Monthly Archives: July 2017

Random Thoughts on an Early Monday Morning

i awoke even earlier than usual. i went to bed early last night. In the depth of the morning darkness, i tried to go back to sleep to no avail because random thoughts kept filling up my head. Many of those thoughts seem to come from nowhere, not my experience, not from anywhere. They were pretty good, good enough to write about.

So i got up to do just that: write about those random thoughts. Of course, by the time i got to my desk and computer, i had forgotten damn near everyone of them.

However, there were a couple i remembered:

For about twenty-two years, my primary purpose in life was to meet the Navy’s Mission: “To conduct operations at sea in support of national policy.”

They’ve gussied up that mission statement since then. It now reads “To maintain, train and equip combat-ready Naval forces capable of winning wars, deterring aggression and maintaining freedom of the seas.”

In other words, the Navy has given itself more leeway to do other things besides support the national policy.

The new statement is much more political, bureaucratic, and undoubtedly modified with legal concerns.

i liked the old one.

i did that, meeting the mission, the old one. Twenty-two years or so.

It made life easy. Everything else fell in line with following that mission statement. It truly was the way i lived.

Then i retired. I bumbled around for quite a while. At first, it was easy. Sarah was born the day i retired. i didn’t write it out, or even qualify it in my mind, but my new mission for that period of time was to take care of Sarah. Then, we got a care-giver, Karen Escobedo. Perfect. Lived about three blocks away. She turned into more, giving Sarah a look at life with children across the board in race, religion, countries, and even children with disabilities.

It was time for me to bumble some more. Somewhere in all of that bumbling, i finally came up with my new mission statement: “To lead a good life, do the right thing, be a good man.” i can’t be the judge of how well i’ve adhered to that mission. i’ll let others do that after i’m gone. But i try.

Yet sometimes, i think it was easier with the Navy. i could be a good guy, sympathetic, understanding, fair, compliant, obedient, bad guy, tough, mean and angry, even unfair, cool, decisive. You see, i was to be whatever it took to meet the mission.

With my new mission, i often just sort of plug along being me, not adapting to meet my mission. Not good. It is hard to go against the grain, not modify my actions and behavior to meet my mission, especially when someone else’s interests and concerns are involved.

And in the Navy, my mission included driving large steam ships at sea.

It was glorious and easy compared to trying to lead a good life, do the right thing, be a good man.

One observation occurring after my Navy years. It never was an issue back then. After all, i had no time to consider such things when my primary goal was to meet the Navy’s mission:

Unconditional love and conditional love do not mix well.

“Way Too Skinny for Me”

After my post about our evening at the Belly Up Tavern last Sunday, my sister-in-law, Patsy Boggs, asked me to retell the story of how Maureen and i met. When i searched my archived posts, i realized the post about that momentous occasion had been one of the posts lost in the great crash of my website provider. Well, it’s a pretty good story, and it has resulted in 34 years together come tomorrow. That’s July 30. 1983. So here we go:

It was early March 1982. i was the Weapons Officer of the USS Okinawa (LPH 3) homeported in San Diego. The Weapons Officer billet was titled “First Lieutenant” on other amphibious helicopter carriers. Regardless, it meant i was charge in pretty much everything not aviation, engineering, operations, or supply related.

One of those responsibilities was being in charge of the quarterdeck where all visitors entered the ship. From previous regimes, we had a large red torah that spanned the entrance into the helicopter deck below the flight deck. It was impressive, but Captain Dave Rogers called me to his cabin one afternoon. “Jim, I want our quarterdeck to be the best quarterdeck on the base. I want it to be the most impressive and known to be the best by everyone homeported here.”

I, of course, replied, “Aye, Aye, Sir!”

i discussed how we could make the quarterdeck renowned  across the waterfront with my division officers and Boatswain Warrant Officer 4 (CWO4) Ellis. The Bosun had a bit of a beer gut. He was married to a wonderful Filipino woman who macraméd  a lanyard for the boatswain pipe the bosun gave me. She was about 4’8″ and almost that wide. Great lady, just a bit wide.

We came up with the idea of a sitting area next to the quarterdeck. At the time, when guests or visitors came aboard, they had to wait for the watch to contact whomever they were there to see. That sailor or officer would have to come to the quarterdeck to escort the visitor. Often, the time it took to get to the quarterdeck was lengthy.

So we decided we could create a sitting area with panels, some chairs, maybe a sofa, and hang framed photographs about the Oki on the walls. That way, the visitor wouldn’t have to stand around in the working bay of the helicopter deck. Great idea.

We had to decide where and how to get panels. Since the Bosun and his first class were going to make a supply run Friday, the next day, i asked them to check out panels while they were on their run. Liberty call was early and the Bosun and his first class left around 1300. They were dressed in their standard liberty civies. The Bosun had on Levis with a blue tee shirt with his thick black hair combed back as much as it could to resemble a ducktail. His first class had on his biker’s jeans, white tee shirt with a leather jacket and a silver chain dangling down from the jeans. He had straw blond hair also combed back and the gap of a missing tooth was the final touch. They left for their mission.

i had a bunch of paperwork to work through and continued on after liberty call. The bosun came into the office with several boxes of toilet paper (i never understood why he didn’t get it through supply).

“i didn’t think you would be coming back to the ship, Bosun,” i remarked.

“Well, i didn’t want to keep this stuff at home over the weekend,” he replied.

“Did you find any panels?”

“Well sir, we went to Dixieline (a local lumber and home center). They didn’t have them, but they told us to go to Parron-Hall.”

“Parron-Hall?” i puzzled.

“Yes sir. They’re an office furniture place downtown across from the county admin building. We went there, but that place was way too classy for us. They had desks in the showroom worth more than my house.

“You are gonna have to go down there and see about them panels.”

“Aww, come on, Bosun, i have a lot on my plate.”

“No sir, you are gonna have to go down there. It’s on Ash Street.”

Then he added, ” You know sir, the woman who waited on us was really pretty. i noticed she didn’t have a ring on her finger. i’m pretty sure she’s single.

“And she’s way too skinny for me.”

Epilogue

Maureen, 1983

Midday on Monday, i drove down to Parron-Hall Office Materials. i asked the receptionist to see the person who had given her business card to Bosun. i stood at the entrance to the showroom. She came walking across with the sun shining in the window behind her (think Glenn Close in “The Natural” only prettier). She claims i had my piss cutter on my head. That, of course, is not correct: i am a country boy from Lebanon, Tennessee raised correctly by my parents and, by the way, an officer and a gentleman. My hat was off.

We had numerous discussions about the panels, which required about four or five “business” lunches over the five or six weeks for the panels to arrive. When the deal was done, i asked for that date to see John Lee Hooker at the Belly Up. We attended several events over the summer including sailing with JD in the “Fly a Kite” race where we became (or at least JD became) a legend. We went out to dinner too many times to count.

And, as i have noted before, one night up in Mission Hills, i was driving and just pulled over and parked in a residential area overlooking one of canyons. We talked. And i realized we thought a lot a like. It took until early February before we determined it was, as they say, it was meant to be.

So, that’s the story, Patsy, and that wedding took place thirty-four years ago on July 30, 1983.

i think it was pretty cool. Thanks, Bosun Ellis for determining she was way too skinny for you.

Tiburon, 2013
Hong Kong, 1993

 

 

 

 

 

La Quinta, 2017

Strange Brew

This was begun after we went to the Belly Up Tavern this past Sunday evening and completed over the next few days. There is at least one other post related to this one.

It is past midnight. Old men should have been in bed a long time ago. But tonight was different. 34 years of marriage.

We planned it about three months ago. We paid way more than we are comfortable for the tickets. We were going to cancel. Then, we said to each other, “What the hell; let’s do it.”

It wasn’t even the right date. Hell, it wasn’t even the right weekend. The wedding occurred on a hot afternoon on July 30, 1983 on Taft Street in Lemon Grove, Ray Boggs’ home where Maureen grew up . But a lot the event seemed to fit with our celebration.

The event was at the Belly Up Tavern in Solana Beach where we went on our first official date. I had maneuvered to have quite a few “business lunches” right after i met her, but we were professional and even i shied away from anything more than a business relationship.

Then the partitions were delivered (as per her sister’s request, i will retell meeting Maureen later), and after two months of business, the deal was sealed. That day in her office, i asked her for our first date.

“Would you like to go see John Lee Hooker?” i asked.

“Who’s that?” she questioned. i sensed reluctance.

“He’s one of the legends in the blues,” i replied hoping to get her more interested.

“What’s the blues?” she asked.

“It’s the best,” i replied.

Surprisingly, she said, “Okay. But you have to understand i have a primary relationship.”

“What’s that?” i asked honestly.

After she explained primary relationships, and i told her about the blues, we worked out the arrangement. She met us at Lou Rehberger’s apartment in Solana Beach. Lou, his date, JD Waits and his date, and Maureen and i went to the Belly Up Tavern. John Lee Hooker was the main attraction that Saturday night. He didn’t disappoint.

The following Monday night, JD and his date, Maureen and i returned for Doc Watson’s performance.

Maureen was introduced to Blues and Bluegrass within three nights. She loved it. There were other dates to events but most of our summer, usually two or more nights a week, we went out to dinner. There was some reluctance to further the relationship on both sides. i was a very single lieutenant commander in San Diego with an apartment on Coronado and very pleased with my status. She, as you might remember, had a primary relationship.

But that wasn’t going real well for her and one of her closest friends asked her about that “sailor boy.”

We were married about ten months later. Thirty-four years ago.

When we came back to San Diego after an incredibly rewarding and final operational tour for me as executive officer of the USS Yosemite and the first year together in our marriage in Jacksonville, Florida, we again went to see John Lee Hooker at the Belly Up. He was even better than the first time.

We went one more time in the late 1980’s to see Taj Mahal. We weren’t disappointed but other factors including the Belly Up being on the opposite north/south ends of the county kept us away.

About a dozen years ago, we went to see a BB King concert in the outdoor stage a couple of miles south of us. We both saw Susan Tedeschi for the first time, and Maureen saw Buddy Guy for the first time. Unfortunately. Buddy’s lead-in show wasn’t over until after 10:30, which meant BB wouldn’t start until almost midnight. Maureen had a workday the next day. We bailed. We did see BB and Albert King at Humphrey’s. Maureen’s conversion to Blues lover was complete.

Then we saw the advertisement for Buddy Guy. At the Belly Up. Done deal.

Since our first forays up north, the Belly Up and Humphrey’s have become the rage. People fight to get into the concerts. Neither is the laid back fun place to enjoy good music they used to be. Now they are events. That means, of course, they have become outrageously expensive. It also meant there are long lines to get in. At the Belly Up, it appears they have reduced the seating and raised the attendance capacity. Seats in the middle have been taken out for perimeter tiered seating. It is so small it is still okay, but now there are over half of the crowd standing in the middle. For up to four hours. That’s after a half-hour to 90-minute wait in line. Not for this old folk.

But then, we were inside. i sat with this beautiful woman in the place where we had our first date in 1982. i put my arm around her. i did not do that 35 years ago. We listened to the blues like we did back then. John Lee Hooker is gone. BB King and Albert King are gone. Damn near all, if not all of those blues legends are gone. Buddy Guy was a bit different, a guitar wizard and more akin to Jimi Hendrix than Sonny Boy Williamson and Little Walter. But the backbone of his guitar playing was the blues and he’s back.

It was just about right for our celebration.

Yet as we looked around, there was something just not quite right about the scene itself. Other than the bass and lead/rhythm guitarist and, of course, Buddy, the crowd of 600, the maximum, may have included a couple people who weren’t pale of skin, but i didn’t see them. The entire audience was pretty much middle and older “white” folks, perhaps remembering earlier times, perhaps there because it was a “go-to” event.

Old chubby men in cargo shorts, bad Hawaiian shirts, and pork-pie straw hats, bobbed their heads in appreciation but out of rhythm (think Gene Wilder and Richard Pryor in the bathroom scene of “Silver Streak”). These old men wore flip flops or white tennis shoes with white socks. Old women in knock-off muumuus and Birkenstock sandals swayed, also in questionable rhythm. The younger set in their forties (there may have been a few dipping into their thirties, but again, i didn’t see them) crowded around the two bars and were swigging them down like it was a race. They were talking in groups, not too engrossed in the music.

i mean this was Buddy Guy. His lead-in was this eighteen-year old “white” kid guitar phenom named Quinn Sullivan. He was good, real good, fast like Buddy. Buddy showed his eighty with talk of giving back, getting along, and a number of trips to his coffee cup at the back of the set while the band played breaks. He still has the guitar playing and the showmanship, using more profanity to shock and induce nervous laughter. But he is Buddy Guy.

The young folks would love him. The folks with darker skin would love him. Where were they?

The world changes. Places i love become popular, a few try to remain the same but seldom do. Prices rise. Worse, crowds searching for the new “in” make them…well, crowded and noisy. Sorta like cars: i buy one i really like. They become popular. The car makers make ’em plusher, add electronics, take away the sports ride so they will ride smoother, modernize the straight stick, and of course, raise the prices.

Maureen at Sierra Robles winery in Warner Springs, the day before we went to the Belly Up.

But for one evening celebrating an incredible 12,791 days of pretty much joy sharing my life with this elegant woman sitting next to me who is getting down, clapping in time, moving with the young Quinn’s and Buddy’s guitar playing, it’s okay. i’m not into those old “white” folks. Hell, i’m not even one of them. i’m an old blues nut, appreciating what has evolved from its roots. And to do so with Maureen makes just about perfect.

100

She would have been 100 today.

She had that Prichard grit right up to the very end, when she said, “You make the decision. I’m tired of making decisions.” With the support and counsel of my sister Martha — Joe, trying to get home from Ireland later supported and agreed — i made the decision. Mid-morning, the next day, she was gone. We all knew she was where she wanted to be. With him.

It has been a little over three years. i was going to include a bunch of photos of her from the farm on Hunter’s Point Pike to basketball player to war momma (me) to her with her family, that would be us including the two siblings who continue to make me proud, and some of her throughout her life, but quite frankly, it was getting difficult to find the ones i wanted. She would understand that. She had some problems with new technology and photos. Didn’t like it. So after a full day, i sat here considering what to do.

After all, it is her 100th birthday.

Earlier, my brother and my niece posted photos of her. Good photos. i really don’t need to do that now.

And i won’t write a lot about her. i think anyone who has read some of my stuff knows.

i will just go to bed thinking about her and what a wonderful impact she had on so many. And there were two who just always seemed to glow when they were with her.

and

Happy Birthday, Mother. You remain wonderful.