There are two things on earth that are universal: hydrogen and stupidity.

It is always the best policy to speak the truth – unless of course you are an exceptionally good liar.

The only time your ball listens to you when you’re yelling at it is when you are giving it misinformation.

The more I see of men, the better I like my dog.

In order to get a loan, you must first prove you don’t need it.