All posts by James Jewell

A Love Story Oft Told…again

This is the post for Maureen’s birthday from last year, the annual retelling of how we met.

i included last year’s introduction because it is so true. i also wanted to make a few more comments: i have praised her quite a bit here. She deserves every bit of my praise and very little of my snarky comments. There are two things that shout at me concerning how lucky i am to have her in my life. One, i am pretty sure she is the only one who could have put up with my dark side for all of these years, the bad habits, the snoring, the crazy thoughts i continually announce. But perhaps the best thing about Maureen Renee Boggs Jewell is she loves me in spite of all of those bad habits.

Oh yeh, she is the youngest and prettiest seventy year old i have ever known.

2020 introduction:
It dawned on me this morning as she arose early and ruined my birthday surprise as only Maureen can, i should make this an annual post. This is a love story. It’s true, although we still disagree on some insignificant points, but then again, that’s what happens when the birthday girl of 69 has been married to a goofy guy for near 37 years. And her disruption of plans this morning and the arguments over insignificant points leads to laughter and a hug. Can’t ask for more than that.

Once again, Happy Birthday, Maureen.

In March 1982, i was the Weapons Officer on the USS Okinawa (LPH 3), an amphibious helicopter carrier – For some quirky reason, the department head position was entitled First Lieutenant, which i preferred, on all of the ships of that class, except the Okinawa. My commanding officer was Captain David Rogers, one of the best captains i had on the ten ships on which i served.

Dave was very proud of his ship. He desired it to be the best, and asked me to come up with a way to make our quarterdeck (for landlubbers, this is the main, if not the only entrance to the ship, a ceremonial and practical place for greeting guests coming on board, a check-in, check-out place for officers and crew, and for enforcing security. In short, like the bridge at sea, the quarterdeck is one of the most important places on the ship when moored or anchored.

But on carriers, or at least helicopter carriers like Okinawa, the quarterdeck was located on the hanger deck, one deck below the flight deck. It was a cavernous area for stowing helicopters and performing maintenance. It was not a showy place. That made making the quarterdeck better than all of the others on the waterfront a difficult task.

Okinawa already had a huge red Japanese torii (ornamental gate) we placed on the quarterdeck when in port. But the captain wanted our entrance to be better. That was my challenge.  Finally, a couple of my division officers, CWO4 Boatswain Roger Ellis, and i came up with a solution.  A bosun is the heart of deck departments on large ships. Bosun Ellis was one of the best bosuns around. His wife was a very short and very round Filippino lady who was involved in a lot of department activities, including creating beautiful macramé (she made the lanyard for the boatswain pipe the department gave me for a good-bye present  a year later. It hangs from my Navy brass clock in my home office still).

The Okinawa’s quarterdeck spilled into the hangar bay, a huge but not very attractive space. Guests, while waiting for whomever they had come to visit, had to stand in the area. We decided to buy partitions and make a waiting area with some nice, but durable seating and hang artwork on the partition walls.

Captain Rogers thought that was a marvelous idea. So on Friday, March 12, 1982, Boatswain Ellis and his first class boatswainmate were to include panels in their bi-weekly department shopping run. The boatswainmate had straggly, straw-colored hair, which he combed into as much of a ducktail as a regulation Navy haircut would allow. On these runs the duo wore civvies. Both had on jeans. Bosun Ellis had on a black tee shirt, which did not hide his more than adequate beer belly. His hair, jet-black, was thick and also worn with a hint of a ducktail. The boatswainmate wore a studded black leather biker’s jacket over a white tee shirt. When he took off his jacket, his cigarette case was wrapped in the left sleeve of the tee shirt.

They left the ship about 1400. i had a lot of paperwork and stayed in my department office until well after 1700, more than an hour after liberty call. That’s when the pair returned.

Somewhat surprised to find me, the bosun told me they had gotten all of the needed supplies except for the panels. When i asked why, he explained, “Well, sir, we went to Dixieline Lumber (the local hardware store). They didn’t carry panels. They suggested we try this place downtown, Parron-Hall Office Interiors.

“We went there and it was real fancy, way above our pay grade. But this lady came out and helped us. She was nice and pretty, and I noticed she didn’t have a ring on her left finger.

“But she was way too skinny for me.”

Handing me the brochures he brought back from the lady, he concluded, “So I thought you should go down there and take care of getting the panels.”

On Monday morning, March 15, 1982, i drove downtown and walked into Parron-Hall Office Interiors. The receptionist called for Ms. Boggs. Our first meeting is still disputed. She says i had on my Navy hat. i have never worn my Navy hat indoors and insist my piss cutter was either in my hand or folded in my back pocket. i say she had on a light dress, and i could see her legs silhouetted by the sunlight coming through a window. She says no way.

Regardless, our panel search was finally completed. Somehow i managed to get about five “business lunches” out of the purchase. i hated fraud, waste, abuse, and corruption, and tried hard not to let this beautiful young woman influence me, but i did keep the relationship as friendly as possible. When the purchase was made and the delivery was on the ship, i went to her office for the last administrative check on Thursday.

Then, i asked her if she would like to go see John Lee Hooker at the Belly Up Tavern in Carlsbad that Saturday.

She asked, “Who’s John Lee Hooker?”

i replied, “He’s one of the best blues singers,” and then inquired, “You do like the blues, don’t you?”

She evaded the question by declaring, “I like all kinds of music.”

She then stated i should know she had a “primary relationship.” i asked, “What’s that?” She laughed.

We went to see John Lee at the Belly Up Tavern Saturday night, and then we went back to the Belly Up on Monday to see Doc Watson.

And so it began.

As to why i was attracted to her, she was beautiful but the realization we could have a relationship that lasted for a long time came to me on a special night the following autumn.

We had been out for dinner uptown, not in La Jolla, which was most often our preference. For some reason, we were driving around Kensington, an upscale neighborhood. We passed a beautiful ravine, and i parked. We just talked about many things in the short stop, and she talked of her beliefs. It struck me hard that she and i had incredibly similar views about living the right way. The more we were together the more i recognized how caring she was without a mean bone in her body.

And then, she sent me flowers. It was probably a first. A florist delivery truck pulled up on the pier and  the driver delivered a rather impressive floral array to the quarterdeck.

“These are for Commander Jewell,” he said. They were delivered. i became a shipboard legend. This rather incredibly beautiful woman had sent flowers to Commander Jewell.

Then i got orders across the country to the USS Yosemite (AD 19) in late summer, which would deploy across the world to the Indian Ocean. She voiced concern about our relationship lasting so far apart. So i asked her to marry me. She said yes.

Before i left, she gave me some photos of her. One of her bosses, Bob Long, was also a very good photographer and had a shooting session with her. My favorite was enlarged, framed and hung on the bulkhead of my shipboard office. It is now above the desk in my home office.

She was beautiful. Still is.

1983
2019

Joy

It is late.

All the lights except the reading light above my chair are off. Maureen went to bed to read. She will be asleep now. i can no longer read more than two paragraphs in bed without falling to sleep. That is why i am in this chair.

i will not write my usual thousand-plus words here tonight. i may do that tomorrow to honor her. She deserves honor. After all, she has put up with me going on 37 years.

No words, even though i might attempt it tomorrow, can express how much i love this lady.

She is beautiful inside and out. She is caring. She is loving. She’s a little crazy. She has a great laugh.

We are a great fit. You bring me joy.

Happy 69th Birthday tomorrow, my beautiful Maureen.

i love you.

 

Murphy’s Law

From my “Murphy’s Law” desk calendar archives thanks to Aunt Evelyn, Uncle Pipey, and cousin Nancy:

The Ultimate Principle: By definition, when you are investigating the unknown you do not know what you will find.

Goofy guy’s appreciation of The Ultimate Principle: Thinking about The Ultimate Principle can fill up an entire day when you are sheltered in place…or some other place.

I Knew Admiral Rickover and He Knew Me

I Knew Admiral Rickover and He Knew Me

BONITA, CA – Last Friday, one regular golfer noted he had an Admiral Rickover story.

When I mentioned last week’s column and the midshipmen who broke his engagement only to be rejected by Rickover, my golfer exclaimed, “I knew that guy. He was my roommate at the Academy.”

The two stories were similar but took different twists at the end. When Rickover noticed the roommate’s grades had slipped, the midshipman confided his fiancé had moved to Annapolis for his senior year, a distraction, but his focus would be on nuclear power if accepted. Then Rickover used the ploy he had used with my story.

“Call you fiancé and cancel the engagement,” Rickover demanded. Doing as told, the midshipman called his fiancé with Rickover listening, he announced, “Honey, I just wanted to tell you I’m going to be an Naval aviator, not a nuclear submariner.”

Then there were two moments when I was A&M’s nuclear power advisor and in Rickover’s gun sight.

Texas A&M was renowned for it’s nuclear engineering program, and one NROTC cadet was a brilliant nuclear engineer. He held a 4.0 grade point average when I counseled him in preparation for the Navy’s Nuclear Power program acceptance process.

“Midshipman (name not included intentionally), I am sure you will get to the final interview with Admiral Rickover,” I commenced, “But I can find no commonality in Rickover’s interviewing techniques to tell you what you should say or do.”

“However,” I continued, “The one consistent thing I’ve found in all of the post-interview comments I’ve read is this: If you make a statement or respond to a question from the admiral, do not recant. When interviewees go back on a previous comment to the admiral, they are not accepted in the program.”

Concluding, I cautioned, “So I advise you to stick to your guns, no matter how hard the admiral tries to dissuade you.”

The young man went to Washington, D.C. and flew through the preliminary process. He entered Rickover’s lair in the late morning. When he refused to budge on a statement, Rickover sent him to the “waiting room,” a small room with a chair and a light bulb where he waited for several hours before being summoned again.

Again Rickover pressed him to recant his position. The midshipman refused. He went back to the room for a couple of more hours. The process was repeated into the late evening before Rickover directed him to stay over and see him again the next morning. After another round of refusing to budge and more time in the “waiting room,” the admiral finally asked the midshipman if he had been coached and by whom.”

The midshipman told the admiral “Lieutenant Commander Jewell” in the NROTC unit had given him some suggestions about how to respond in the interview. He was dismissed. Rickover picked up his phone and called the president of Texas A&M. The Admiral demanded his Navy staff, a.k.a. me, should not counsel midshipmen when they were to interview. Then he called the NROTC Unit Commanding Officer, my direct boss, Colonel Ivins. The next morning the colonel called me in and told me what transpired.

“And you know, Jim, Admiral Rickover called in the middle of supper,” he griped, “I swallowed my taco whole, nearly choked.”

The midshipman? He never made it to submarines. The nukes considered him so valuable after he was commissioned, they sent him straight to the research arm of the Nuclear Regulatory Commission. He never wore a uniform, but did very well.

Another prize midshipman was the regimental commander of the Cadet Corps, probably the first Navy cadet to hold the position. He also was brilliant and loved the Aggie Corps. I gave him the same direction, but it did not prove a factor.

Upon his return, he noted the interview went well until Rickover asked him what was entailed in being the regimental commander. The cadet told Rickover he was responsible for leadership of the 3,000 strong corps. Rickover mumbled something to the effect that was his job.

That evening, the TAMU president and Col. Ivins received their second calls from the admiral. “What the heck do you think you’re doing down there,” he screamed at the president, “You teach them nuclear engineering. I’ll take care of the leadership.”

The colonel got off a bit lighter this time. He didn’t swallow his taco.

 

 

 

An Amazing Kathy

The other day, i received a Facebook post with a digital story telling from a young friend…well, she’s younger than me, but that is becoming just about everybody. Regardless, the story was impressive, and i dwelt on how to write something about what a wonderful and caring person she was and remains.

i considered our get together from a couple of years ago. i was pretty much retired, and she was planning for retirement when we met, and sort of got to that stage. But not really. We both still have things to accomplish. The dinner we shared with spouse and friends was delightful. Then we had coffee on a Sunday morning. We caught up. Her accomplishments are remarkable and in keeping with her caring.

Then, i remembered our past. i began an email to my family: wife, daughters, son-in-law, brother and his wife, sister and her husband. Then i changed my mind.i thought she might find it embarrassing, maybe even a little offensive, especially considered the status she has obtained. So i asked for her permission to tell the story.

i do not know how many of you tell my story of “Kathy the Drunk.” If i have related that story to you, this is a bit of an expanded version.
In April 1969, the USS Hawkins (DD 873) returned to its home port of Newport, Rhode Island after completing its overhaul in the Boston Naval Shipyard and almost three months of refresher training or “REFTRA” at the U.S. Naval Base in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. i returned to an empty nest. My wife of six months had left me and filed for divorce. i had waived my rights to delay the divorce under the “Soldiers and Sailors Relief Act” because i realize contesting the divorce would just make things worse. Still i was in a dejected state and returning to a wonderful apartment on Tuckerman Avenue looking directly across Easton Bay to the Breakers, Vanderbilt’s summer mansion, was not a joyous occasion.
The small bedroom, spacious living area, tiny kitchen and bath was only half filled with what Jane had determined was mine. i had married believing it was for my lifetime and that half-empty apartment poured fuel on the fire of my angst.
The marriage was one of the dumber things i’ve done in my life, putting her in a most difficult situation without my realizing it. But i was committed for my lifetime, or so i thought, until that empty, desolate, feeling hit me when i opened that door.