All posts by Jim

Sunday Thoughts

A Pocket of Resistance

Well, it’s been a while and i need a good rant. So this is for marketeers and the PR experts, those folks who sell a product or cause to just about the entire world, or rather they try to do that.

Folks, i thought you might want to know you ain’t getting to me. In fact, your efforts to sell something nearly always has the reverse effect on me.

i’m sure this will make absolutely no impact on the marketing/PR folks as i am not statistically relevant. i find that very assuring, sort of like having a life and not being a number.

For example, Maureen and i enjoy watching professional golf. Some brilliant marketeer sold the golf media folks, “Playing Through” was a neat and new idea that would sell a lot of product. So while i’m watching golfers play golf, over half the screen becomes a commericial, complete with sound. The golf picture is then so small, i have no idea of what is happening on the course, the golf course. Well, i make a note of all the companies in the commercials and vow never to buy any of their products again.

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And for all of you who must know more than me about selling prescription drugs. i hope you are getting to some docs because you are turning me off. i rely on my doctor to prescribe what i need (oh sorry, the insurance folks now want me to call him primary care). Since i had to have a VA primary care doc to make myself available for the VA services, i now have two. i know which one is my primary doc, but you see, civilians, the veteran administration, and Navy medical are not allowed to talk to each other so i have to double or triple up on my communication. i’m pretty sure it has something to do with money.

But back to these prescription ads. They generally make me nauseous, if not ill. And if you might actually make me think about your ad, that qualifying stuff — i’m sure included to avoid law suits from ambulance chasers — at the end of each commercial snuffs out any attraction your ad might have.

And every time when i see one of those commercials after i turn the sound to mute, i wonder how much money was added to the cost of the prescription.

And who the hell are these folks you have on your commerical…and how much are you paying them to push your product? i can’t imagine anyone afflicted with what your product will supposedly cure would actually try to get your product with all the bad things could happen you reveal at the end.

And once again, if i do have a choice in what prescription i will take it won’t be any i’ve seen or heard or read on these ads.

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And i would be much happier, if all of you folks selling stuff, would just tell me about your product or service, not how bad all the others are, not making me laugh and think it will make me buy it. Or have beautiful people that have no resemblance to me to buy your ad. And i’m damn sure i’m not going to buy it if an admired athlete or movie star is pushing it.

Once upon a time i was a a business development manager for a military contractor. A former employee who had been in my position asked a friend and fellow employee if we were “still selling smoke.” Sadly the answer was yes.

And it seems nearly every product or service is selling smoke. i guess those statistics these folks use in which i’m not relevant it sells their products. Not to me. Sorry. Oh, i enjoy some of the commercials when i fail to mute them or fail to record the program and fast forward through things that make all the sports i watch at least an hour longer than they should be. Some are funny. Some are touching. Some are interesting. But i ain’t buying. Sorry.

Now if you want to add a little box at the bottom of the screen that tells me you are the sponsor and what product or service you have and an objective point as to what it is, and let me watch whatever i’m watching, or listening, or in the case of the internet, reading, then you might have a chance with me.

But i know. i know that isn’t going to happen.

It is sometimes really enjoyable being a grumpy old ranting man who is irrelevant.

A Tale of the Sea and Me – Vieques Night Shoot

Sea Stories

The Hawkins was qualified in gunnery, but we had one more live fire exercise before heading back to Newport. We left our station off of Calibre and headed to Vieques. We arrived in the early evening, anchored off the range, and around 2200, began the exercise. i think in the world of Allied Tactical Publications it was designated as Z-49-G, a night time gunnery mission.

The key figure in this exercise was the Sky One Director, Joe McMakin, who had surprised everyone when his counter battery fire in the qualifying exercise at Calibre.

The ship would get a call for fire from a forward gunfire liaison officer (GLO) — on ranges, this would be the range director. To abet the vision of the GLO, the after-mount, 53, would fire rounds carrying white phosphorous we called “willy peter” into the sky. They were timed to off above the area for the call to fire. When they detonated they released the willy peter on a parachute, which would slowly descend to the range, lighting up the area for firing.

The after mount would continue this alternating with each of its two guns, coordinated by Sky One, the director officer. The GLO would would send the coordinates for the area target to the ship’s Gunfire Support Director — i sure i have erred in the names of some of the positions in the fire control system — which was now Ralph Clark, the new director in Combat (CIC). He would send the directions to the officers on the MK 1 computer below and then give the order to fire with forward mount 51. Sky One would coordinate the firing of “willy peter” rounds from the after mount.

At least that was the way it was supposed to go. But Joe got a little confused and not much was going right. i stood by the captain as his voice over the fire control circuit. Big but taciturn CDR Max Lasell was growing frustrated, very frustrated. He turned to me and told me to notify him in the best way possible if some emergency occurred. With that warning, he stepped back into the pilot house, strode across it, exiting on the starboard side. From there he headed aft and climbed the ladder to the O4 level.

i could see him again as he scaled the side of the Sky One director. Joe was sitting at the top frantically trying to get the guns coordinated without much success. He had on that ginormous sound powered phone battle helmet and completely unaware the captain was climbing up the outside of the director. It was noisy.

When Max reached the top and his yell could not gain Joe’s attention, he began to beat…er, tap, on Joe’s battle helmet with his binoculars.

i don’t know what Captain Lasell said to Joe. i wish i did. The conversation was short. The captain descended from his precarious perch and returned to the bridge wing where i awaited.

Miraculously, the gunfire became coordinated, we took the GLO’s spots and moved the rounds until we were on target and began firing for effect. The night shoot went from looking like a complete disaster to a success.

Standing by the captain is the primo spot for watching a night gun shoot on a FRAM destroyer. i was lucky. i wish everyone could have that opportunity, now vanished. i still have no need to watch fireworks. If i do, it’s because i’m being accommodating for someone else to watch.

They always pale in comparison to that night shoot off of Vieques about fifty-five years ago.