Category Archives: Murphy’s Law desk calendar

“Murphy’s Law”

From my “Murphy’s Law” desk calendar archives thanks to Aunt Evelyn, Uncle Pipey, and cousin Nancy:

Ballance’s Law of Relativity: How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you’re on.

Goofy guy’s extension of Ballance’s Law of Relativity: This law increases exponentially for men as they age. Proof: Watch Peter Sellers in “The Party” scene while Claudine Longet is singing.

“Murphy’s Law”

From my “Murphy’s Law” desk calendar archives thanks to Aunt Evelyn, Uncle Pipey, and cousin Nancy:

Wethern’s Law of Suspended Judgement: Assumption is the mother of all screwups.

Goofy guy’s recall of Wethern’s Law: Best explained by Tony Randall’s character Felix Unger in the “Odd Couple” television series during a courtroom scene when Felix wrote “Assume” on the flip chart, divided it into his syllabic breakdown, and proclaimed, “‘Ass-u-me’ makes an ass out of you and me.”

“Murphy’s Law”

From my “Murphy’s Law” desk calendar archives thanks to Aunt Evelyn, Uncle Pipey, and cousin Nancy:

Fifth Law of Unreliability: To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.

Goofy guy’s comment on the Fifth Law of Unreliability: This human can foul things up exponentially when he has a computer.

“Murphy’s Law”

From my “Murphy’s Law” desk calendar archives thanks to Aunt Evelyn, Uncle Pipey, and cousin Nancy:

Cornuelle’s Law: Authority tends to assign jobs to those least able to do them.

Goofy guy’s disagreement concerning Cornuelle’s Law:  When i was loaded down with a whole bunch of tasks because of my position on a staff, my friend and Admin Officer Al Pavich asked my boss why he kept giving me more things to do; the boss replied, “If you want something to get done, you give it to the busiest worker.”

“Murphy’s Law”

From my “Murphy’s Law” desk calendar archives thanks to Aunt Evelyn, Uncle Pipey, and cousin Nancy:

Robert’s Axiom: Only errors exist.
Berman’s Corollary to Robert’s Axiom: One man’s error is another man’s data. 

Goofy guy’s corollary to Berman’s corollary to Robert’s Axiom: There are a lot of other men using my errors as their data.

“Murphy’s Law”

From my “Murphy’s Law” desk calendar archives thanks to Aunt Evelyn, Uncle Pipey, and cousin Nancy:

The Basic Law of Construction: Cut it large and kick it into place.

Goofy guy’s current observance of The Basic Law of Construction: i’m replacing a cross beam of our trellis this morning and intend to comply with this law. 

“Murphy’s Law”

From my “Murphy’s Law” desk calendar archives thanks to Aunt Evelyn, Uncle Pipey, and cousin Nancy:

Robertson’s Law: Quality Assurance doesn’t.

Goofy guy’s corollary to Robertson’s Law: And if an executive of any organization claims it does, then he or she is wearing it like a hood ornament, not revealing what’s under the hood.

“Murphy’s Law”

From my “Murphy’s Law” desk calendar archives thanks to Aunt Evelyn, Uncle Pipey, and cousin Nancy:

Wright’s First Law of Quality: Quality is inversely  proportional to the time left for completion of the project.

Goofy guy’s Navy First Lieutenant’s reflection on Wright’s First Law of Quality: It remains amazing to this old deck officer how many CO’s and XO’s would scream about properly painting out the ship, i.e. quality, but then demand radioing (Navy term for painting over rust, etc.) when a senior Navy officer or high-ranking government official was visiting within a week.