For those of you who may not have ever met a coot – and no one i know has ever met just one coot – he, she, or they are not very productive members of our society. For golfers, especially golf course greens keepers, coots are an anathema. They flock to water hazards, destroy the fairways, and drop their rather disgusting green droppings on the greens.

To the point, they are pretty much worthless contributors to the food chain, and, unless you are a very hungry coyote, damn near worthless.

Today, while playing golf on my favorite golf course of all time, Sea ‘n Air, on the Naval Air Station, North Island, i thought of a win, win, win, maybe even another win situation.

I suggested to my golfing buddies we should create a business. We could offer to train 50 terrorists in killing skills. At the same time, we could contract with all of the San Diego County golf courses, which nearly all have a major problem with coots and contract to get rid of the problem.

When the terrorists arrive, we could arm them, provide some training and have them hone their skills by killing all of the coots. Then we could have security forces kill all of the terrorists.

The world would be rid of 50 terrorists. San Diego golf courses would be rid of the coots (for a while). PETA would be please we killed the terrorists who killed the coots. And our business would have profited about five million dollars.

My golfing friends were not optimistic, to say the least.