All posts by Jim

Sewing and Cooking: A Bad Rap

i am an old guy with old ways that don’t necessarily jive with the way we live and think today. Every once in a while, i discover some of my thoughts make some sense…at least to me.

Thursday’s birthday dinner for Maureen’s birthday was high class. She was elegantly beautiful in a French restaurant with a French country setting, incredible food, and great service. Me? i kept thinking.

i thought about how she touches all of the bases. In addition to being beautiful, especially for her age, looks younger, maintains our beautiful home, a product of her design and choices, without fail, keeps the books because she thrives on such an exercise, has many friends she enjoys, including mine, is a cook of chef quality, and a textile artist in sewing and felting.

And then, in such a wonderful setting with a fantastic woman, this song came into my head. i won’t include a Youtube of it here, but the lyrics go:

Always the life of the party
Lots of wine, women and song
But suddenly I feel so downhearted
For the first time I feel all alone
The wine don’t taste too sweet now
All my women can go just to the moon
And I don’t like the song I’ve been singin’
Maybe true love can change that tune.

I don”t want a part time lover
That only wants to rock my soul
All I want to do is discover
The one love that never grows old.
I’m tired of being a playboy
I want to throw away my little black book.
I know its not too late to find somebody
Who likes to sew and cook.

That’s why
I’m reaching out,
Reaching out for that someone;
I’m reaching out for that someone.
That special someone.

Always. the life of the party,
Lots of wine, women, and song;
But suddenly I feel so downhearted;
The wine don’t taste too sweet now;
All my women can just go to the moon;
And I don’t like the song I’ve been singin’;
Maybe true love can change that tune.

That’s Bobby Moore and the Rhythm Aces’ song recorded in 1966. i know because i was the weekend “Top 40” deejay at WCOR AM in Lebanon, Tennessee when it came out. i knew of Bobby Moore. His group performed for Vanderbilt parties at the Kappa Sigma house, my fraternity, several times, and i actually sang witht him and his band at a Sigma Chi party in 1963 — we were invited because we had put on “social probation” for our antics (remember “Animal House). The “B” Side was “Hey, Mr. DJ,” an instrumental that i used for my closing tune over dubbed with my program farewell.

When it hit me in the head Friday night, i got to thinking about it (a dangerous proposition). Bobby and i were from a different era. Looking at this from our perspective, talking about looking for a woman “who likes to sew and cook” made perfect sense AND was in no way putting women down. We, at least Bobby Moore, my friends, and i respected them for those skills and needed them.

Then, i imagined today with hordes of women descending with fangs out, foam around their mouths, screaming expletives against such foul, backward, abusive men like us daring to say such things. Going even further off track, i recalled that training session in Detroit when three men, myself among them, shrinking down into their chairs attempting to become invisible while the 21 women in the group went ballistic about whether they should be called “ladies,” “Mrs.,” “Miss,” and Lord knows what else.

Now, don’t get me wrong. i think women should always, always be on a equal standing with men. i think i’ve proven that is my conviction during my Navy career.

Then i thought again about Maureen. She is a modernist. She is all in for women’s rights. The amazing thing she, as Bobby Moore was searching for, is a woman who likes to “sew and cook.” It’s certainly not the kind of sewing and cooking i was thinking about back then, and i’m pretty sure Bobby wasn’t thinking that way when he intoned those words. Today, saying, singing or thinking those things could get us into a whole lot of trouble.

Now, Maureen is all in on causes for women. She is as “feminist” as she could get. But you know what? She loves, loves to “sew and cook.” Of course, her sewing of the “textile art” quality, far beyond hemming some pants. She doesn’t even deign to hem my pants. i have to take my pants to the tailor when i want them hemmed. That’s okay.

And cooking? Many chefs would be proud to cook as well as Maureen. No bad meals in this house, and they are all healthy. i only get comfort food when i sneak out to a pub or cook it myself.

Sitting there in Bleu Boheme, that wonderful restaurant, Thursday night, they brought out a chocolate mousse with a lit candle on top for her birthday. i thought who cares? We love each other and that’s enough.

Above: Maureen and i together for our second Christmas, 1984, in Ponte Vedra, California — i was in Diego Garcia for our first one.

Yesterday

It was a good day, quiet except for family and friends calling and texting Maureen. We went to our favorite French restaurant, Bleu Boheme, just the two of us.

It was Maureen’s 74th birthday. Hard to believe she thought enough of me to marry me.

i wrote a note to her this morning that said, “You are the most beautiful 74-year old woman in the world, inside and out.” She is.

i won’t be as bombastic as i usually am. i’ll just say i am a very, very lucky man.

This is the two of us in 1988. Like i said, she is beautiful, a wonderful woman.

Happy Birthday, Maureen…and thanks.

A Tale of the Sea and Me: Gimme a Nickel

As the USS Hollister (DD 788) began her preparations for the six-month (supposedly) overhaul to begin in September 1974, which was eventually awarded to Todd Shipyards in Long Beach, my Master Chief Boiler Tender and i went down to the firerooms (Man, i can’t believe i cannot remember his name: we spent many hours together, and he saved my bacon more than once. He was also the only chief in the deep holes, firerooms and engine rooms after the ship went to the reserves. i’ll finally either remember or find his name and add it here. He was a great chief.

The Pre-Overhaul Test and Inspection (POT&I) team from the Surface Forces, Pacific would be coming on board soon to test critical equipment in the engineering plant and throughout the ship.

The master chief and i went down into the forward fireroom to the forced draft blowers, huge blowers that sent a lot of air into the boilers. There were two blowers for each boiler, four in the forward fireroom and four in the after fireroom. The master chief went to the first one, pulled a nickel out of his pocket and placed it, standing on end, on the top of the blower. He yelled for the duty BT to turn on the blower. It revved up and ran for a couple of minutes. The BTCM proceeded to the rest of the blowers in the forward fireroom, and i accompanied him as we repeated the process in the after fireroom. If the nickel fell down, the master chief proclaimed that the blower would need an overhaul. When we completed the master chief’s tests. He announced that three of the eight blowers needed an overhaul and the other five were fine with regular maintenance.

About a month later, the POT&I team came aboard. They went to the firerooms and hooked up a whole bunch of expensive and sophisticated electronic equipment with wires and meters and lord knows what else to the blowers. They ran their tests and about a month later, they sent us the results. Their tests, Lord knows how much they cost, revealed three of the forced draft blowers needed an overhaul but the other five did not. They were exactly what the master chief had determined with his nickel.

A Tale of the Sea and Me: Pray for No Rain

In the late spring of 1974, Commander George Phelps soon would be relieved in a change of command ceremony aboard the USS Hollister (DD 788) in Long Beach. The outgoing captain, XO, and department heads considered what the options were if it rained. The weapons officer suggested that we move the ceremony from the 01 deck (with attendees in folding chairs on the pier) to the reserve armory about 3/4 of a mile away. The captain asked how were we going to get the crew there.

The weapons officer replied, “We’ll march the crew there, sir.”

At that, the captain, the XO, the Ops officer, and yours truly, the chief engineer, fell out of our chairs laughing at the idea of such a debacle.

The discussion reminded me of a story from one of my best golfing buddies, Marty Linville. Marty, an Army major who was awarded the Silver Star for his actions as an artillery officer in Viet Nam, was stationed at the Naval Amphibious School primarily as the director of the Navy’s gunfire support range on San Clemente Island.

During a rare command personnel inspection, Marty was in charge of the gunfire support personnel. He was having them take position for the inspection as was about to give them the command “dress right, dress,” but had second thoughts. He called his master chief petty officer to the front to consult.

“Master Chief, what should I expect if i order the troops to “dress right dress?”

Without hesitation, the master chief replied, “Chaos, sir; absolute chaos.”