Monthly Archives: April 2017

It Is a Beauteous Evening, Calm and Free

i was a good ole boy, a young good ole boy to be sure, but essentially a Southern small town boy still unaware of what lay out there in the magical world of the written word. The now sadly defunct Castle Heights Military Academy in Lebanon, Tennessee gave me a look see into literature courtesy of  Majors Harris, Donnell, and Wooten.

i was titillated by the joy of fiction by Vanderbilt’s Dr. Sullivan in the course we called “Novels.” — i was not really supposed to be there, but it was my last shot to bring my civil engineering major grades up to a C average. Prior, the engineers and the Navy would not allow me to wander from the rigors of math and science to pursue my whims, but that summer of 1963 gave me liberty to choose my courses. So i had to retake “Statics,” the one course i flunked in four semesters of 19, 21, 20, and 18 hours of courses which that civil (oh, what a terrible description of my course load) engineering department and the Navy ROTC scholarship minions demanded while i was dumb enough to think i was smart enough to attend all sports events, party damn near every night, gambol at every chance, and play cards and drink beer until the early mornings, stopping only on the day before exams to cram one night on coffee and “No Doz” to make passing grades even though each ensuing semester signaled a continuing slide down the academic flunk out tunnel until i finally came to within one course of flunking out without failing a course. Fourteen D’s in four semesters (in addition to that one F, taken over that fateful summer and raised to a C). But that wondrous summer i took Drama 101, Philosophy 101, the dreaded Statics (2 something), and Sullivan’s Modern British and American Fiction (4 something: it was a senior and graduate course).

i didn’t make it but the beauty of Carson McCullers, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Ernest Hemingway, William Faulkner, and of course, my hero and Vanderbilt’s own Robert Penn Warren took me away to another planet. i was then undeniably, officially in love with writing, albeit a rather naive love of the monster i adored.

But nine months under one Mister Fred Russell, erstwhile and nationally known sports editor of The Nashville Banner, whetted my appetite for writing, especially sports writing. Feeling my oats once again, i entered Middle Tennessee, the “rather parochial” (as described by Dean Richard Peck) bastion of teaching education, and more stubbornly pursuing a BA even after the Dean of Arts and Science, my academic counselor, stunned, questioned my sanity with “Are you sure? You know you must take a foreign language (Spanish: that didn’t take either). You know you would be one of the first ever to major in English as a BA, not BS?” and “hmm,” i thought, “How strange?” and “BS just doesn’t sound right or literary enough to me.” And so i took to my pursuit of writing, sports writing to be exact.

i wandered through a rather bizarre world. i moved back home. i continued writing for the Banner, now as a county and sports correspondent. i began my brief but very enjoyable career as a radio man, deejay at WCOR AM/FM. i commuted to Murfreesboro with my buddy Jimmy Hatcher, Ken Berry, Clifton Tribble, and other friends in the early morning, traversing back and forth on Murfreesboro Road, more formally known as U.S. 231 and more informally as road kill trek, getting home in time to have dinner (that’s the noon meal from where i come) with my father, usually a baloney and American cheese slice sandwich with iced tea before laying down on the two couches in the den for a joint midday nap. i took required classes like physical science because the chemistry and physics D’s didn’t transfer, and later trigonometry, which i had taken under Colonel Brown in CHMA’s advanced math program. And i passed both with A’s without ever opening a book, and becoming the lab assistant for the physical science professor, which let me flirt with a lot of pretty coeds. AND i took wonderful literature courses where i was challenged and others like English Literature where the old lady professor, Dr. Emily Calcott read Percy Bysshe Shelly’s nine cantos Queen Mab: A Philosophical Poem; With Notes verbatim in class. All of it. Seems like that summer course took about two dozen years.

And then i took Dr. Peck’s Shakespeare class, and i began to see the world, or at least my small literary part of it, differently.

And finally, i met Dr. Bill Holland. Bam! We became friends. He took me under his wing and revealed a whole new world. He was from Mississippi, been a surveyor for the Army Corps of Engineers. Got his Romantic Literature doctorate from the University of Edinburgh. Yeh, that one in Scotland. Wrote his dissertation on the common thread in literature from Chaucer through Shakespeare through the Romantics, especially one Mr. William Wordsworth. i was told he received a “first class” doctorate, one of ten awarded in the history of that university. Yeh, that University of Edinburgh.

So we talked about Mr. Wordsworth, and i compared “time” of WW and RPW (Wordsworth’s “Lines Composed a Few Miles above Tintern Abbey, On Revisiting the Banks of the Wye during a Tour. July 13, 1798” and Warren’s “The Ballad of Billie Potts”). And he liked it. And we talked some more. And i cut other classes to discuss deep things in his office like the symbolism in Bob Lind’s Top 40 hit, “Elusive Butterfly (of Love),” and what was it Billy Joe McAllister and that strange woman threw off the Tallahatchie Bridge in Bobbie Gentry’s “Ode to Billy Joe,” and did Plato err when he got the decimals from Egypt wrong and Atlantis consequently was really in the Adriatic, not the Atlantic, and more and more and more.

But before Holland, i was not into Romantics. i mean why would a good ole boy be concerned about some Englishman who wrote about daffodils? Now, i like daffodils and even more to the point, i think writing about daffodils and butterflies can be manly. Caring but manly. i like that.

Two days ago, i learned it was William Wordsworth’s birthday from “The Writer’s Almanac.” i had known that but forgot. To honor him, the writers and editors of the “Almanac” included a Wordsworth poem.

i read. i’m so glad Dr. William Holland, my friend, introduced me to that guy who wrote about daffodils.

It Is a Beauteous Evening, Calm and Free
by William Wordsworth

It is a beauteous evening, calm and free,
The holy time is quiet as a nun
Breathless with adoration; the broad sun
Is sinking down in its tranquility;
The gentleness of heaven broods o’er the sea:
Listen! the mighty Being is awake,
And doth with his eternal motion make
A sound like thunder—everlastingly.
Dear Child! dear Girl! that walkest with me here,
If thou appear untouched by solemn thought,
Thy nature is not therefore less divine:
Thou liest in Abraham’s bosom all the year,
And worship’st at the Temple’s inner shrine,
God being with thee when we know it not.

Cass Done Gone

Sean Dietrich wrote a post this morning on his blog “Sean of the South” (http://seandietrich.com/).  Sean writes a post every morning. Judy Lewis Gray, as mentioned before put me onto Sean’s posts. i thank her again. Sean sends me his post each morning in an email to which i subscribe. i don’t know how he comes up with the stuff he comes up with every morning. i read them. Nearly all of them tug at my heart strings. The resulting music is enjoyable, soothing for the soul.

Sean’s post this morning was entitled “Dear Sean,” a letter from a fifteen-year old sad boy about his dog dying. Sean wrote of his own loss of a best friend. It made me recall my sad moment. When i went to find an old post with a poem about my friend Cass, a wonderful Labrador, golden in color, who was more part of me than just a friend, i discovered that old post had also vanished in the great website provider disaster several years ago.

So for “fifteen and sad,” Sean, and everyone else who has had to put their dog down, here again are my thoughts on Cass leaving me:

Cass Done Gone

a part of my soul left today.
the stubborn, ole cuss of a lab was more me than him
i worshiped the way he defied the world
until it no longer mattered.
some people told me
i would know when it was time.
i did not believe until
that silly old dog told me two nights ago and
told me last night it was okay.
he has been my mirror, my dreams, my soul
fifteen years.
i could tell him me like i can tell no other.
i am not ashamed of crying, feeling lost.
my granddaddy would scoff:
it isn’t the way it was back then.
there is an emptiness in my soul.
i am really not sure i’ll recover.
yeh, the pain will go in time;
the emptiness will be covered by events passing by,
but the hole will never be filled,
he was one of a kind to me.
he was me
he is gone.
i will bury his ashes at the top of the hill behind the house.
you can see the beach where he body surfed;
you can see the trails where he ran with abandon,
scaring hell out of coyote, rabbit, possum and birds alike;
if you turn around you can see the home he ruled
welcoming unknown people as if they were long lost friends;
taking on all dogs who foolishly entered his territory:
the doberman, the big shepherd, and all other intruders
stood clear after one encounter .

my feet feel cool now.
for most of his life, he would lie under my desk,
while i read, contemplated or typed with
his head resting on my feet.
the silence is awkward:
even in his sleep, he would grunt, wheeze,
kick the walls, chasing something in his dreams,
my dreams.
run sweet dog again;
pant with delicious tiredness after chasing the blues away;
scan the field with those keen sparkling eyes that
always read joy to me;
catch the next wave to bound into the bubbling surf
shake the misery with the salt wetness
from your coat of gold;
lick the face of someone
to give them unmitigated joy.

goodbye, sweet Cass.
goodbye, you joyful part of my soul.

gossamer

gossamer in the micro-world we miss

 

she saw the photo,

laughed,
thought it inane;

in the morning when i saw the gossamer
in the dawn mist of the front lawn
i thought
beautiful, mysterious, another minuscular world;
for there in the waking hours
when we arise into our daily hurdles
of a complex world of humanity
with as many claims to living right
as there are humans,
out there in that yard
is a micro biosphere, if you will,
that shouldn’t be in the desert
except we have added water
from the Colorado and the Sierras snowbank
to allow another world
where gossamer beauty
in such an illogical place
has the purpose
to snare and kill game:
the ultimate and sole mission
of the minute spider
that wove this gossamer
on grass in deep in the high desert
off the coast of Baja;

i discarded her sarcasm
because
i thought the spider’s purpose
along with the gossamer
to meet its purpose
beautiful.

 

Indoor Cats

It was a morning after two rounds of Friday golf. i  played with my group of curmudgeons as usual; had a beer and lunch, and then joined my Pacific Tugboat friends for the Propeller Club tournament (the Propeller Club is an association of businesses dedicated to supporting all things concerning the well-being of San Diego Bay).

So when i woke up, i was not particularly energetic. Thirty-six holes of golf are now pretty demanding for this old man. But what the heck?

So for a change, i woke up second. Whoever wakes up second naturally makes the bed. That is when i had my first morning encounter with our indoor cats.

i like cats. However, i’m not too keen on indoor cats. My older daughter Blythe has had indoor/outdoor cats all of her life. Up until these two, all of my cats were indoor/outdoor. i think they should do their natural thing. But in our neck of the woods in the Southwest corner (okay, okay, our neck doesn’t really have woods, just high desert weeds and low-lying acacia, usually thorny, and not fun in the ten months of dry).

But my younger daughter Sarah got a kitten while she shared a house with other college friends. We had given up on outdoor cats because we had lost four to the snakes, owls, bobcats, hawks, foxes, falcons, and coyotes in the open space surrounding our home.

Sarah moved back home for her last two years at San Diego state, bringing that cat with her, the indoor cat named Dakota who had no desire to go outside after a mad dash into Halloween stormy weather for more than two weeks at the SDSU house. She was a sweet domestic cat, unlike most cats i’ve known.

Sarah recognized her mother was a fanatic cat lover. So when she began packing for her move to Austin,  she went and acquired another cat named over arguments about what to name this black and white tom from “BW” to “Bruce Willis” to the common referral to him as “Bruce” (me) and “Brucie” (Maureen).

To complicate things , Sarah couldn’t take Dakota to Austin. She moved into her sister Blythe’s home shared by Jason, Sam, two dogs, and at least two outdoor cats. They all recognized an indoor cat was implausible in such an evironment.

So, the Southwest corner Jewell’s ended up with two indoor cats.

It’s not all that bad since i remembered to always close the door. They are entertaining.

For example, when i began making the bed this morning, i heard a slight noise and turned around to see Dakota.

She was waiting patiently but anxiously for me to finish making that bed. You see, that bed is her solace, her safe place for the majority of the day.

Since there is a lot of cat hair involved with sleeping on our bed and Dakota prefers to burrow, Maureen created a cat pad, old sheet haven for the princess.

Yes, the princess. Dakota relishes the role.

So after i finished the bed and completed a couple of other chores, i returned to our
bedroom and found Dakota in her usual spot.

She is there every day as soon as her haven is prepared properly. In the afternoon, she comes out and lays on Maureen’s lap while Maureen is reading and continues this practice through the evening. Occasionally, very occasionally, she will do something radical and jump up on my lap while i’m watching a baseball game or reading.

But the bed, under that old sheet is her place. She even looks a bit cross if i sneak my phone nearby to take a photograph. i mean that spot is hers. Hers. Period.

Then we have Bruce. He will eventually wander into Dakota’s lair and being careful not to disturb the princess, will lay on top of the pillows for a brief rest. But in the morning, he is bouncing off walls, demanding to play, drinking out of the kitchen faucet, letting us know his needs with a few well-placed meows.

As i said, i’m not particularly fond of the idea of indoor cats. But i’ve grown attached to these two.

And in the morning, especially mornings when i’ve done something old man stupid like playing two rounds of golf the previous day. i can stiffly move about until i experience these two indoor cats. Then, they make me smile. My day starts on a good note.

That’s enough.

 

 

Grand Canyon

The FB post i shared today had a link to a poem of mine. Unfortunately, about two years ago, my web-service provider took a header and lost my previous posts forever. This is the poem i mentioned that was from that link.

Grand Canyon

Snow
until the lights hit the banks of the roadside,
blurting whiteness into the driver’s eyes,
it had not revealed its presence in the night.

Driver:
at the wheel since L.A. mid-morning,
staring bleakly at the white
long since ceasing to distinguish colors and shades,
reacting to only black and white.
recognizing the significance in the blanch of
late night white,
he slowed:
those uphill climbs around the curves
had brought them to the mountains
sunk in.

Car.
Slipping slightly, it slid over the median
into the glazed parking lot of the inn.

Bar.
Sunny, bearded cowboy
singing in the bar
accompanied by his guitar,
wired for sound:
electronic Tumbling Tumbleweeds.

Imagination?
shabby dirty man alongside
white robed man with wool-hooded jacket, looking like
Jesus in Pomona, returning to Sambo’s
after turning heads by asking for five balloons
and announcing,
“I’m going to bag some heroin.”
a real bad effort to impress
i guess.

Holes in the mountains.
snow outside is real;
the cowboy has sung his song,
turned off the amplifier;
daughter, curled beneath the covers,
is sacred.

Full day:
grand canyon, cowboys, and
white robed, doped up Jesus in Pomona
and
sleeping daughter in the snow.

Grand Canyon, Arizona
December 21, 1981