Monthly Archives: April 2018

Letters a While Ago Revisited

i was sitting at my desk in my home office, pretty much just wasting time and amazing myself at how it seems i always have more to do than can be done, never have enough money to do those things, and how long it takes me to get anything done.

Then i quit playing spider solitaire and decided to do something.

A couple of days ago, i wrote a post about V-Mails. There were six V-Mail letters i received with a nice note from my cousin, Nancy Schwarze. She always writes nice notes. The V-Mails were from my father to my aunt and uncle, Nancy’s parents. He wrote one from Gulfport, Mississippi where his 75th Seabees were waiting for a Liberty Ship to take them through the Panama Canal and on to the Southwest Pacific into the teeth of WWII (where he wrote the other five letters).

i wrote of him and some of my thoughts on him and his letters.

Today, i sent the originals to my grandson, named after my father, not me. i scanned them before i sent them because i realized the scanned letters could say more better than i ever could,  conveying a sense of time, the past, a moment in history as no writing ever could.

As i was doing this, i also ran across a document from my past. It is a Western Union “Mailgram” i sent it to Maureen in October 1983. i was in the Indian Ocean, on the USS Yosemite probably anchored of the Island of Masirah, Oman. We had been married three months and spent about two weeks total together before Yosemite got underway from Mayport, Florida for an eight-month deployment.

i compared my father’s V-Mails to my “telegram” morphed into a wire mail.

My father’s correspondence was received by the recipients some months after they were composed. Maureen got my note within a couple of days, maybe just one day. Now, the communication to folks back home can be instantaneous. But no less heartfelt.

My sense of father’s anxiety and loneliness is palpable to me. He was in hot humid lands of the Solomons, New Guinea, and the Philippines. i know. i have been there. Mine was in the hot, dry (even though at sea) Indian Ocean on a ship the vintage of my father’s military experience but modified to have air-conditioning, which, of course, frequently broke down. Sailors on today’s Navy ships have high-grade climate control, not for them but for all of that sophisticated electronic equipment, which cannot stand heat and must have controlled humidity to operate correctly.

My father was in the middle of it. A Japanese attack by land, sea, or air could have wiped out his battalion and him at any moment for just shy of two years. The enemy was easy to identify. The threat i faced in the IO was less imminent but more shadowy, unknown, and less likely. Today, the threat for our personnel also is shadowy, more of a terrorist nature, but still with lethal possibilities.

My father was fighting to save his country, our country, from domination by foreign terrors, governments run by tyrants with no limits on their murderous prospects. i was and today’s military personnel are fighting in foreign waters and lands with nothing really clear except the threat being real, more to suppress the threat than defend the downfall of our country. Still for those at the front a real possibility of dying.

When my father wrote, he had no idea when he might come home. When i served, i suffered the “mid-cruise” blues on nearly all of my deployments, certainly feeling that loneliness when i wrote my telegram. i do not know the extent of that feeling of loneliness of today’s soldiers, sailors, and marines. But i suspect, even though communications to and from home are so much easier, they still suffer those blues.

Regardless, i decided to include photos of one of my father’s V-Mails and then my Western Union Mail Gram. After all, the scans do convey a sense of time, the past, a moment in history as no writing ever could. Had i samples of today’s communication between deployed military personnel and their loved ones, i would include them. But i don’t have such and even if i did, it would be electronic.

i wanted to share:

The envelope in which the one above was sent:

Letters a While Ago

Today, in case you missed my tribute, is my grandson’s birthday.

We sent him stuff. We called and sang to him. i wrote a poem about him and posted it.

Then i received a letter. The connections rang true.

Nancy Orr Winkler Schwarze sent the letter. Nancy is a cousin, but she is really like a long distance sister. On random weekends for about fourteen years, we would meet on weekends, sometimes in White Oak, then Red Bank, suburbs of Chattanooga; and sometimes in Lebanon, not a suburb of anything but near Nashville. Sometimes we would meet in Monteagle for lunch. Sometimes, especially Easters and Thanksgivings at Mama Orr’s Victorian home on the hill overlooking Rockwood. And in the summers, we often met in the cabin in the Smokies, hanging out on the hill above the creek’s waterfall and played and played and played. Nancy served me the first meal she ever made for a guest in her home in Cocoa Beach, i think. i do remember it was about five courses because she hadn’t quite figured out the timing. But it was good, very good.

She was stunningly beautiful. Still is. And boy, could she dance, especially with her brother Jon.

Long distant sister.

And the letter today was from long distance. Cocoa Beach, Florida to the Southwest corner. It was a nice note. Then i took the enclosures, a good IPA, the Bluetooth speaker, and my iPod out to the backyard sitting area, put on Narada guitars, set down with a pen and tablet to read the letters.

Didn’t write anything on the pad. Didn’t really even here the music.

i did cry.

You see, Nancy, like me, is going through stuff, not necessarily collected but just acquired through years of living, family stuff. When she saw some of my stuff in these posts and on Facebook of my acquirements, she decided to send hers to me. i’ve got a whole bunch she sent earlier of photos and stuff i’ve been slowly scanning and posting. But this was a bit different.

And i guess, thinking of my distance from my grandson Sam and his great grandfather from whence Sam’s name originates and all of that, i got just a tad emotional. i’m that way you know. i used to be embarrassed when i cried about things close to me. Like daughters. Like siblings. Like Mother and Daddy. Sorry. It’s just the way i am.

But these things Nancy sent are rather incredible.

World War II. Letters. “V-Mail,” they called it, abbreviated from “Victory Mail” long before victory was even close to fruition. From Wikipedia, it was explained as “a V-mail letter would be censored, copied to film, and printed back to paper upon arrival at its destination.” The copies Nancy sent me look like what us old folks recall as thermofax, but smaller.

More remarkable, these were six letters, five of them V-Mail, the other marked “Passed by Naval Censor.”  The censors work is evident with words blotted out by some super sensitive desk sitter making sure my father would not put our country in jeopardy by telling my aunt and uncle something terribly classified. i was struck how real it was to them back then and also what an annoyance to the recipients. i was also struck about how important for him to communicate.

We were at war. Real war. Not some political foray to squelch evil in a land far away. Even though my father and uncles were far away from that little town in the heart of Tennessee, they were fighting to keep evil from conquering our world, not perceived potential. Real.

Yet he doesn’t write of war, even if the censor with those editing blots thought my father was revealing a terrible secret. He was writing of love. From far away to far away. My father, from whom i received maybe five total letters and notes in our life times together, was writing to his sister and brother in-laws with love. Showing concern. Talking about his niece and nephew. Missing all of them.

And expressing how much he wanted to be with his wife and child. Me. “James” he called me. Bragging about pictures of me.  Received somewhere in the limits of a Tennessee country boy could grasp in 1944-45: Bouganville, Solomon Island;  New Guinea, the Philippines. He still bragged…from long distance.

i read the all, six one-page letters. Perhaps one day, i shall scan them for all to see. Remarkable specimens of days long gone, a time we really can’t imagine.

i cried. Not because i miss him. i do. Not because of the trials and tribulations he, my uncles and our families had to endure. Not even because how much he loved me.

No. i cried because he was a fine man, a good man. And because he loved his first great grandson, as he did all of his brothers, sisters, brothers-in-law, sisters-in-law, nieces, nephews, cousins, friends, and…oh could i go on about that. But as i read, i kept coming back to James Rye Jewell, Sr. and Samuel James Jewell Gander.

Oh how i wish i could adequately confer with my grandson just what his namesake was really, like really like.

But tonight, Sam too, like Nancy, is distant. Too far to convey such things.

But i really cried because i know Sam is blessed. He’s kin to his namesake.

 

Thoughts on a Birthday Weekend

It was not really her birthday. That event happened last month. It wasn’t even really her present. It was my present to her, but also very much to me.

When i came back from my Vanderbilt-Los Angeles baseball excursion in early March. i told her of my idea. i had been overwhelmed with the Harald Szeeman exhibit “Museum of Passions” on one of Alan Hicks, Cy Fraser, and my side trips on the baseball exhibit. It was my fourth trip to Getty Center. i also had recognized i could never get enough of the Getty. And neither of us had been to the Getty Villa, reputed to have an rather amazing collection of art from the antiquities.

So i said, “Let’s go to Los Angeles for a few days and just see museums.” Now if you know Maureen, you already know this was a done deal. See planned it to perfection (as usual) and even added an evening dinner and stay-over with our cousin Tim and Melinda Cook.

Well, the whole thing turned out splendidly. We hit the Huntington Library, the Getty Center, and the Getty Villa.

The evening with Tim and Melinda was reconnection on the high side with promises for more.

Maureen was moved by the Szeeman exhibit.

The Huntington is such a vast array of architecture, gardens, history and art, we walked for seemingly days in wonder.

The Getty Center continues to say some back, appreciate, and learn more.

The Getty Villa takes me back to the emotions i feel when trying to channel the days of the Greeks, Etruscans, and Romans.

Our stay in Santa Monica was in a wonderful rework of a craftsman home as VRBO guests of Paul and Amanda, superb hosts and members of the jazz rock soul group, The Strands (Paul and Amanda, please excuse me if i mislabeled the genre a little bit: we have enjoyed your CD’s.

Maureen planned our dinner outing at Tar and Roses. It was so good, we went back the second night.

The experience was everything we hoped. It was so good, i did not wish to record it via photos because i did not wish to detract from the enjoyment: i wanted to enjoy it, not record it, and we did.

Of course, there was Los Angeles traffic. We got home midday, and as Sister Lila (Kim Novak) told Zero Mostel’s character in “The Great Bank Robbery,” my ass was dragging. Hence, the late post on the trip.

There is more, but i think Maureen had a great birthday and that was what this was all about.

 

Joy and Hope

My grandson, Sam Gander, turns eleven today. ‘Nuff said.

i stole this from his mother’s FB page.

joy and hope
came upon me
eleven years ago
right after a flight
to austin, texas
and
a quick ride
to the hospital
where i ran head first
into joy and hope;

he was a tiny thing then,
holding more joy and hope
than pretty much the world combined:
Samuel James Jewell Gander,
named perfectly after my father in the middle,
giving all of us
joy and hope;
unification really
of a family, nuclear as it was,
but
then with joy and hope;

through the years,
he continues to bring
joy and hope
growing into manhood
as we gasp and wonder
as he teaches us anew
joy and hope;

Eleven. Sam.
there will be rocks in the road ahead;
you are headed into the adult world
where
joy and hope takes on self-interest,
where
joy and hope will sometimes fade
but now at eleven,
you continue to hold
joy and hope for me
forever.

you, at eleven, moving onward
shall experience glorious things,
yes, and precious things,
and some not so
glorious and precious,
but
you will succeed
if you retain
the joy and hope
you continue to give
to us.

 

Random Musings on a Thursday Night Before FMG

Another sunset on the Pacific tonight. The world is all right. The world is about as hosed up as Hogan’s goat.

And i…well, i am okay.

No, not okay. Good. Damn good. Thank you, people for making me feel good, all of you. For those of you who may have wished or even tried to make me feel bad, thank you, too. i would not have reached this place in my life without all of you. And i am in a good place.

My little garden, though in its infancy, is doing well. Oh, it’s not The Getty Center Garden, and it is just a start, but i find comfort in my new garden. i water and i think of my father watering his gardens in different aspects of his life. i recognize the feel-good he must have felt during the daily process.

The onions apparently has succeeded in keeping off the bobcat. The composter arrived this afternoon. That phase will begin in earnest next week. If all goes well, we may add more boxes. Thus far, it makes me feel good.

And the other yard project is finished, although Maureen or i will find flaws and correct them as we go along. The flagstone path to the sitting area has been set. It was more difficult than i anticipated. Roots were everywhere. It took about a week longer than i expected, but it felt good to wield a pick, shovel, rake, and hatchet again. Feel better. Even our gardener complemented the effort.

i have avoided home projects of any significant scope for quite a while, but i’m back at it, and it feels good. i think i will work on the seven hundred, twenty gazillion others i have on my list. i mean, this half-acre property has been ours for nearly twenty-eight years. It’s time to reassert to the earth, to nature, to all of those wild things out there it is really ours.

There are good things going on. Billie Holiday is here. i love to watch the alligator-hunting hound run with the joy she has, reminds me of my old lab Cass. She is a sweetheart. Sarah has trained her well. Billie’s eyes are eyes of trust. She makes me feel good. But she also has convinced me i will not have one of my own until old age restricts me in my capacity to wander.

i find myself enamored, maybe even entranced with nature’s creatures. My Friday Morning Golf buddies and i have watched and will continue to watch the various fowl along the coast, i.e. the North Island Naval Air Station golf course, Sea ‘n Air, as they live through the seasons. Canadian geese, ospreys, and pelicans are frequently spotted. This time of year, we watch the ducks pair off with the drake and the hen becoming a duo. Then, the ducklings appear. Maureen and i played Sunday with Nancy Toennies while Pete is on the mend. On the 17th tee box, we were greeted by this contingent.

Life is good even if my golf game sucks. But i will be at it again tomorrow just as i have been on most Fridays since 1991.

It is late. More ramblings to come.