i don’ wanna.

i was thinking yesterday about how many times i’ve said or thought that over the span of 79 years, and what the repercussions would have been had i had my way.

Jim, stop sucking your thumb.
i don’ wanna.

Jim, eat your food.
i don’ wanna.

Jim, don’t poop in your underpants.
i don’ wanna (to not poop in my underpants).

Jim, quit wiggling and making all that noise (in church)
i don’ wanna.

Jim, be good and quiet, and listen.
i don’ wanna.

Jim, clean up your room.
i don’ wanna.

Jim, wash the dishes.
i don’ wanna.

Jim, stay away from that boy; he just wants to fight.
i don’ wanna.

Jim, be sure and be home for supper.
i don’ wanna.

Jim, do your homework.
i don’ wanna.

Jim, turn off the radio.
i don’ wanna.

Jim, turn off the television.
i don’ wanna.

Jim, go to bed.
i don’ wanna.

Jim, go to sleep.
i don’ wanna.

Jim, play in the yard, not in the street.
i don’ wanna.

Jim, eat some fruit; candies aren’t good for you,
i don’ wanna.

Jim, be sure you get home before supper.
i don’ wanna.

Jim, practice your piano.
i don’ wanna.

Jim, come straight home from school.
i don’ wanna.

Jim, wake up; you are going to be late.
i don’ wanna.

Jim, wash and wax the floors.
i don’ wanna.

Jim, clean the windows.
i don’ wanna.

Jim, mow the yard.
i don’ wanna.

Jim, do your homework.
i don’ wanna.

Jim, after baseball practice (or football, or basketball), come straight home, don’t play basketball in the gym with Mike Dixon.
i don’ wanna.

Jim, you can pick up the other boys for the meeting but take them straight home and don’t go anywhere else.
i don’ wanna.

Jim, quit speeding.
i don’ wanna.

There are numerous other instances where that phrase came into my mind through my years. They go past my mother and father, includes my wives, friends with good intentions, counselors, senior Navy officers, and many others. To my declaration of not wanting to do something, i weighed the ramifications of actually not doing something or going ahead and resisting my inclination to resist. This practice of assessment has been part of my decision process for all of my life that i remember.

Sometimes my choice to do something i didn’t want to do turned out great. Other times it was a disaster.

Sometimes not doing something i didn’t want to do turned out great. Other times it was a disaster.

So, after 79 years and more, what have i learned? I have learned sometimes things work out. Sometimes they don’t. What i have learned is to live with it, either way. After all if they don’t, what is going to happen? It really doesn’t matter if i am trying to live a good life, be a good person. Regardless, living is going to happen until i die…but i don’ wanna.