From my “Murphy’s Law” desk calendar archives thanks to Aunt Evelyn, Uncle Pipey, and cousin Nancy:

Matz’s Rule Regarding Medications: A drug is that substance which, when injected into a rat will produce a scientific report.

Goofy guy’s frustration with Matz’s Rule Regarding Medications: Why aren’t they using the rats i know for the injections: the reports would be very interesting.

From my “Murphy’s Law” desk calendar archives thanks to Aunt Evelyn, Uncle Pipey, and cousin Nancy:

Barach’s Rule: An alcoholic is a person who drinks more than his own physician.

Goofy guy’s observation about Barach’s Rule: But then, i’m sure my physician drinks a lot more because of my appointments with him.

Goofy Guy’s corollary to Barach’s Rule: If you go to an allergist, you will have an allergy. Then you both can have a drink.

From my “Murphy’s Law” desk calendar archives thanks to Aunt Evelyn, Uncle Pipey, and cousin Nancy:

Meader’s Law: Whatever happens to you, it will previously have happened to everyone you know, only more so.

Goofy guy’s addition to  on Meader’s Law: The number of people who have had whatever you had happen to you previously happen to them increases exponentially with 1) age, 2) at the 19th hole, and 3) with old salts.

From my “Murphy’s Law” desk calendar archives thanks to Aunt Evelyn, Uncle Pipey, and cousin Nancy:

Weinberg’s Second Law: If builders built buildings the way programmers write programs, then the first woodpecker to come along would destroy civilization.

Goofy guy’s codicil on Weinberg’s Second Law: And the way i have struggled with my printer, Google, passwords, etc. in the last couple of days, i just might be the woodpecker of programs. 

From my “Murphy’s Law” desk calendar archives thanks to Aunt Evelyn, Uncle Pipey, and cousin Nancy:

Cochrane’s Aphorism: Before ordering a test, decide what you will do if it is 1) positive, or 2) negative. If both answers are the same, don’t do the tests.

Goofy guy’s observation of Cochrane’s Aphorism: There are many in the medical field, and nearly every dealer franchise auto service department that have never heard of Cochrane’s Aphorism…nor congress when they consider another investigation.