whole uncooked chicken, found a long pole, tied a piece of twine to it, and on the other end attached the chicken. The Master Chief went down to the red light district’s main drag. He hung the pole over his shoulder with the chicken dangling on the twine behind him. Then, he walked up and down the middle of it.

When we found out what he had done, i asked him what in the world he was doing. The Master Chief replied, “I was trawling for a woman.”

He never told me if he caught anything.

 *    *    *

On one of our ports in Vietnam, the Master Chief found an Air Force doc who performed vasectomies. This was in the earlier days of the procedure, at least for the military, and the Navy had not authorized them. So the Master Chief signed up for one on our next trip to that port.

As we pulled into Pusan before the ship’s next trip to Nam, the Master Chief prepared for our one night of liberty there. This time, he had a friend make a sign on a pole, he carried and marched down that same central street of the red light district. The sign read in Korean letters: “Get the Last Live Load.”

Once again, i never learned of the success or failure of his exploit.

i’m glad i never knew what happened.

Thanks Not Yet Complete

i am really quite blown away. When the first birthday wishes began popping up in mail, email, and Facebook, i vowed i would obey my mama and reply individually to everyone. Thus far, i have responded to about 50 during a full birthday, including a golf outing at Coronado arranged by Maureen. It was lovely, but took almost the full day.

Although i  remain dedicated to fulfilling my vow, it’s going to take some time, AND with the infernal machinations of this thing called social media, i often lose things…you know, like a 77-year old man. To add to that, i received somewhere over 200 well wishes, far beyond what i thought i might get. Oh yeh, i still have to send my thank-you notes for Christmas gifts. My mama would get mad if i didn’t.

If you don’t immediately get a reply from me, be assured i did read yours and my response should be coming. If you never get a reply from me, know it was not intentional. It’s lost somewhere in the la la cloud thingy. Don’t blame me. Blame my age.

It was a wonderful day. i decided i did not feel like 77. Sometimes i feel like i’m 50. Sometimes, at least 50% if not more, i feel like 130.

And thanks to all of you. i cannot express how great it made me feel.