The Cambridge Dictionary defines “coming of age” as “Someone’s coming of age is the time when that person legally becomes an adult and is old enough to vote.”

Well, before i posted praising golf and dining in the Park City/Midway area of Utah, i had started a post with the above title. i was trying to include too many things. Upon my return, i cut it up into two posts. This one is about my thoughts on where i am and where i’m going.

i am, i believe, coming of age, on the backside of the original definition of the term.

Pete Toennies and i have been on many adventures and misadventures. As noted, we met in Hobart, Tasmania in November in 1979. That deployment when we were both on the staff of Commander, Amphibious Squadron Five, Pete as the UDT advisor for the commodore and me as the “Current Operations,” and “SLJO” (Shitty Little Jobs Officer). It was a glorious deployment. Along with Mike Peck, O.W. Wright, and Al Pavich, we hit Sydney, Australia; Port Moresby, Papua New Guinea; Subic Bay, Luzon, Philippines, of course; Hong Kong; Singapore; and Pearl Harbor, Oahu, Hawaii on the way back to our home port of San Diego.

It was an epic deployment in so many ways.

Upon our return to San Diego, Pete and his wife Nancy put me up in their home on Coronado until, with their help, i found an incredible apartment on the island. Although we were then in different commands, we, along with Nancy, spent a lot of time together. Pete and i played racquet ball for hours on end, and the three of us found a bunch of good places to eat. Pete and i ran, like running distances, together and even played golf.

Pete went off to do Seal things. i went to sea. Then after about 15 years, we reconnected at his retirement from the Navy. We’ve been doing our thing ever since.

This trip turned into an Old Boys’ Quest. After all, we are old. i hit 80 seven months ago. Pete trails me by five years. He’s still old. But we decided to ignore that for this quest.

In addition to age, infirmities abound between the two of us. Pete is a hero, a Navy SEAL who has put up with injuries getting worse with age. He remains an amazing athlete and, i confess, a much better golfer than me. Amazingly, all of my infirmities remain mostly annoying. Boy, are they annoying.

i knew this old man might be on his last adventure. i will be going home in a bit more than a month. Lebanon, Nashville, Vanderbilt, and possibly MTSU, old haunts, old friends, too many old places vanishing. But this will be a nostalgia trip, no athletic pursuits to accomplish, no quest.

In the mountains, when not resting, i.e. long napping, i thought of the great times here up in the Wasatch Mountains (i will re-post my poem i wrote years ago about these mountains and Park City later today). i learned to ski there in 1987 with Maureen. Following that first time on the slopes, she and i skied there with Blythe, Sarah, and a host of friends and family until 2017. To ski again, we would have had to buy new ski bindings, new boots, and my expanding width would require new ski outfits for me. It dawned on me that even though one of my greatest ski assets was the ability to fall without hurting myself, i am now 80 and falling is not a good thing regardless of how well you do it at 80 and beyond. There will be no more skiing for this old boy.

i didn’t realize when i decided not ski that is was really my first step in coming of age redux.

After Pete and i celebrated success in our quest, i admitted to myself it probably shouldn’t have been attempted, not with that amount of golf in such a short time (i played six rounds of golf in eight days). i’ve still not completely recovered. But we were determined to play as much as we could and even had another round scheduled, six in six days, but demurred, taking Saturday off.

i have realized my second coming of age.

There are creaks, aches, and pains for me on a pretty regular basis. My skin is splotchy, wrinkled and thin. Any contact with a corner of furniture, branch, bush, etc. can produce a bruise that lasts long and a cut that bleeds, requiring a bandage. My balance and strength, or lack of, are starting to impact what tasks i undertake. Oh yeh, i am bald.

Each creak, ache, and pain has to be evaluated for being a symptom of something much worse. Now, i have to consider the risks and benefits of everything i do based on my age limitations.

My dear Mazda 3 hatchback will probably be my last car. They don’t make them with standard transmissions anymore. The only cars with standard transmissions now are sports cars — when i was in my late thirties through mid-forties, there were two Rx7s as my transportation. They fit me at that age. Now, i would look ridiculous in a sports car at my age, but i think i drive better, pay more attention with a stick. So, i’m hanging on to this 2012 wonder

My running is now walking. i find i think too much and finding the world as i know it filled with lemmings, and myself removed from it.

i have come of age. And. you know what? i’m fine with that. i can adjust. i just need to ensure i do things the rest of my in the right way.

…but i will still play golf, and i’m thinking of when i might consider pursuing another quest.