All posts by Jim

Murphy’s Law

From my “Murphy’s Law” desk calendar archives thanks to Aunt Evelyn, Uncle Pipey, and cousin Nancy:

Bitton’s Postulate on State-Of-The-Art Electronics: If you understand it, it’s obsolete.

Goofy guy’s confusion concerning Bitton’s Postulate on State-of-the-Arts Electronics: This could mean everything i have is current, but i’m pretty sure everything i have in electronics is obsolete and i still don’t understand it.

Repaired

It is that lull time in the late afternoon. Even in the days of bustling everywhere throughout those days when we could, this time of day is another moment to…well, repair in both the current use and in my use of the word as used a while ago.

i only did some organizing kind of work with my book, and spent most of the day doing house fix-its, furniture repair, and my usual fussing around in the garage workshop without getting a whole lot done.

Then instead of my fartlek walk/run (and that’s a good, clean word, mind you), i cut my hair.  i mean cut. i hadn’t touched a hair above my neck since all of this hunkering down began six weeks ago until we got some wonderful news.

A number of the golf courses in Riverside County are open. It’s about an hour drive northeast from here, so we will be going up Wednesday for a round with the Toennies, our go-to-golf friends (and much more). Ahhh, golf. The restaurant and lodging remains closed, so it will be a day trip, a haul, but that’s okay. We can play golf and social…hell no, not social, physical distance ourselves as required.

My lack of attention to the tonsorial regimen was not to grow a beard. i’ve tried that numerous times and finally recognized there too many bare spots for it to look decent. And although i am no longer really vain, i do like to look decent in public. And social-physical distance or not, a golf round is out in public.

Since i gave up barbers quite a while ago and resorted to an electric razor for what is left, it didn’t take long.

When finished, i repaired to my home office where i am now. i am writing but i am reflecting. In case you don’t catch Facebook, my grandson, Samuel James Jewell Gander turned 13 today. Repaired is a good word for reflecting about Sam. Sam is a repairer of hearts. He may not know it, but he has been repairing hearts since the day he was born thirteen years ago. He has seven grandparents. They all are one when it comes to loving Sam.

i could go on, but i already have.

Six weeks is a long time to shelter in. Lots of folks, i noticed, are getting antsy. There is more getting out.

i have mixed emotions about that, but Wednesday, i’m getting out also.

Yet tonight, i don’t care. The Southwest corner is enjoying Southwest corner weather. Maureen is watching “Third Rock from the Sun” while she is fixing supper — man, i love that term “fixing supper;” it’s so much more descriptive than “cooking” although “cookin'” is a close second). And in my repairing and reflecting, i will get her classic, infectious laugh wafting into the office.

Sam’s birthday stoked up my reflecting. Last night set it up. Sarah recommended we watch “Field of Dreams” as our movie. We did. i blubbered again. Several times. That movie, as fanciful as it is, gets to me.

And boy, did i reflect, and wish. As i was doing this, Bill Davenport posted a photo on the Lebanon,TN & Wilson County, Past & Genealogy Facebook page. Reflection kicked into high gear. This was a special dining experience for us. Daddy would get us all in his ’48 dark green Pontiac sedan, and take us to this place. Incredible hamburgers and the best chocolate malts in the world EVER, as i noted on the Facebook post.

Sitting here after repairing, and reflecting on the world, i wish Shoeless Joe Jackson; Moonlight Graham; Terrence Mann; Ray, Annie, and John Kinsella were real, which should mean i could take Sam to Maple Hill Court for supper and let him have a chocolate malted milk. And you know what? i would let him play the pinball machine for a dime. My father wouldn’t let me play. He told me it was a waste of money. Different times.

i hope you too can get some relief and stay safe from this craziness. And i hope you too have someone like Sam who can pull folks together, and give you peace.

And lord, i hope you have a chocolate malted in your future. It won’t be as good as Maple Hill Court’s, but it’s hard to mess them up.

Good night.

Murphy’s Law

From my “Murphy’s Law” desk calendar archives thanks to Aunt Evelyn, Uncle Pipey, and cousin Nancy:

Lee’s Law: In any dealings with a collective body of people, the people will always be more tacky than originally expected.

Goofy guy’s “au contraire” to Lee’s law: This law does not apply to politics because i am eternally expecting a collective body of a political party and its followers to be tacky, really, really tacky. 

Ladies With Typewriters

i stole this. Norm O’Neal, one of my shipmates on my first ship, the USS Hawkins (DD-873) sent me the below in an email this morning. My wife wanted me to send it to my sister. Upon reflection, i thought of a number of other friends who would enjoy it, so i stole it and posted it here. Thanks, Norm.

They’re Back!

Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for the church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced at church services:

The Fasting and Prayer Conference includes meals.

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on the Water. ‘The sermon tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.’

Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

Don’t let worry kill you off – let the Church help.

Miss Charlene Mason sang ‘I will not pass this way again,’ giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Next Thursday there will be try-outs for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be ‘What Is Hell?’ Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

Pot-luck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM – prayer and medication to follow.

The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please use the back door.

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM . The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new campaign slogan last Sunday:I Upped My Pledge – Up Yours.