All posts by Jim

A Pocket of Resistance: Crying Jag

i do not understand how, when i am working continuously to clear out and organize papers, photos, computer files, and niches holding an unknown number of things, why the piles keep getting higher.

When i completed my Navy active duty, i was excited because two-year, even four-year tours never gave me enough time to do all of the things i wanted to do to make my command permanently better. This included many, many, regulations and instructions which needed to be either tossed or streamlined (after all, the Navy is a bureaucracy too). So i thought i would have time to put things in order.

But my task continues, apparently unending. And yesterday, i found a poem, not properly filed, from 1984.

A month or two before, Blythe, my daughter, had returned to her mother in Austin after several weeks with us. It was the first time she had spent time with Maureen and me after our marriage. It was in our wonderful home in Ponte Vedra Beach. i dont’ think there are many things much sadder than a man having to say goodbye to his daughter, regardless of the circumstances. Then several months later, i was thinking about missing her and i walked the half-mile from our house to the beach. It rained and inspired me to write the poem. i wrote this later while my ship, the U.S.S. Yosemite, was on local operations off the coast.

crying jag

crying jag;
pelicans, swirling
low over cresting waves
slow:
a painting in the morning mist
burns through,
no discernible edge yet,
the lone man on the beach
walks where
the ocean folds back upon itself;
the man with a gray sweater
protecting against the late fall moisture,
trousers rolled knee-length,
shoes in one hand,
turns with his free hand shading his eyes
to return the pelicans’ gaze;
the wizened face tightens;
tears well up and roll
down the creases in his cheek;
darker clouds overhead
commence showering
pelicans and man;
the pelicans, if they cared,
could no longer tell
the man was crying.

 

A Pocket of Resistance: Water Hours…No, Not the Ones at Sea

This post is an avoidance strategy.

My printer went out last Tuesday. i could have made a fix on the old all-in-one, but it was time. So i wrestled with it for three days, did the Jewell version of quality assessment, and bought a new all-in-one printer, disregarding all of my research.

Since Thursday, the old printer is uninstalled and in the garage. The new printer is sitting on my desk with all of the cables unattached. i vowed to do it right: read all of the manuals and electronic instructions first, then follow them step-by-step, ensuring the wireless connections work, and on, and on, and on.

i don’t think i would be electronically, computer, or web challenged if i studied the procedures and the functions. But frankly, i don’t like spending my time learning all of the things to make things work to let me write and communicate. i spend more time on what makes it work than working on what i intended. It’s a lot like going out in the garage to do some home task and finding i need to do three or four other things first, and go get a tool i once had but don’t now.

Just flat don’t like that sort of thing.

So writing this is an avoidance strategy to keep from getting into the printer thing i know will take be at least two days and about a gallon and a half of frustration.

But this wasn’t supposed to be my avoidance. This was supposed to be about an idea that popped into my mind while watering spots on our front lawn this morning.

And that too is another story, especially about water in the Southwest corner.

You see water in the Southwest corner is mostly not from the Southwest corner. It comes from snow packs in the Sierras and down, down, down to the Colorado River, the one in Colorado, not in Texas, through the loam rich soil of the truck farms in Arizona and California to the east.

When it gets dry here — Duh: after all, this is high desert meant to support the four hundred Kumeyaay who lived on pinyan nuts here long ago, not the four million souls who have moved here to rely on Colorado River water and snow pack. Duh — the overlords pass down their judgment and their authority to the water authorities who declare the dear residents to kill the grass, which didn’t belong here in the first place. Reminds me of all the eastern folks who moved to Arizona because the climate and the vegetation was really good for all sorts of problems, especially allergies. So all of the folks get there and what do they do? They plant all the things from back home that produced allergies and other ills. Now the highly occupied areas of Arizona have allergy problems. Duh.

Regardless, our lawn damn near died. You see, my wife, the wonderful, incredible, responsible, loving Maureen Renee Boggs Jewell is a water Nazi. She was known to stop while driving to work to knock on a neighbor’s door at 7:00 a.m. and tell them they needed to turn off their lawn sprinklers because it was raining. So when the water authorities (hah!)  put out water hours for the good citizens, especially those with lawns, the water Nazi went overboard. No water. Lawn damn near died.

But the dreaded drought ended, sort of, as i predicted, and now the water authority and everyone else is worried the water will allow things to grow, which will become fire hazards in the next dry spell. Go figure.

The water Nazi maintained the rigid water hours and the lawn continued to die. So bad. i talked of turning our lawn into decomposed granite with boulders and pots of plants. But the lawn Nazi is also the money Nazi and didn’t want to spend the money to convert the lawn to decomposed granite (like my son-in-law, one Jason Gander, did to a small area behind his gate in Austin which looks really nice).

So i am working to save our front lawn. i rise early as usual, grind the coffee beans and start the coffee maker, set the breakfast table, and then as dawn suffuses light into the gray of morning,  i uncoil the hose off its hanger on the side of the garage, pull it across the driveway, and begin my spot watering of the driest parts of the lawn.

Somewhere in the middle of this small task, i thought of…no, connected with my father. Some of my earliest memories of him were him watering plants in our yard at 127 Castle Heights Avenue. He would get home in the late afternoon, early evening from fixing cars, grime in his fingernails and on his work clothes. His sleeves rolled up, he would take the hose and hit the needed plants and lawn spots until he was sure they had been given their proper sustenance.

Later, he had a sizable garden plot on the first tier from the road at the “lake cabin,” with tomatoes and other things always better than the store bought produce. He would go out several times a week to weed and water the small plot, waiting for the ripening.

Before they moved down the road to a more accommodating home for my mother who could no longer ascend or descend stairs without pain, without danger, he had planted a smaller patch he cordoned off from the rest of the yard with two by six boards. He would stand there in the morning and then later in the evening with the hose in his right hand measuring the effectiveness of the nozzle spray, ensuring his flowers and tomatoes (yep, tomatoes again) had enough but not too much water.

And once moved into the “adult condo” community, he found enough sculpted areas of dirt and pots to plant flowers, which he watered daily and in the summer twice daily.

i admired his constancy, his responsibility, his knowledge, his precision. But i saw no joy, no peace in this practice he practiced for as long as i could remember. It was admirable, but i didn’t have the patience. i liked these automatic, timed watering systems spraying unknowingly over the grass and plants.

Then, this morning in the gray break of morning, standing two thousand miles away from his watering, i recognized a peace, a simple joy coming to me. It was quiet, enjoyable, non-specific: just standing there with the water flowing from the nozzle on the bare, dry, and yellowed spots to become green again, regardless of the craziness of a green lawn and water hours in the high desert not meant for such landscaping.

There are many things my father taught me. i only recall about four letters he wrote when i was far away. We talked a lot, but only on maybe three occasions he gave me instruction. Yet he taught me continuously, and it always led to what my good friend Peter Thomas calls “doing the right thing.”

As i stood there this morning with my calmness, my peace in performing my task, i realized he still is teaching me.

And later, the printer has been installed properly.

A Pocket of Resistance: The Hawk, a real one, and me

I should be asleep. i will arise in four or five hours to do what i used to do in ten minutes except it now takes almost two hours to leave the house. Our first tee time is 0700 and Navy security is screwing up again, so i must leave earlier than usual. 0515 should be a good time.

i will go the back way probably: down the 54 freeway, but exiting south on I-5, not North. Going North means traversing the Coronado-Bay bridge and with security not opening the carrier or ocean gates because security wants to take an early day off for the Labor Day weekend, the bridge will be hammered from all the civilians and Navy personnel who don’t get the early day off trying to get in the main gate only.

Stupid drives me crazy.

And then my lone remaining passion in sports has smacked me in the head…again. Vandy looked like…well, they looked like Vandy: almost good but not good enough. Another long season looms.

So i sit here, not quite ready to hit the rack, but needing to do just that.

And i scanned my documents on the computer. And i found the below. i think it fits my mood:

hawk, on the fourth

hawk, soaring above
the periphery of southern California
civilization on the Fourth,
majestic in his flying hunt.

so hey, mister hawk,
are you seeking
a field mouse or rabbit or my cat,
which now also stalks your canyons and laderas,
which are what the mexicans call hills
only a few miles south of this high desert
turned green by the water
pumped in from arizona?

hey, hawk, are you also
turning to scavenging garbage
like the coyotes
at the bottom of the gorge below my house,
and
like the crows
who share your street lamp perches?
or
do you only occasionally feed
off the dead rabbits
just a bit too late crossing
the newly asphalted road
leading up the hill?

i marvel at our audacity
to infringe on your domain, mister hawk,
as i walk with the dog over your range
before returning to my house behind the hill
where the farm house,
the lone structure within miles of here
for many years
but now surrounded by the tract homes,
the lone house with truck hulks,
rusting pieces of metal and machinery
lying about
on the few remaining houseless acres
not yet leveled
by the graders of the development men.

Notes from the Southwest Corner: an addendum to “A Pleasant Walk Through History”

lebanon-bookThis photo of the book cover accompanied the column in the paper addition of the paper (hmm…i have to think about that statement).

As per my usual modus operendi, i didn’t go back and check and therefore didn’t include the other books on that shelf: No Longer Hangs the Fluted Shade: Random Observations in Verse, Paul Wooten’s poetry book; Castle Heights Military Academy 100th Anniversary  Alumni Directory;  Grand Ole Saturday Nights, Margaret Britton Vaughn; Discovering Tennessee, Mary U. Rothrock; Dropped Stitches in Tennessee History, John Allison; Tennessee: The Volunteer State, Mary French Caldwell; Landmarks  of Tennessee History, edited by William T. Alderson and Robert M. McBride; Remembering Wilson County, published by Wilson County Bank & Trust; and Haunting Memories: Echoes and Images of Tennessee’s Past, photos by Christine P. Patterson and text by Wilma Dykeman.

And although William Faulkner was as Mississippi as Mississippi can be, his works bring me back to home. Faulkner’s County: Yoknapatawpha, a photographic essay of Jackson, Mississippi and the surrounding area accompanied by quotes from Faulkner’s novels evoke feelings, real powerful feelings, and i include the book in my list.

i have found the information about the books and their authors, editors, and publishers are almost as interesting as the books themselves.

i keep trying to imagine Major Wooten bending over his desk, writing his poetry by hand in his classroom (wasn’t it in the McFadden basement, Heightsmen of my time?) after the cadets had gone to short order drill on the drill field; the track team had rendezvoused on what is now known as Stroud Gwynn Field and will soon become history so Wilson County Bank and Trust can build a headquarters building (sometimes progress isn’t) and played Jimmy Reed’s album of blues over the press box speaker system, the baseball team had ambled down to the diamond on hill street east of the drill field to smack out hits and field grounders and lazy fly balls. And then i try to picture the erstwhile major taking them home and clacking out the poems on his typewriter into the late evening.

Lillian, his wife, compiled and edited them. i have a copy signed by Lillian, dated the year the book was published, 1994. i ‘m sure my mother and father bought the book for me. Lillian wrote, “Jim, Enjoy a chat with Mr. Wooten through this book of verse.”

i have had chats with the Major on numerous occasions.

His poetry is more poetic than mine. His is classic poetry. And it rhymes. It is thoughtful, deep, light, meaningful, humorous, and most of all, it touches my soul. Yet it seems we both have had this passion for writing, not necessarily for others to read, but something that drives us from within to put things down on paper, except now it’s on this infernal computer screen. Of course, it is pleasing to know people read what i write and like it. i’m sure Major Wooten felt the same when his works were published.

There are times when i chastise myself for missing him. He was always there on the hilltop in his Army greens, but i never had him for class. i think we would have connected. i remember him as being a nice man who seemed professional, a teacher. i had already started to write poems, mostly as an outlet and all pretty bad. i have never rhymed very much and keep trying to categorize what i write because “poetry” seems like an exaggerated compliment. But Paul Wooten’s verses are poetry, pure poetry.

In the introduction, Lillian writes when April rolls in, she will honor his request to “Look out the window once, for me.”

And in April, i will look out the window, pull No Longer Hangs the Fluted Shade down from the bookshelf and have another chat with the major.

 

A Pocket of Resistance: JD, a Very, Very Funny Fellow

For those who might have missed my time with JD, we met for the first time on board USS Okinawa in transit from Perth to Sydney, Australia in 1981. After returning from deployment, JD moved into my apartment on Coronado for several months. Then he moved to what was then the Oakwood apartments about eight blocks from me. We sailed on his sailboat and ended up, with the help of Blythe selecting, in a condo in the Coronado Cays. Maureen and i were maid of honor and best man at his and Mary Lou’s wedding in April 1983 before we married that summer.

The four of us have remained fast friends through about ten moves and living about 1200 miles from each other.

JD is the funniest, most inventive guy, i have ever known. i don’t watch comedians live or on television because JD is funnier.

For example, as i was going through stuff to organize or toss this afternoon, i ran across an invitation to his and Mary Lou’s home in 1992. As JD said, “It’s a double-wide in Lakeside.” The home was so well done, i occasionally think about doing it myself. Of course, Maureen would leave, but kill me before she went. After all, Mary Lou had to ward off a mother o’possum in her bathroom with a hair dryer.

Still i think you might enjoy JD’s humor.

First page:

jd-invite

Second page:

jd-invite-2

The man is a genius. The party was great.